tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68522057501713601372024-03-05T14:54:40.193-08:00Flathead MamaRebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.comBlogger211125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-42465837628076890992014-02-24T18:40:00.002-08:002014-02-24T18:40:59.907-08:00come visit me on my new website!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq8HD8HkM5UY6k_svcm55Fm_yPkXYDuRWe7-nQoGzqnRpnDprqZFE85BjasF2q7LvmrYhJvyAPf4b7YknLNHXPQw_kkOosxWymc_4jE07Ha3O5FHcOIET1c0rsCqUsyqFc_E-v08KsAanr/s1600/RFMNewBlog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq8HD8HkM5UY6k_svcm55Fm_yPkXYDuRWe7-nQoGzqnRpnDprqZFE85BjasF2q7LvmrYhJvyAPf4b7YknLNHXPQw_kkOosxWymc_4jE07Ha3O5FHcOIET1c0rsCqUsyqFc_E-v08KsAanr/s1600/RFMNewBlog.jpg" height="205" title=" " width="400" /></a></div>
Change is in the air! Today I launched my new website, <a href="http://rebeccaflorencemiller.wordpress.com/">Rebecca Florence Miller</a>, over at Wordpress.com.<br />
<br />
Writing here at Flathead Mama has been amazing. It has been a healing place for me and has reawakened the love of writing in my heart. I have loved sharing the amazing experience of being the mom of two incredible little people. But lately it has become more and more clear to me that I'm starting to
get boxed in by the "mommy blog" niche. Not only that, but as my kids get
older, I will become more limited in the detail I can or should share
about their lives. They will be entitled to more and more privacy.<br />
<br />
Beyond that, I really want to move to a more professional presence on the web. I want to blog one or two or three posts per month and really craft my writing. I want to open my writing up to a wider audience. I want to write about faith, the arts, politics. I want to do more to promote <a href="http://rebeccaflorencemiller.wordpress.com/your-freelance-editor/">my editing business</a>. And I am embracing a sleek, more visual website that is better adapted to where the web is at now.<br />
<br />
I may still blog here at Flathead Mama from time to time when I have a mommy blog-related thought to share. But my main home is now going to be over at Wordpress.<br />
<br />
Thank you for the amazing ride here at Flathead Mama, dear readers! Your response to what I have written has fueled my love of writing! You have restored so much passion and joy to my life. You have encouraged me in so many ways. I am deeply grateful for you all!<br />
<br />
Now please follow me over to <a href="http://rebeccaflorencemiller.wordpress.com/">Wordpress</a> and take a moment to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/rebeccaflorencemillerwordpress">like my new Facebook page too</a>.<br />
<br />
Thank you! I love you all!--RebeccaRebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-29256985121101309742013-12-12T14:14:00.000-08:002013-12-12T14:14:16.884-08:00Janelle Alvstad-Mattson: Actress and All-Around Creative Mom<div>
<div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEtSW74jRpITx_4D1Ey9GJPNwYE7OVxXFrzFHROlJY8FBY5cNRX-ZgbzU_9EHIiMsE0uvCoLqu8nCXHc6fLnw92I60JcRRv7DyVbYWmZe50koXlJ9atvL1CcK1-veLlp8n2B2p2a75RC9-/s1600/janellemattson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEtSW74jRpITx_4D1Ey9GJPNwYE7OVxXFrzFHROlJY8FBY5cNRX-ZgbzU_9EHIiMsE0uvCoLqu8nCXHc6fLnw92I60JcRRv7DyVbYWmZe50koXlJ9atvL1CcK1-veLlp8n2B2p2a75RC9-/s320/janellemattson.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Janelle on the set of <i>Parent Stories</i>.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="color: #660000;"><span style="color: black;"><i>I came know Janelle </i></span></span><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="color: black;"><i>Alvstad-Mattson through marriage; her husband, Neil, was one of my husband's best friends in high school. I've only met Janelle in person once, but she has been an incredible source of encouragement, support, and creativity through our online friendship. I am particularly grateful to her for her tender heart and good sense advice through many struggles and questions with my first baby. She's one of those moms who makes you feel better about yourself and reassured. Janelle is very creative, particularly with theatre and with art. I hope you enjoy her thoughts!</i></span></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">What are your primary outlets for
creativity? Tell us a little about your background and how you
developed these creative skills.</span></b></div>
<div>
I'm kind of an
artistic dilettante. I've always been pretty good (but not great) at
lots of things. Theatre is my favorite creative expression (I grew up in
community theatre and studied it in college), but it's also the most
difficult to do while juggling "real life." I sing A LOT, both real
songs and silly songs with made-up lyrics. For the most part my kids
like this, but my daughter went through a phase around 18 months where
she didn't like it when I sang. "No mommy sing, please!" was her favorite
phrase. I paint, I sew, I write, I take pictures. About the only thing I
don't do is scrapbook. <b><span style="color: #660000;"> </span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">Do you think creativity is important as a mom? Why or why not?</span></b></div>
</div>
<div>
I
think everyone needs some kind of creative outlet, mothers included.
Having some way to express yourself or create something is good for the
soul. Some people write, some people craft, some sing, others garden.
Finding time to be creative in my own way is difficult, but necessary
for me to feel fulfilled. </div>
<div>
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div>
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="color: #660000;">Having some way to express yourself or create something is good for the
soul. </span></span></span></b></div>
</blockquote>
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">What is a time in your life when you felt most fulfilled creatively?</span></b><br />
<div>
Most
recently I was in a play called <i>Parent Stories</i>. It was a community-based play written and performed by local parents with many of the
scenes based on real life experiences. Even though I discovered that I
prefer doing shows that are already written, it still felt fabulous to
be up on stage after an 8-year absence. <span style="color: #660000;"><b> </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>How did time or energy for creativity change after you became a mom?</b></span></div>
<div>
I'm
a stay-at-home mom and always feel like a salmon swimming upstream:
housework, cooking, cleaning, committees at church and schools, etc. I
don't get a lot of me time in general, and when I do I often want to
turn off my brain and veg in front of a TV show. I've found that the
creative projects I do end up doing tend to be projects for the children
or with them. Instead of painting, I decorate birthday cake. Instead of
sewing a new purse, I make "moon dough" for the kids. It still fulfills
a creative need in me, just in a different way. If I'm doing a
long-term project (like a painting or sewing project), I found it's much
easier to leave it out so I can work on it when I find a moment here or
there.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><span style="color: #660000;">Do you ever feel guilty about making time for creativity? How do you cope with that?</span></b></div>
<div>
I
try not to feel guilty about it. I think it's important for my kids to
see me doing things that I enjoy in order to inspire them to do things
they enjoy.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><span style="color: #660000;">Have you ever felt
pressured to express creativity in exactly the same way as some other
mom (maybe a friend or a mom on Pinterest or a blog)? In what way?
