tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post7488548771019952887..comments2023-10-20T02:07:21.551-07:00Comments on Flathead Mama: why don't we ask men?Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-62765360300660889682011-09-21T12:39:11.392-07:002011-09-21T12:39:11.392-07:00Embers, Ahhhh...pleasing others...yes, this is a b...Embers, Ahhhh...pleasing others...yes, this is a big problem for us as women. Instead of doing what we feel called to do or what we are personally responsible to do, we take on a whole load of other things and then we get mad about it. Society's expectations are part of the problem, but even more importantly, we must learn to own our "yes" and "no."Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-48348786695539446152011-09-21T12:37:20.922-07:002011-09-21T12:37:20.922-07:00Catrina, you put it so perfectly, I have nothing e...Catrina, you put it so perfectly, I have nothing else to add!Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-9158250357997823012011-09-16T12:25:00.719-07:002011-09-16T12:25:00.719-07:00I think this is a good point, but it brings up ano...I think this is a good point, but it brings up another issue in my mind - men are more able to "have it all" because, other than in some workplaces, men aren't made to feel guilty for saying no to extra responsibilities outside the home. Men aren't guilted into helping run the church potluck, or teach Sunday School, or be a Den Mother for the Girl Scouts. Society as a whole accepts that men have a limited amount of time and resources, and then trusts them to make decisions about how to best use them. Women, on the other hand, are taught to help when we're asked, even if it cuts into other priorities, and we're taught that other people's needs supersede our own. It's like there's a cultural perception that others know better how we should contribute to society than we do. This makes the appearance of having it all a much stickier situation for women than for men. So, while I agree that some men need to step it up more in the home, I also think that we need to re-assess, as women, why pleasing others is such a driving motivator in our definition of having it all.Embershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02694029096885914219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-7782329978003269242011-09-16T12:09:23.442-07:002011-09-16T12:09:23.442-07:00Yes, exactly - I had the TV on while I was getting...Yes, exactly - I had the TV on while I was getting ready the other day and heard someone on some morning news show interview the author and director of this film, and all I could think to myself was "Why are we only asking women this question? Why is the baseline assumption that men can and do have it all (and have some inherent right to have it all, without the expectation of putting as much effort into maintaining the home half of it all) but women have to choose between work or family, or run themselves ragged trying to have both?"Catrina Cicconehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18368071694441359877noreply@blogger.com