Have you found any ways to get past these pressures? How?</span></b></div>
<div>
I know some people do, but I don't really feel that kind of
pressure. I'm usually just inspired by Pinterest and other places where
people share ideas. </div>
<div>
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>Have you found any ways to use your creative skills with your kids?</b></span></div>
<div>
When my kids were very young, our town didn't have a preschool
music class, so I created one I called "Toddler Jams." Last spring I
taught an Intro to Theatre enrichment class at my daughter's school. It
was so much fun to teach kindergartners and first graders! At the end
they performed a few short scenes for their parents, including "It's a
Hard Knock Life" from <i>Annie</i>. </div>
<div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSss4gp7qjCYlRAVm3mgb5dBOwOna9Vie-Pp0z1ZMcfCMHw1fsOp9CEjbiwQhVm5gmmzhNOTkcNPjoQzxnjVSdGAJuctFayiTU0aqZkskE6x8ShXsoOZ7tnCGODRvAQ_DCFQatZ8PuWJmn/s1600/Rainbow+Unicorn+cake+Nora2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSss4gp7qjCYlRAVm3mgb5dBOwOna9Vie-Pp0z1ZMcfCMHw1fsOp9CEjbiwQhVm5gmmzhNOTkcNPjoQzxnjVSdGAJuctFayiTU0aqZkskE6x8ShXsoOZ7tnCGODRvAQ_DCFQatZ8PuWJmn/s320/Rainbow+Unicorn+cake+Nora2.jpg" width="293" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of Janelle's birthday cakes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I also make cakes. Someone told me I was a really good mom because I custom-make cakes for my kids' birthdays. Ironically, the cakes are really more for a creative outlet for me than to please the kids. That's just a nice side effect. I couldn't do it as any kind of job though, as I'd eat my weight in buttercream on a daily basis!<b><span style="color: #660000;"> </span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">Tell us what you love about the unique ways you express creativity. </span></b></div>
<div>
Because
I'm kind of a "jack-of-all-trades," I find myself sprinkling creativity all around the house. I feel good about what I've made
every time I see my son's hot-air balloon shirt, my lime green wall
mural, my woodblock photo, etc. </div>
<div>
</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div>
<b><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Try
to find easy creative boosts that give you some "immediate
gratification," even if it's different than your normal creative
endeavors. </span></span></span></b></div>
</blockquote>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<b><span style="color: #660000;">What advice would you give to a mom who feels that since having kids, she has “lost herself”?</span></b></div>
<div>
Try
to find easy creative boosts that give you some "immediate
gratification," even if it's different than your normal creative
endeavors. If you knit, rather than knitting a sweater, make a flower
brooch. If you write, find a moment to challenge yourself with a poem of
a certain meter. If you paint, paint your own picture when you set up
painting for the kids. Tempera is a totally legit medium.</div>
<div>
<div>
</div>
</div>
<br />
<br />
<div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwDlmB7Ppwv6ZDFHVHtF1CpWyRJ8sGJxokfycYlS8cGYwNLfl_6KRB4y5bG_8rhQOSyZqwxhJzvY1w5FQbqvXdrSIplwNqS7_GX3ZJRmWTuw1si_RKe-dmOTUW0nCwfLg7zVsjZ4Qy7key/s1600/ithaca+family+fun+mural.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwDlmB7Ppwv6ZDFHVHtF1CpWyRJ8sGJxokfycYlS8cGYwNLfl_6KRB4y5bG_8rhQOSyZqwxhJzvY1w5FQbqvXdrSIplwNqS7_GX3ZJRmWTuw1si_RKe-dmOTUW0nCwfLg7zVsjZ4Qy7key/s320/ithaca+family+fun+mural.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A mural Janelle worked on.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div>
<i><span class="il">Janelle</span>
Alvstad-Mattson is the Coordinator of Domestic Affairs at Mattson
Household Enterprises. She created and maintains <a href="http://www.ithacafamilyfun.info/">the Ithaca Family Fun website</a>, a labor of love and another creative outlet. She also has a blog, <a href="http://livinggorges.blogspot.com/">Living Gorges </a> in conjunction with the website. <span class="il">Janelle</span> lives in Ithaca, New York with her 4-H sweetheart, Neil, and their 2 towheaded children. </i></div>
</div>
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-16147976787816080192013-11-20T05:27:00.000-08:002013-11-20T05:27:47.620-08:00Sandi Martin: Finances Can Be Creative (MamaTalk: Creativity)<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjtWvbte_VOYQQvTlNhFCx9_IHVPblyGmBrkCmKOk3hYEOlGooUPv4XHvfv4pFX3h2nkdU8N_vHSvU-KHIMaod9HpPLm4Hgq8Spn5WeE8R20a5h3bFn9k-laLPPe73oFLjIngXl1X81YkG/s1600/SandiMartinWhatCreativityLooksLikeToMe.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjtWvbte_VOYQQvTlNhFCx9_IHVPblyGmBrkCmKOk3hYEOlGooUPv4XHvfv4pFX3h2nkdU8N_vHSvU-KHIMaod9HpPLm4Hgq8Spn5WeE8R20a5h3bFn9k-laLPPe73oFLjIngXl1X81YkG/s320/SandiMartinWhatCreativityLooksLikeToMe.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sandi says: "This is what creativity looks like to me."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<i>When I was just getting started as a blogger, Sandi Martin was an encourager and a great source of information. I loved following her blog, </i><a href="http://www.themrs.ca/">The Mrs.</a>, <i>and enjoying her tongue-in-cheek humor and good-heartedness. Oh, and we shared a really big appreciation for the virtues of butter. Sandi's big area is finances and I really wanted to include her in a discussion of creativity to show that one size does </i>not <i>fit all when it comes to what makes us moms feel alive. After all, if we were all the same, that wouldn't be very creative, now would it? Without further ado, here's what Sandi has to say:</i></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<i> </i><b> </b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>What
are your primary outlets for creativity? Tell us a little about
your background and how you developed these creative skills. </b></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
I’m
creative at entrepreneurship. I started a one-woman financial
planning practice in January of this year, and have been website-building, blog-writing, tweeting, Google-plussing, and--most
importantly--planning my face off since my client acquisition
efforts gained momentum about five months in. Every day I’m either
working with money or writing about money, and that fact alone is
enough to make me do a happy dance...when I’m not at my wit’s end
trying to be a full-time mother of three and full-time
businesswoman using overlapping hours of the exact same day.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>Do you
think creativity is important as a mom? Why or why not? </b></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
Creativity
is as important as you let it be. If on one of my more
stressed-out, stretched-to-my-limit days someone collared me and
told me that if only I was more creative it would solve
everything, well...there’d be trouble. But on good days, when I
have enough mental capital to spend some on navel-gazing, I’m
rational enough to realize that when I’ve made time to do what I
love, it’s easier to love what I do in the rest of the time, even
if it’s just climbing Mount Laundry.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
</div>
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>What is
a time in your life when you felt most fulfilled creatively? </b></span>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
Now.
Without a doubt, I’ve never felt more creatively fulfilled than I
do right now. I’m building a business around my family, according
to my rules. I’m producing a service that has the potential to
change lives, and--get this--people are paying me for what’s
already in my brain. It’s given me the opportunity to write for
multiple publications, and--because I’ve recognized my limits--it’s allowed me to slow down my posting schedule at <a href="http://www.themrs.ca/" target="_blank">The Mrs</a> and relax into my true
writing voice (which is High Nonsense, for those of you unfamiliar
with my cherished alter-ego.)</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>How did
time or energy for creativity change after you became a mom? </b></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
It
disappeared, although I wasn’t using it much before I became a
mother anyway. Oh, I painted and organized and gardened, but
mostly I read. I used to walk around in downtown Toronto for hours
with my face buried in a book, or spend an entire lazy Saturday on
the couch with two or three favourite re-reads, only pausing for a
few minutes to pee or get more junk food. There wasn’t anything
else I really wanted to do with my time anyway.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>Do you
ever feel guilty about making time for creativity? How do you
cope with that? </b></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
No, I
never do, and there are two very precise reasons for that: </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
1. The
business I’m building is built around family time, meaning: I wake
up at five to get a solid hour and a half of work in before the
rest of the family wakes up. I take forty-five minues of Sesame
Street time while my two youngest are having a snack to get some
more work done. Nap time gives me another hour and a half - two,
if I’m lucky. The kids go to bed between seven and <span class="aBn" data-term="goog_1232604475" tabindex="0"><span class="aQJ">seven-thirty</span></span>,
which gives me another two concentrated hours of evening work
before I close the laptop and watch Dr. Who with my husband.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
2. My
version of creativity happens to make money. I’m bringing in a
full-time income without having to pay for daycare. Who’s going to
argue with that?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>Have
you ever felt pressured to express creativity in exactly the
same way as some other mom (maybe a friend or a mom on Pinterest
or a blog)? In what way? Have you found any ways to get past
these pressures? How? </b></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
I have a
very dear friend who is the most mind-blowingly creative person I
know. Everything she touches is beautiful, modern, clever, or cute
(most things are all four.) There was a very long span of time
during which I was very, very jealous of her abilities, but--fortunately for me, because she’s one of my best friends now--that was many years of self-reflection and tough honesty ago. It
took a long time, and some purposeful self-denial before I could
enjoy her creativity without worrying about my own, but these days
I just sit back and reap the rewards of having such an
extraordinarily gifted friend. </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF6z40BE0YdteKny2jZWnkCIHc0sqA3SaZscAnfrk7q8yWg_o7bhph7Vh_wYwU0tvR_HdOcoovv9hdEcMCQXnamx-DPK65dHdial2fEBsjrwpOAhEoZEw6hFFFJE09VwIRcBku30NzaKmp/s1600/SandiMartinOtherPeopleInMyHouseBeingCreative.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF6z40BE0YdteKny2jZWnkCIHc0sqA3SaZscAnfrk7q8yWg_o7bhph7Vh_wYwU0tvR_HdOcoovv9hdEcMCQXnamx-DPK65dHdial2fEBsjrwpOAhEoZEw6hFFFJE09VwIRcBku30NzaKmp/s320/SandiMartinOtherPeopleInMyHouseBeingCreative.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Other people in my house being creative."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>Have
you found any ways to use your creative skills with your kids? </b></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
Heh.
Unless you’re talking about my ability to make anything into a
(badly sung) song, then no. As much as I’d love to pat myself on
the back and talk about what a good example of a working woman I
am to my daughters and son, that would make me barf. I’m pretty
sure that they truly believe that my work involves sitting in
front of computers and typing gibberish (some days I’m pretty sure
of that myself). There are lots of other things we do together
that are classically “creative,” but my own unique brand of
creativity is hard to share with three kids under five. </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>Tell us
what you love about the unique ways you express creativity. </b></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
Honestly,
I love that my version of creativity creates money. What a classic
money-nerd answer, eh? My personality is one that craves approval
(functional first-borns in the room, raise your hands), so the
fact that complete strangers want to quote me, or publish my
writing, or even--gasp!--pay me to wade through their financial
lives and make sense of it all? I get to do what I love and be
approved while I do it? Sign me up.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>What
advice would you give to a mom who feels that since having kids,
she has “lost herself”? </b></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
My short
answer is a financial planning joke: </div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">Q.
What’s the one answer that’s guaranteed to be right one-hundred
percent of the time?</span></b></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">A. It
depends.</span></b></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">(Wild
laughter)</span></b></span></span></div>
</blockquote>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
The longer
answer is this, and I’m agreeing to give advice only because we
all know that most advice applies only to the person giving it: </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0px;">
Get up
early in the morning - at least an hour before anyone else. Brew
some coffee (tea, if you must, but in the full knowledge that I’m
judging you for it), take a walk, read a book. Don’t make any
noise--not just because you don’t want to wake up the kids, but
so you can be alone inside your own head for a while. Do it for a
couple of days a week and see what kind of creativity starts to
coalesce in your mind. Repeat. If you can’t create more time for
yourself in the morning, find ways to decrease your workload,
either by hiring a housecleaner for three hours every other week,
getting someone to babysit for an hour every Wednesday, or just
letting the Cheerios sit on the floor and the laundry pile up
(higher) for a while. Fill that space up with something that you
love, even if it’s just reading a book. (Dusts off
hands, happy to have fixed the universe)<br />
<br />
<i>Sandi has been writing nonsense at The Mrs(<a href="http://www.themrs.ca/" target="_blank">http://www.themrs.ca</a>) since 2010 and less nonsense at Spring Personal Finance(<a href="http://blog.springpersonalfinance.com/" target="_blank">http://blog.springpers<wbr></wbr>onalfinance.com</a>) since January 1st, 2013 (she likes tidy fiscal years). She has three kids, no cats, and one husband.</i></div>
Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-47211327461121120202013-11-04T14:12:00.000-08:002013-11-04T14:12:43.387-08:00Samantha Schurke: Interior Designer (MamaTalk: Creativity)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW_Qwwmg0B2Z4wjX2O8_XxEixP6yNZ0TKhJVoNc89iz17ILU-TyLGd_GIiGET90r35L0BUHhPhCVmDIWbDnoGobwMsVcTKXCO8LesmfgkvhsWo6Q6uwSUrBJy1nN88PWSZERkXeBf1EmGS/s1600/Sam_Halloween2012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW_Qwwmg0B2Z4wjX2O8_XxEixP6yNZ0TKhJVoNc89iz17ILU-TyLGd_GIiGET90r35L0BUHhPhCVmDIWbDnoGobwMsVcTKXCO8LesmfgkvhsWo6Q6uwSUrBJy1nN88PWSZERkXeBf1EmGS/s320/Sam_Halloween2012.jpg" title=" " width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #660000;"><span style="color: black;"><i>I got to know interior designer Samantha Schurke through my local MOPS group and other community and church activities. Even though Sam is incredibly visual and gifted at any kind of artistic or craft endeavor and I am more geared toward words, we have found so much in common. In fact, conversations with her about creativity and how it functions in the life of a mom were a big part of the catalyst for this series. </i></span></span><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="color: black;"><i><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="color: black;"><i>I so appreciate her honesty about the challenges; you can always count on Sam to be open and honest and real. </i></span></span>I also greatly appreciate her dogged ability to keep pursuing the gifts God has given her, even through the challenges that having a young family </i>and<i> a young family business bring about. I hope you enjoy her perspective and visit her websites!</i></span><b> </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>W</b></span><b><span style="color: #660000;">hat are your
primary outlets for creativity? Tell us a little about your background
and how you developed these creative skills.</span></b><br />
Since
I was a little girl, I have been interested in art and design. My dad
and I would draw up floor plans for new tree houses and forts that we
would build. We would make material lists of what we needed and go
shopping for hardware. Painting and setting up the new room, fort or
yard was my favorite part. Then I was over it, ready to move on to the
next project.<br />
<br />
After
taking a couple of years off after high school, I started looking into
Interior Design and Industrial Design programs. I ended up receiving a
Bachelor of Arts in Interior Design. I currently work for myself,
subcontracting to companies, offering professional interior design
services, visual boards, rendering and CAD work. I mainly work with
commercial interiors. That is how my creative brain pays the bills. I
also enjoy sewing, DIY projects, and continually trying to expand my
knowledge of graphic design. <br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>Do you think creativity is important as a mom? Why or why not? </b></span><br />
Being
a mom forces you to be creative, whether you know it or not. It
requires out of the box thinking to come up with new creative solutions
every day. As moms, I think it is important to have CONFIDENCE in our
creativity.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>What is a time in your life when you felt most fulfilled creatively?</b></span><br />
Exactly
two years ago this week, I was submitting a full-scale design package
to Hilton Hotels for approval of a three-story hotel remodel. It was
accepted and praised by my customers and the reviewers. This was a huge
project that was a culmination of about a year’s worth of programming
and design phases. I had never worked on such a large-scale project
before and the results were very successful. At the time of the submission, I
was too overworked and stressed to feel proud of this accomplishment,
but now, looking back, I feel so thankful to have had the opportunity and
to have made it out in one piece.<br />
<br />
My son celebrates his 2<sup>nd</sup> birthday this Friday… you do the math.<br />
<br />
<div class="im">
<b><span style="color: #660000;">How did time or energy for creativity change after you became a mom?</span></b></div>
I
usually have the energy to explore new creative pursuits; the time is
another story. In my line of work, innovation and continuing education
are imperative. I struggle with feeling like I am not current with
trends, products, and technologies. Before having my kids, I would be
constantly gathering information and resources during my free time.
This opportunity no longer exists. I spend (eat) a significant amount of time at
the beginning of each project refreshing and collecting new information.
It is frustrating at times to not have the time that I desire to
“learn” about my ever-changing field.<br />
<br />
<div class="im">
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>Do you ever feel guilty about making time for creativity? How do you cope with that?</b></span></div>
I
don’t. Sometimes I have a hard time justifying it to others though.
Creativity is my “hobby.” I don’t go skiing or watch sports on TV or
collect action figures. I create. I have always been flexible with how
my creative outlets are dispersed. I find the need to draw or sketch
random thoughts or ideas on scratch paper all over my house. This gets
it out in little spurts. Sometimes my creative pursuits spill over
into day-to-day functions, like drawing pictures of what I need at the
grocery store instead of making a list. I’m ok with that.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sometimes my creative pursuits spill over
into day-to-day functions, like drawing pictures of what I need at the
grocery store instead of making a list. I’m ok with that.</span> </span></span></b></blockquote>
<div class="im">
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>Have you ever felt pressured to express creativity <i>in exactly the same way</i>
as some other mom (maybe a friend or a mom on Pinterest or a blog)? In
what way? Have you found any ways to get past these pressures? How?</b></span></div>
I
feel the pressure to start a blog. Blogs are such an awesome outlet for
creative people to put their ideas out into the world. I love DIY and
interior design blogs and often think, <i>I should do that!</i> As you can
probably tell by now, writing is not my gift. I draw, sketch, layout,
design, organize, and format. Writing a blog requires content and I have
no desire or skill to document the written word so why do I think I
want to blog?<br />
<br />
I think sometimes I get lost in my creative pursuits and have to backtrack, reminding myself what I <i>really</i> want to do, and refocus on what I am good at.<br />
<br />
<div class="im">
<b><span style="color: #660000;">Have you found any ways to use your creative skills <i>with </i>your kids?</span></b></div>
We
draw, paint or cut something out and glue something else back together
daily. This is fun for me. I like crafting and so do my kiddos so that
is a great creative outlet.<br />
<br />
As
for my design background, up until now, not really. Besides making
overly-elaborate scale models of castles out of paper mache for a
Valentine box, my skills are not really needed or appreciated by my
children as of yet. However, my days of tree-house building are right
around the corner and I will celebrate the day my boys ask me for help
drawing up the floor plan for their creation. I just hope that I can
have the maturity to not just take over the project. <br />
<br />
<div class="im">
<b><span style="color: #660000;">Tell us what you love about the unique ways you express creativity. </span></b></div>
I
like to create things that are my own. However, I have always done a
good job being able to balance it with learning from what others have
done. “There is no original thought.” “Don’t reinvent the wheel.” Brilliant people have been coming up with creative solutions since the
beginning of time. Especially now, in our technologically-rich world, we
have access to resources that those even a generation ago did not get to
utilize. Take the project, research what others have done, and put a new
spin on <i>your</i> solution. I love that I live in a world that has such excellent access to ideas.<br />
<br />
<div class="im">
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>What advice would you give to a mom who feels that since having kids, she has “lost herself”? </b></span></div>
I
guess it is just like anything else. You just have to make it a
priority to carve out the time for it. Just like date night: schedule
it. Put it on the calendar: "Tuesday the fourth--<i>FIND SELF!</i>" I
think it has also been helpful to me to find a way to contribute
financially using my creative skills. My husband is much more
supportive of creative time when it has a paycheck attached. I am not
always doing exactly the dream scenario that I envisioned myself, but I am using my creative brain and trying to be
flexible.<br />
<br />
<div class="im">
<i>Samantha says: I
live with my husband, two boys and seventeen sled dogs in Bigfork, MT.
In addition to my family, I share my home with many visitors throughout
the year that come in conjunction with my family's other
business, <a href="http://www.basecampbigfork.com/">Base Camp Bigfork.</a> Base Camp Bigfork provides year-round lodging, guided services, and
equipment rental for those recreating in the Flathead Valley. I spend
much of my creative time these days volunteering with my local MOPS
group where I have the privilege of thinking of fun and creative things
for sixty-four wonderful women to do throughout the year. It is a good
life.</i><i> You can see examples of my Interior Design work through my website <span style="color: black;"><a href="http://www.schurkedesignservices.com/" target="_blank">www.schurkedesignservices.com</a> or by calling 871-9727 to set up a time to meet, in my office, at 8525 MT Hwy 35, Bigfork, MT.</span></i></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqSI8wOJ7mjHTqvVPddzTUmimwTI5R1mgYHbE_jzf_PnS_N24HoBppLdjecxwIqZOi87oiy9JLOk-T24ioLzysjwOWs3tbxOGRWZ_u8IyjuECOQAeozazeueoIBktw6_hsOrxnLRUqW9tt/s1600/SalenaCollage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqSI8wOJ7mjHTqvVPddzTUmimwTI5R1mgYHbE_jzf_PnS_N24HoBppLdjecxwIqZOi87oiy9JLOk-T24ioLzysjwOWs3tbxOGRWZ_u8IyjuECOQAeozazeueoIBktw6_hsOrxnLRUqW9tt/s400/SalenaCollage.jpg" title="" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A collage of some of Salena's crafty projects.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><b><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </span></span></span></b><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i><span style="color: black;">After a week's hiatus, we're back again with more MamaTalk: Creativity. Today I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Salena Adams. I met Salena through my local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group one year. She is a talented seamstress and an encouraging friend with a heart for the home. I hope you enjoy her thoughts. And check out some of her beautiful projects above!</span></i></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What
are your primary outlets for creativity? Tell us a little about your
background and how you developed these creative skills.</span></span></span></b><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I never really considered myself all that creative before I
had kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did some scrap-booking and a
tiny bit of sewing, but if you asked for a creative person I certainly wouldn’t
have been the one to raise my hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
think things changed after I had kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
needed an outlet other than taking care of family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got more into crafting for myself always
with a practical bent to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never
liked just making “something pretty.” I wanted it to be functional too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One January, I wrote a list of goals (not
resolutions, per se) for the year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Top
of the list was getting comfortable with my sewing machine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I learned a lot in that year and have really
come to enjoy the process of sewing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
think I like figuring out the project as much or more than the actual sewing.
I’m not one to use or follow patterns exactly, much like my cooking, but I
think I find freedom in that from my normally perfectionist nature.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Also I am a children’s leader at Bible Study Fellowship
(BSF).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This allows me to use my
creativity to customize activities to go along with our lessons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>BSF has an excellent framework for teaching
while allowing flexibility in the specifics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s been fun to tailor my free play, large muscle and rhythm activities
to run the thread of the lesson all through the morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also ther</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">e is the inherent need to creatively
keep the attention of a class of twenty four-year-olds.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Do you think
creativity is important as a mom? Why or why not?</b></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I think creativity for me as a mom is important.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having something beyond the basics of keeping
my family fed and cared for helps me be a better mom.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What
is a time in your life when you felt most fulfilled creatively?</b></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Right now. I have a weekly
outlet for my creativity at BSF.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">How
did time or energy for creativity change after you became a mom?</b></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Like I said before, I wasn’t
that creative before I had kids so I think it stayed about the same. My kids
are older now which makes it easier to be creative with them around.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Do
you ever feel guilty about making time for creativity? How do you cope
with that?</b></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I don’t feel guilty about
taking time for myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I generally do
big projects when the kids are asleep or otherwise occupied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I have some creative time I am less
stressed, more balanced and a much more fun mom to be around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a win win for everyone.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Have
you ever felt pressured to express creativity <i>in exactly the same way</i> as
some other mom (maybe a friend or a mom on Pinterest or a blog)? In what
way? Have you found any ways to get past these pressures? How?</b></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">There are lots of cool
things on Pinterest, but sometimes I just have to not look at it at all. If I’m
looking for something specific it can be helpful but not just for
browsing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t try and live like someone else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think evaluating if a project is really “me”
or not takes a lot of the stress out of it. It also makes me think of this
quote:</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">“There's
no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” <br />
― Jill Churchill</span></span></span></b></span></div>
</blockquote>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Everyone has their strengths and I
think you need to play to your own.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Have
you found any ways to use your creative skills <i>with </i>your kids?</b></span></span>
</div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">We always make cards for
relatives for birthdays, holidays, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Also we make most of our gifts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, depending on the gifts, they may make most of it or just help me pick
out materials.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Tell
us what you love about the unique ways you express creativity. </b></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">I love that what I do
(sewing, crafting, etc.) can be done at home with my family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t have to leave the house to do
something creative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That allows me to do
little projects, or parts of projects, without disrupting the flow of our
day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And now that the kids are getting
older and more able to participate it makes it even more fun. I also love being
able to make gifts for people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only
is it generally economical, it’s fun to be able personalize each item.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What
advice would you give to a mom who feels that since having kids, she has “lost
herself”? </b></span></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I think she would have to
figure out what is going to refresh her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It may be carving out some time to do that favorite thing she did before
kids. But on the other hand it may be doing something completely different that
she can incorporate into her life with kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And it may very well be a balance of the two.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsTgSEZEbzwv7Q2t7Fu_JetXfO45viaYI0DVEtChGnfnJiJSByLQ3AQbBze33beUbhYWAS5tQP3Za8O_6UoWF34iV7aWgmbWpTHSywzV94lnpYvbjemCOXALo-AFgyR1hFhz59ZYHVwSDq/s1600/SalenaHeadShot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsTgSEZEbzwv7Q2t7Fu_JetXfO45viaYI0DVEtChGnfnJiJSByLQ3AQbBze33beUbhYWAS5tQP3Za8O_6UoWF34iV7aWgmbWpTHSywzV94lnpYvbjemCOXALo-AFgyR1hFhz59ZYHVwSDq/s200/SalenaHeadShot.jpg" width="133" /></a><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Salena Adams lives in Kalispell, MT with her husband Dave
and their two children. </span></i><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<br />Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-76850584141048652882013-10-18T15:09:00.000-07:002013-10-18T15:10:06.221-07:00Little Locals' Owner, Jessica Eliason (MamaTalk: Creativity)<i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijzAPJt-uKM94bNsrjg760unyBfvAXe8Tl2pa8bSAWDzzaQ30eSAC7TNsYzz8_sqz66nLeCI1myl3_u4NN65W_Mb3DUNFFy09Mowut7tZcw3ZFZkBMuua1MdUpCPAyGmJ8MfQDXf2Dj1M3/s1600/JessicaEliason.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijzAPJt-uKM94bNsrjg760unyBfvAXe8Tl2pa8bSAWDzzaQ30eSAC7TNsYzz8_sqz66nLeCI1myl3_u4NN65W_Mb3DUNFFy09Mowut7tZcw3ZFZkBMuua1MdUpCPAyGmJ8MfQDXf2Dj1M3/s400/JessicaEliason.jpeg" title=" " width="266" /></a>I've gotten to know Jessica Eliason through her amazing shop in downtown Kalispell, Little Locals. <a href="http://flatheadmama.blogspot.com/2013/02/cloth-diapering-love.html">I wrote about buying my cloth diapers there previously when it was called Blooming Bellies.</a> Jessica is that rarest of business owners who goes completely out of her way to help people find answers to their questions. I mean, seriously, when I was battling the case of the stinky ammonia diapers, she was on top of it with me, bending over backwards to help me figure it out. She is an amazing source of information but she is also an incredibly kind and caring lady with a great capacity for creativity. Her shop is full of beautiful apparel for kids, creative (and safe) toys, feeding gear, diapering gear, and everything else that you need for the modern kid and modern mom. It's an awesome place to shop for yourself or to buy a baby shower gift! The store is set up beautifully and Jessica's talent is obvious. I hope she keeps on thriving and I hope that after you read her thoughts, you head on over and visit her store!</i><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">What are your primary outlets for <span class="il">creativity</span>? Tell us a little about your background and
how you developed these <span class="il">creative</span> skills.</span></b><br />
Pre-children, my outlets were cooking, crafting, sewing, and writing. And probably a lot of other "outlets" I funneled <span class="il">creativity</span>
into that don't really have a solid label. After having one child, I
did pretty well keeping most of those outlets alive and well. During my
second pregnancy, nausea subsided and <span class="il">creativity</span>
kicked in in full force. I opened a maternity and children's boutique in a
few weeks, fueled by my mid-pregnancy energy surge and a general
excitement about creating a space where I could earn an income, have my
children with me, and <i>be <span class="il">creative</span>.</i> It
was months after giving birth (to the shop, and to my second daughter)
when I realized that my dusty old fashion design degree was what made it
possible to just whip up a boutique. But once the "creating" became
overshadowed by the everyday obligations of being a business owner, it
became a real challenge to find opportunities (and TIME) to keep those
juices flowing. It comes in spurts now, and I am currently in a phase
of reminding myself how important it is to KEEP BEING <span class="il">CREATIVE</span>, for me. It's part of my life force, and I become a cranky <span class="il">mama</span> when I can't find the space for that part of my being!<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">Do you think <span class="il">creativity</span> is important as a mom? Why or why not? </span></b><br />
Wow. Loaded question. <span class="il">Creativity</span> is important as a mom because you certainly need to be <span class="il">creative</span> to get through parenting alive and well! But, finding time to be <span class="il">creative</span> as a mom can be challenging depending on your organization skills (mine need polishing!) and how you tackle that <span class="il">creative</span> urge. You can craft with your kids, you can bake beautiful birthday cakes each year...but if your <span class="il">creative</span>
urge is to lock yourself in your craft room and sew, you can end up
having to bottle that urge. So, yes, it's very important to be <span class="il">creative</span>
if you have an inner urge to do so, because it's what makes some of us
feel whole and complete. Finding time to be whole and complete as a mom
is probably another blog post though!!<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>What is a time in your life when you felt most fulfilled
<span class="il">creatively</span>?</b></span><br />
I would have to go back to the shop again, citing that time of my life as the MOST <span class="il">CREATIVE</span>
and FULFILLED I've been in a very long time. I was building a life
inside me, building a family, and building a space in my community
inspired by my own upbringing and love for textiles and natural child
rearing.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I was building a life
inside me, building a family, and building a space in my community
inspired by my own upbringing and love for textiles and natural child
rearing.</span></b></span></span></blockquote>
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>How did time or energy for <span class="il">creativity</span> change after you
became a mom?</b></span><br />
As the children increased, the energy decreased and the
time for <span class="il">creativity</span> seemed to dwindle. I became cranky! I found that it's all part of finding my center. If <span class="il">creativity</span> is important to me--is part of the definition of me--then I guess I better become more organized, more <span class="il">CREATIVE</span> in finding the time to exercise that <span class="il">creativity</span>.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">Do you ever feel guilty about making time for
<span class="il">creativity</span>? How do you cope with that?</span></b><br />
I do not hold guilt over this, no. I have
frustrations, when the time feels nearly impossible to find, but guilt
doesn't come into play for me. My husband loves to ski, to bike. Now
that we are a family of four with a house, two jobs (one being a
business I own and run), and a home-schooled child, we have to work a
lot harder to find time to do those things that made us who we were
before marriage, before kids. So we might get frustrated and agitated,
but I never push guilt on him when he needs to take off and go ski. And
- when I have the energy! -I lock myself in my sewing room, completely guilt free.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">Have you ever felt pressured to express <span class="il">creativity</span> <i>in exactly the same way</i> as some other
mom (maybe a friend or a mom on Pinterest or a blog)? In what way?
Have you found any ways to get past these pressures? How?</span></b><br />
Probably not, because art and expression have been
a part of my life since day one. I always feel like I am in good
company when I meet other moms who have a flair for creating things--whether it's clay or fabric or cake! Art has always been something that
comes from inside for me. I can't make my insides match another
mom's insides and that really isn't the point, is it? Art is unique by nature. Pinterest is great eye candy, but, truthfully, taking any
more than an inspiration away from it can make you feel like a
failure--and that really nixes <span class="il">creativity</span>!<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">Have you found any ways to use your <span class="il">creative</span> skills <i>with </i>your kids?</span></b><br />
Truth telling time. I really like to be independent in my <span class="il">creativity</span>,
so for me it's never expressed itself as sitting down with my girls
for craft hour. Eden is still too young, but is very happy with paper
and crayons. In fact, she is very <span class="il">creative</span> herself with story
telling, drawings, facial expressions! Clarise has taken to crafting
on her own. She loves to cut fabrics and sew tooth fairy pillows, doll
capes, you name it. Any new type of crafting she can imagine, she tries
her hand at. I love that my own <span class="il">creative</span> urges
are separate from hers. Even when she would like to be a part of what
I'm doing, it's a separate activity that she continues in her own time as
well.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>Tell us what you love about the unique ways you express
<span class="il">creativity</span>. </b></span><br />
Well that's something I've never really thought about - with not having <i>enough </i>time to be <span class="il">creative</span> these days! But I guess I would express how being <span class="il">creative</span> has transformed as I've transformed, with age and experience and wisdom. I am so very thankful that I was given the gift of <span class="il">creativity</span> and that I have the ability to find a variety of ways to express myself creatively when the urge hits. So even when I can't get into the sewing
room, I can sit down with a pencil and paper or I can tear a display
down at the shop and start fresh. Some days, it might be something as
lousy as a Facebook post that leaves me feeling expressed, and some days
that has to be enough<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>What advice would you give to a mom who feels that since
having kids, she has “lost herself”? </b></span><br />
Rant and rave about not having enough time for
yourself until your husband thinks you're crazy and hormonal. Fear and
survival mode will kick in for him and he'll offer to take the kids whenever
you need so you can make time for you! Kidding. Hopefully, it doesn't
have to go that route. Usually when it does, it's because we've ignored
ourselves for too long. And really, that is no one's fault but our
own. <br />
<br />
I think it's important to remember that finding "me time" is
something we have to pro-actively DO. Carve time out: go to the gym
and think, go to yoga, go to the library WITHOUT your kids (I know, who
does THAT?!). Go somewhere where you can be alone in your thoughts,
whether that is your Church, your closest coffee shop, or a hiking trail.
Remember what you used to love and try new things. Make yourself a
priority and re-connect with you. Ask your friends what they do,
because some of us don't like to go it alone. Putting our heads
together can bring really great ideas to the forefront. And once you
remember what it was that made you YOU or find something new that
strikes a nerve, put it on the calendar. And when it doesn't work out,
LET IT GO. And try again.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #0025fa;"><i><span style="color: black;"> </span></i></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">When it doesn't work out,
LET IT GO. And try again.</span></b></span></span></blockquote>
<br />
<span style="color: #0025fa;"><i><span style="color: black;">Jessica says: I'm a mom and many other things. I own a
downtown shop in Kalispell, MT (<a href="http://www.littlelocals.com/">Little Locals</a>) where I come to work as many days a week as I can, often
late, with two kids in tow and hopefully enough snacks to make it
through the day. My husband has to help us get out the door sometimes,
and sometimes he's already gone himself. We have great dreams and are
currently making the best of what we have. </span></i></span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-60431431942293143782013-10-14T08:54:00.002-07:002013-10-14T10:06:14.004-07:00Musical Mama: Emily Rice (MamaTalk: Creativity)<div class="im">
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<i>Emily Rice and I met one summer when we were both working as counselors at Riverside Bible Camp in Story City, IA (also known as one of the best summers of my life). We have continued our friendship through the years as we both got married, moved around, and had kids. Some days, I think we connected on Facebook around big ideas just to keep our minds active and to continue to have grown-up conversations. Emily is a gifted musician and one of the smartest people I know. She is also a strong Christian and no matter what the topic, she manages to bring insight and depth to conversation. I hope you enjoy her insights as we continue </i><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>What are your
primary outlets for creativity? Tell us a little about your background
and how you developed these creative skills.</b></span></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
It seems like my primary outlets for creativity are constantly changing. I am a pianist and music has been the longest and most consistent
outlet for creativity and also the one in which I am most accomplished. It's definitely the outlet that I am most emotionally invested in. In
consulting, I am paid to problem-solve creatively in specific situations,
to think creatively and consider multiple perspectives when forming
plans and strategies, and to take a basic framework of best practices
and use it to mold processes, procedures, and documents that are
appropriate for a particular business. This is the outlet that I find
most energizing. I also love to cook and I've found that eating
new foods while savoring the flavor can be a fulfilling creative
experience. Mostly, I love to learn and develop new skills to the point
that I can make those skills my own, and even teach them to another
person. I could say that the process of skill development is another
outlet for creativity and I exhibit this in different ways at different
times.</div>
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b><span style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Do you think creativity is important as a mom?</span><span style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"> </span><span style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Why or why not?</span></b></span><br />
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
Absolutely! I think an essential part of creativity is the ability to
withhold judgement on what something currently is, and instead look to
what that thing is becoming. It's what allows me to get through the
hours of repetitive practice that lead to muscle memory so that I can
focus on the more artistic aspects of preparing a piece of music, or to
trust that the lumpy mess that exists in the pan right after I pour
broth into a roux will eventually become a lovely gravy. It's also what
allows me to see some of the more frustrating aspects of my kids'
behaviors as opportunities to shape our relationship and their
characters. Some days, we are right in that lumpy mess stage, and if I
hadn't had the experience of seeing something messy through to fruition,
I might be concerned that the selfish, opinionated, short-tempered
person who is screaming random demands at the top of her lungs would
never become a responsible, caring member of society. But I know that
sometimes the mess is part of the process, so I'm able to see that she's
trying to learn to express her opinions and her emotions appropriately,
but gets overwhelmed. It's frustrating to need to have enough
perspective for both of us, but creativity definitely helps with that,
too. I think most of my perspective comes from creative endeavors; the
process of creating and becoming and trying things out is probably the
most concrete experience I have of God's grace, and the ability to
recognize that something isn't what it's meant to be, while recognizing
it's value and ability to become something more than it's current state,
is really the core of my understanding of sanctification. When it comes
down to it, my relationship with God and understanding of His character
is the single most important thing that impacts my parenting, and
creativity is the biggest facilitator of that for me. It's what allows
me to integrate all the knowledge I gain from Bible Study into something
that is more real than words.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">I know that
sometimes the mess is part of the process.</span></b></span></span></blockquote>
</div>
<br />
<div class="im">
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>What is a time in your life when you felt most fulfilled creatively?</b></span></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
College
was an amazing time for me. I was able to be involved in a lot of
different types of music, was in a leadership development program that
allowed me to mentor other leaders on campus, was in a lot of
collaborative teams, had time for knitting and crafting with friends of
mine, and had opportunities to try new things and hear new ideas
constantly. It was also the time when I was most challenged to integrate
the lessons I was learning in a variety of fields into something
comprehensive. I would learn things that seemed to contradict one
another, and I felt compelled to find a way to fit them together. It
shaped my view of problem-solving immensely, and it seemed like the
whole world of ideas opened up and became a place to explore and move
and create. At some point, contradiction stopped seeming like a problem
to me and started to seem like an opportunity to better understand
God's view of the world.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="color: #660000;"><b>At some point, contradiction stopped seeming like a problem
to me and started to seem like an opportunity to better understand
God's view of the world.</b></span></span></span></blockquote>
</div>
<div class="im">
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>How did time or energy for creativity change after you became a mom?</b></span></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
With
my oldest daughter, I had a C-section, which made it impossible for me
to play piano at all for several weeks, and I couldn't play anything
above an elementary level for about 6 months. Then I got pregnant again
when she was less than a year old, so by the time my 2nd daughter was
born, my core strength was all but gone. 18 months after her birth, I
have rebuilt a lot of my strength (due in large part to working with
a personal trainer for several months). I can now practice for a
substantive period of time and am rebuilding my technique. I really
feel like physically I am starting from the ground up, even though I
have a very advanced knowledge of what I'm doing and have had muscle
memory of the pieces I'm practicing. It's more frustrating than
fulfilling at this point, but I have times when I get into the flow of
practice and feel like I'm making progress.</div>
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
I changed my
whole work schedule once my oldest was born and spent a lot more time
alone with her, so it seemed like I had both more <i>and</i>
less time, but never time and energy <i>at the same time</i>.
That's when I really started exploring using cooking as an outlet for
creativity: I needed to do it anyway and had carved out time for it. I
began knitting after the baby was asleep; I could just veg in front of the TV and still feel that I was
accomplishing something. I guess I ended up <i>being creative about ways to
express my creativity</i>.<br />
<br />
Once I started working again, I found that I was
really taxing my energy for creativity. I think that creating your own
job from scratch requires a lot of energy in general, but even more so
when you have "mommy brain." Creative thought took so much longer after I
had kids, and I struggled a lot with blaming myself for not being as
sharp as I was before. I'm getting quicker again now that both kids
sleep consistently through the night, but it has been a long road. I
think the real irony of having energy for creativity is that you don't
have any until you get into the flow of being creative, and creating
space for that flow saps your energy. You have to be willing to be at
a deficit for a while, knowing that the pay-off will be greater.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>I
think the real irony of having energy for creativity is that you don't
have any until you get into the flow of being creative, and creating
space for that flow saps your energy. You have to be willing to be at
a deficit for a while, knowing that the pay-off will be greater.</b></span></span></span></blockquote>
</div>
<div class="im">
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>Do you ever feel guilty about making time for creativity? How do you cope with that?</b></span></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
I
feel less guilty as my children get older and more independent in their
own creative pursuits. I used to feel like I had to limit my creative
time to when the kids were asleep and be available for them at all
times. Now, I recognize the value of them having independent time. They
need time for me to be really present with them and to interact with
them, but they also need time when I am "absent" in a safe way so that
they can start to solve problems for themselves and feel confident in
their own abilities. I feel a lot less guilty if I'm including my kids
in what I'm doing, but that time ends up being less creative for me,
even though it is still an outlet.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="im">
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>Have you ever felt pressured to express creativity <i>in exactly the same way</i> as
some other mom (maybe a friend or a mom on Pinterest or a blog)? In
what way? Have you found any ways to get past these pressures? How?</b></span></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
I have a
lot of friends who are writers, who have blogs or use writing in other
ways. That's not me, but because I work with ideas and using information
in new ways and because I like to talk about my projects and what I'm
learning, people often suggest that I start writing. When I'm focused I
write very well and I have always written as part of my career, but it's
not a fulfilling creative outlet for me.<br />
<br />
I have a lot of creative skills
that I don't necessarily feel are <i>primary</i> expressions of my own
creativity and over time I've become a lot better at knowing the
difference between the things I'm good at versus the things I'm gifted
with. I'm a gifted musician: I connect with the music that I'm playing
and can pass that connection on to those who are listening, and I find
that connection to be an essential part of my skill as a musician. I'm a
good writer, but I don't feel the same connection to the readers of my
written words as I do to the listeners of my music, or the people who
eat my food, or the clients that I work with.<br />
<br />
I often feel pressure to
produce more in my creative endeavors, because I see what five different
people are doing and feel that I should be doing all five of those
things. I have always had difficulty truly resting in the fact that I
don't have to do everything myself. I love the imagery of the Church as
a body because it's a reminder that I don't have to be good at
everything, but also a reminder that I can do different things at
different times. If I am a hand, I can pick something up, or play a
tune, or comfort a child, but I can't do all those things at once. I can
drive my self crazy trying, but at least I'm getting better at
realizing that I'm judging myself too harshly.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="color: #660000;">I often feel pressure to
produce more in my creative endeavors, because I see what five different
people are doing and feel that I should be doing all five of those
things. </span></span></b></span></blockquote>
</div>
<div class="im">
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>Have you found any ways to use your creative skills <i>with </i>your kids?</b></span></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
My oldest daughter loves to cook with me and, no matter what I'm
making, there's almost always a job that she can do. She is adventurous
with her flavors, too. One day she asked for a grilled peanut butter,
jelly, and pepper jack cheese sandwich. I thought it sounded crazy, but
we made it anyway and it was delicious!<br />
<br />
Both my kids like music. When I was first starting to get back into
practicing, I would put my oldest in one of those jumpers that you hang
from the doorway, and she would jump and dance while I played. We have a
lot of instruments around the house, and we play them almost every day.
We sing songs about everything, which is a great way to get kids to
cooperate. Mary Poppins was right when she said that songs make chores a
game.</div>
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
I also love that music is a physical endeavor, because it gives me a way
to talk to my girls about exercise and eating healthy and stewardship
of our bodies that isn't about appearances or skinniness or fitting into
some preconceived notion of beauty, but instead is a narrative about
strength, and joy, and creating something beautiful.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="color: #660000;">I also love that music is a physical endeavor, because it gives me a way
to talk to my girls about exercise and eating healthy and stewardship
of our bodies that isn't about appearances or skinniness or fitting into
some preconceived notion of beauty, but instead is a narrative about
strength, and joy, and creating something beautiful.</span></span></span></b></blockquote>
</div>
<div class="im">
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>Tell us what you love about the unique ways you express creativity.</b> </span></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
Because
a lot of my creativity is based on thinking about things differently,
anything can be a source of creative inspiration. I especially love
using problems or difficult information as a source of inspiration;
there is nothing as invigorating as coming into a meeting with people
who think they have an insurmountable problem and finding a way for
everyone to get what they need.</div>
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
Music is a
different type of love. It is the perfect marriage of something that
challenges my mind and my heart. I love that I can sit down with a piece
of music that I've never played and analyze the notes on the page and
see beauty in that organization before I hear anything. I love that
music can express every thought and feeling and prayer, often without
any words. When I don't know what I need or want, when I feel adrift, I
can pick up a book and find a song that has what I need, and I can know
myself better in the process. It is the primary means by which God
reveals myself to me, and by which I can be totally vulnerable with God
and others.</div>
<div class="im">
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<b>
<span style="color: #660000;"> </span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">What advice would you give to a mom who feels that since having kids, she has “lost herself”?</span></b></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
Start
small. Find one thing that you can do in a short amount of time to get
the ball rolling. For me, it was taking care of my nails again. As a
pianist, I had to keep my nails trimmed, so the routine of filing my
nails and putting lotion on my hands was a small way for me to begin
reconnecting with that part of myself. Maybe you have a routine that you
used to do when preparing to be creative - pick one part of that
routine and start incorporating that into your life again.<br />
<br />
Let go of the need to produce anything, at least for a while. If you
only have ten minutes, do what you can in ten minutes, and then set it
aside. Creativity is like a muscle that needs to be exercised and it
might not work in exactly the same way once you have kids, so be
gracious with yourself as you re-learn your own method of expressing
yourself.</div>
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE4rFswPxkn2wrd4liYPSRksVRXSRzysrKHLv6hKu9hM002W0NXQ1WV0-uYdby3_UXkSz9468uyYvtGo9I54k9bQJl2Vq8WU-2INTTk2C7nab6NJmstYHW38JXy-H2CNBU-NU8kIYRrTeg/s1600/EmilyHeadshot.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE4rFswPxkn2wrd4liYPSRksVRXSRzysrKHLv6hKu9hM002W0NXQ1WV0-uYdby3_UXkSz9468uyYvtGo9I54k9bQJl2Vq8WU-2INTTk2C7nab6NJmstYHW38JXy-H2CNBU-NU8kIYRrTeg/s200/EmilyHeadshot.JPG" title=" " width="149" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<i>Emily lives in West Des Moines, Iowa, with her husband, two daughters (3
and 1), and cat. She's in the midst of a one year hiatus from working
outside the home to help her family transition through a move from the
rust belt to the Bible belt. She will know she was successful when there
is art on the walls.</i></div>
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Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-24632548193243513542013-10-08T14:15:00.002-07:002013-10-08T14:18:19.508-07:00Just Because It's Beautiful (MamaTalk: Creativity)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicgpR-g_ZOeP-SSg0r2k7WZpBf4GMVftwpTvmsqf5HN3HbuH1FSDaPa_8R5gb_piL2934MyYcQ4dwoKV21cjqM9KByq9vkvaCo7U_rSmG0athwivEfXRThu-W3KZlvEFPq3bMuWNduTbNM/s1600/DSCN0599.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicgpR-g_ZOeP-SSg0r2k7WZpBf4GMVftwpTvmsqf5HN3HbuH1FSDaPa_8R5gb_piL2934MyYcQ4dwoKV21cjqM9KByq9vkvaCo7U_rSmG0athwivEfXRThu-W3KZlvEFPq3bMuWNduTbNM/s400/DSCN0599.JPG" title=" " width="400" /></a></div>
Did you know that when God created the world, He created some things for no other reason than <i>simply because they were beautiful</i>?<br />
<br />
This idea just hit me between the eyes recently as I studied Genesis 2:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><span class="versetext" id="ge2-9" style="display: inline;">And the LORD God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground--trees<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="19"></a> that were <b>pleasing to the eye</b> and good for food </span></i><span class="versetext" id="ge2-9" style="display: inline;">(verse 9, NIV).</span><i><span class="versetext" id="ge2-9" style="display: inline;"><br /></span></i></blockquote>
We live in a world that seems increasingly driven towards the utilitarian, the profit-driven, the desire to have and consume. And it's not that those elements of life don't have their place. They do. You can love art all you want, but you still gotta eat. <br />
<br />
But when pursuit of profit and utilitarianism becomes the sole focus on life, I think something in the human soul dies. Because that's not how God created us. God created us to cultivate and enjoy beauty. Beauty is very important to God. So is variety. Have you ever stopped to consider that God could have created all food to taste exactly the same? It all could have tasted like gruel. We could have had gray gruel trees. It could have all had the same consistency. But just stop and consider the multitudes of varieties of produce alone around the world. There are fruits and vegetables in certain corners of the world that I have never even heard of! And not only are there tons of varieties of food created for us to enjoy, but there are also infinite ways humans combine these ingredients. There are endless new ideas for new texture and flavor. And food doesn't fill the belly. God made it to be delicious!<br />
<br />
God is not a boring God. He is not a utilitarian God. Sometimes I think of Him this way, though. Sometimes I think He just wants me to dot the <i>i's</i> and cross the <i>t's</i>. Sometimes I think He wants me to just be a good girl and follow all the rules and that that is all there is to my relationship with Him. But there is something soul-destroying about thinking of God that way, just as there would be if I thought of my husband that way.<br />
<br />
The arts (all other arenas of creativity as well) are the doorway to seeing God as more than a utilitarian God. They are the doorway to passion in life and passion in our relationship with God. To see God's marvelous creation, so much of it created <i>simply for the sake of beauty</i>, lets us in on a secret: our God is a beautiful God, a splendid God, and the number one Fan of art and beauty and creativity. When we are creative, when we harness our skills in our little corner of the universe, we fulfill our creative design. We live out what it means to be created in the image of God.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="versetext" id="ge1-27" style="display: inline;"><span class="versenum"></span><i>So God created<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="73"></a> man<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="74"></a> in his own image,<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="75"></a> in the image of God<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="76"></a> he created him; male and female<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="77"></a> he created them.<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="78"></a> </i></span><i><span class="versetext" id="ge1-28" style="display: inline;"><span class="versenum"></span>God blessed them and said to them,<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="79"></a> "Be fruitful and increase in number;<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="80"></a> fill the earth<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="81"></a> and subdue it. Rule over<a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" name="82"></a> the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground"
</span></i><span class="versetext" id="ge1-28" style="display: inline;">(Genesis 1:27-28, NIV).</span></blockquote>
To create beauty, meaning, life in our little corner of the world is to express the rulership to which God calls us. <br />
<br />
That's what <a href="http://flatheadmama.blogspot.com/search/label/mamatalk%3A%20creativity">MamaTalk: Creativity</a> is all about. My goal for this series is to see as moms how we can reflect the design of our Creator. Are you in?<br />
<br />
<a href="https://twitter.com/FlatheadMama">Join me on Twitter</a> and share your <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23MamaTalkCreativity&src=hash&f=realtime">#MamaTalkCreativity</a>!<br />
<br />
And by the way, if you're not a mama, I'd still like to hear from you! Most of my readers are moms or at least women, but there are some creative fellows among them as well! Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-89603241669201356692013-10-07T09:00:00.003-07:002013-10-14T08:55:03.888-07:00Writer, Crafter, Soapmaker: Dana Whitney (MamaTalk: Creativity)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<i>Today marks the start of my series, <a href="http://flatheadmama.blogspot.com/search/label/mamatalk%3A%20creativity">MamaTalk: Creativity</a>. In coming days, I will feature interviews with everyday moms who have found ways to cultivate creativity in the midst of the busyness of motherhood. My first interview is with my friend, <a href="http://triflesandtruffles.wordpress.com/">Dana Whitney</a>. She is hilarious, grounded, talented, and just darn good company. She's a Montana mom too and I think you're going to love her as much as I do. </i><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">What are your primary outlets for creativity? Tell us a little about
your background and how you developed these creative skills.</span></b><br />
I have always been pretty creative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I wrote my first book when I was six, my mom taught me to crochet and
sew when I was very young.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also used
to really enjoy drawing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could
actually draw better when I was a kid than I can now, because I used to work at
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The main ways I still create are
through writing, cooking and doing art or craft projects with my kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also think learning is a form of creativity,
because it allows you to create new knowledge and skills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got some books and taught myself how to
make soap a couple years ago, and I learned how to knit last winter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think my mom has always been a big influence
on my creativity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Crafts were encouraged
when I was growing up, and I’ve always enjoyed making things.<b><span style="color: #660000;"> </span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">Do you think creativity is important as a mom? Why or
why not?</span></b><br />
I think creativity is important as a person, whatever stage of life
you are in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Creativity in its many
forms is the spice of life; it adds interest and excitement to whatever it is
we do.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">What is a time in your life when you felt most fulfilled creatively?</span></b><br />
<br />
I guess most of the time I have felt fulfilled creatively.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The easier question is about when I <i>didn’t</i>
feel fulfilled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a job I didn’t
particularly like for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having
that job made me search out more creative outlets, but I felt frustrated, because
I was trying to find a way to turn one of my hobbies into a different job, and
none of the hobbies I had at the time were things I could turn into full time
employment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> <b><span style="color: #660000;"></span></b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">How did time or energy for creativity change after you became a mom?</span></b><br />
When my first child was born, I went from a full-time employee to a full-time mom over the course of a weekend, and, while I thought I was prepared to
take care of a baby, I wasn’t prepared to take care of my creative self.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having a child requires constant
vigilance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When they cry, you can’t say,
“Hold on, I’ll be there in an hour.” And as they get older and start walking, it
only gets tougher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t realize how
mentally tiring it is to be on alert 24 hours a day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I was working, I had less time for
hobbies and creativity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, as long as
I had a job I liked, I was fine with that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Cooking something new for dinner,baking, sewing, or crocheting
once in a while was enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once I was
home all the time, with very little human interaction for a big part of the
day, I needed more, but some of my creative pursuits required more focus than I
thought I could give them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Turns out I
just needed to manage my time better, but I didn’t realize that back then.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">Do you ever feel guilty about making time for creativity? How do you
cope with that?</span></b><br />
I don’t usually feel too guilty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do
a lot of my creative activities after the kids are in bed, or while they are
busy with other things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I feel
guilty about spending time away, like going to a two day writing conference,
but I know I’m a better, more relaxed parent when I have that creative
outlet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also think it’s good for the
kids to seem me as something other than the hired help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s good for kids to know that parents have
a life and interests outside of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s too much pressure on a kid to be to sole focus of the parent’s
life.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I know I’m a better, more relaxed parent when I have that creative
outlet. It’s too much pressure on a kid to be to sole focus of the parent’s
life.</span></span></span></b></blockquote>
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">Have you ever felt pressured to express creativity <i>in exactly the same
way</i> as some other mom (maybe a friend or a mom on Pinterest or a
blog)? In what way? Have you found any ways to get past these
pressures? How?</span></b><br />
I guess the closest I’ve come to feeling pressure is expecting my house to
be as clean as my mom’s after I got married.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I remember being very upset about my messy house and asking my mom how
she got Dad to help so much. She laughed and told me it took about 25 years
of training.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mostly I find inspiration
in the creativity of others, but I don’t try to copy it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone has their own specific skills and
interests and the way those skills and interests intersect will be different
for everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whenever I have tried to
copy someone else’s creativity it usually does not end well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m happier with the result if I put my own
spin on it.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">Have you found any ways to use your creative skills <i>with </i>your kids?</span></b><br />
I do craft projects with my kids: everything from coloring pages to simple
sewing projects to writing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My 9 year
old is writing a book. While he doesn’t want me to help write it, I do help
with some of the typing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve also
written magazine articles about kid projects, so my kids get to try out the
projects first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve learned to try to let
them take the lead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of the time, if
I come up with a really great project, explain it and try to get them to do it,
they are not interested.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I just start
something I enjoy, frequently they’ll come over and ask questions and start
their own version, which will be entirely different from mine (and that's a good
thing!).<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #660000;">Tell us what you love about the unique ways you express creativity. </span></b><br />
I love that they are mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I
knit the same way anyone else would, the patterns and colors I choose make the
project mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I use the same 26 letters
in my writing, but the way I put them together is mine. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #660000;">I use the same 26 letters
in my writing, but the way I put them together is mine. </span></b></span></span></blockquote>
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><b>What advice would you give to a mom who feels that since having kids, she
has “lost herself”? </b></span><br />
You’re the one who lost herself, you’re the one who has to find herself, and no
one can do it for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having kids is
your life now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t try to find
yourself away from your family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
tempting to search for time away and carve out time for yourself without your
family around, and sometimes that is important.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But, remember, your family is part of who you are too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember to enjoy them, even (or maybe
especially) when you don’t want to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look
for the joy in the everyday moments with your family, because joy gets bigger
when it is shared.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmE9grIVsEHA3WScPz6mIutRgaxRu-EJtLNapvT8XZL_phyfCW12uYtD2YZESlM1XxsVq-iCbDrh45amLd80UMRi2rqeXURfYEnsDwIizfIXF9XYn6EoBVpKBLkgvkDiphp_gBsGu-KHeP/s1600/DanaHeadshot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmE9grIVsEHA3WScPz6mIutRgaxRu-EJtLNapvT8XZL_phyfCW12uYtD2YZESlM1XxsVq-iCbDrh45amLd80UMRi2rqeXURfYEnsDwIizfIXF9XYn6EoBVpKBLkgvkDiphp_gBsGu-KHeP/s200/DanaHeadshot.jpg" title="" width="200" /></a></div>
<i>Dana
Whitney writes in Northwest Montana where she
lives with her handsome husband, two above average children, and one below
average dog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her hobbies include
gardening, canning, knitting, soap making, beekeeping and pretty much anything
that helps her avoid doing laundry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
can follow her blog at: <span style="color: #660000;"><a href="http://triflesandtruffles.wordpress.com/">http://triflesandtruffles.wordpress.com/</a></span></i><br />
<span style="color: #660000;">
</span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-5420248658806987172013-09-30T09:35:00.000-07:002013-10-07T09:01:59.971-07:00Mama Talk: Creativity (A Prelude)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Fingers trembling with joy, I sat down at the computer that September morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It wasn’t just the cups of coffee I’d been drinking; this exhilarating feeling
was coming from somewhere deeper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
baby was laying down for a long nap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
daughter had just headed off for her first morning back at preschool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I had TIME.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And ENERGY.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And my HEALTH.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was going to
write!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I flipped on my “Fun. Radio” Pandora station and started to type.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had missed this so much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It seemed that just as soon as I hit my stride with blogging and editing a few years ago, I got
pregnant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t do pregnant so
well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was nauseous and I kept getting
sick. I was tired and distracted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I kept forgetting things that I’d normally be on top of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I finally gave up on blogging and writing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It just wasn’t in me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was my year of fog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then the baby was born and, well, you know how new
babies are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you can manage to get
enough sleep while caring for them, then basically you are rocking the
world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s no time or energy for
creative pursuits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When the baby was about six months old, I was still in my slump
and was beginning to think I was never going to accomplish anything beyond
laundry, diaper changing, nursing and sometimes cooking dinner from scratch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I guess technically, caring and feeding for another human is creative, but sometimes it doesn't feel that way.) Thanks to my friends and my family, I got
through a couple of bad months of depression.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then the golden intersection of preschool mornings and
baby naps hit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suddenly this non-morning
person was up and at ‘em, getting showered and dressed, and dreaming of what to
do with the time that was suddenly available.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am coming to realize that I need creativity in my
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need it badly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I am creative, I begin to glow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seriously. I get filled up with joy and it
can’t help but spill out on my family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Instead of being <i>less than</i> as a mom, I am <i>more</i>!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, there are times when creativity is
not possible, but I am finding that it’s important to accept that fact and then get
back to creativity as soon as I can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because
feeling alive and whole is contagious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My family can’t help but catch it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes the problem with creativity is that we feel
pressured to be creative in the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">same </i>way
that other moms are creative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We feel
that we should all be like moms on Pinterest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We feel that we should all be good at crafts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Maybe our creative corner of the world looks really different than other
moms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe we never even saw it as
creative.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it’s what makes us
ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Personally, I think being
creative in a totally different way is what makes us moms interesting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my small group right now, we are studying Genesis and
lately I’ve been so struck by how all of us as human beings are made in God’s
image.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that there are many
elements to being made in God’s image, but one of the biggees is that God made
each of us creative beings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, we can’t
create <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ex nihilo </i>(out of nothing)
like God can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God took <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nothing </i>and made <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">something</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can only take
stuff that’s already here and make something new out of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But when we do that, we reflect our
Creator.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that’s where the joy
comes from.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe for some of us, it’s computer code.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe for others it’s pursuing health and
wholeness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe some sew or or knit or craft.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Others may love to create culinary
masterpieces.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some may love to
write.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some may paint or sketch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some may homeschool their kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some may be engineers or architects.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are so many ways to be creative and
make something new out of what we’ve been given in this beautiful world.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the coming weeks, I’m going to be interviewing several
ladies who I admire for their creativity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are all moms and they are all creative in all kinds of unique, awesome
ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re going to call it <span style="color: #660000;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">“MamaTalk: Creativity.”</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope you’ll read and comment and put in your
own two cents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope you’ll share and
help us the myriad of ways we moms are able to reflect our Creator.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I hope that if you are having a hard time
finding your joy or the reason why you should even make the time for it, you
will feel freshly inspired and encouraged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I hope you will find the time to carve out for being creative—for your
family, for God, for you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hang on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s going
to be a creatively awesome ride!</div>
Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-86881295870399458522013-09-13T09:26:00.000-07:002013-09-13T09:36:03.455-07:00The West Wing and the Portrayal of Women on TVImagine with me for a moment that when we sat down to watch television with our sons and our daughters, what we saw when women were portrayed were competent, smart women accomplishing important things and keeping their clothes on. What would that be like?<br />
<br />
I've spent the past few months watching through all seven seasons of NBC's <i>The West Wing </i>on my Amazon Prime streaming service. As I have done so, I have been struck by the different way women are treated on this show as opposed to virtually any other show on TV, past or present.<br />
<br />
One of the earliest episodes in Season 1 is called, "These Crackpots and These Women." In this episode, three of the high-powered male characters stand at a cocktail party and admiringly watch the strong, capable, smart women with whom they serve and comment on their inner qualities instead of the size of their breasts or rating their prowess in bed. At one point, the chief of staff comments on one woman staffer who is "going punch for
punch with Toby in a world that tells women to sit down and shut up." By and large, this conversation among the male staffers summarizes the basic attitude toward women on the show. You rarely see women sexualized, women are always portrayed as strong people with brains who have things to say, and women virtually always have their clothes on (and their clothes tend to be business suits or classy, sophisticated evening gowns). This is the TV show I want my daughter to watch. In fact, this is the TV show I want my son to watch. I want them to see how smart and capable women are, how wonderful it is when the two genders work together to accomplish goals. I want my daughter to see that she is more than beauty (although she is that), but she is also a smart person, a serious person.<br />
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As I have found myself steeped deeply in <i>The West Wing </i>these past months, I have become very aware of how terribly women are treated on most other shows. On most shows, women exist for men in some way. Women are merely sex objects, bodies, for the consumption and pleasure of others. Women are taught (Miley Cyrus, anyone?) that the more outrageous the spectacle of their nakedness and sexuality is, the more fame they will be awarded and the higher they will climb in achievement.<br />
<br />
This point was underlined in a New York Times article by Jodi Kantor this Sunday, <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/08/education/harvard-case-study-gender-equity.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0&smid=pl-share">"Harvard Business School Case Study: Gender Equity."</a><br />
<br />
In even such a venerable school as the Harvard Business School, women are often silenced and relegated to being sex objects. Kantor writes: "Yet many Wall Street-hardened women confided that Harvard was worse than
any trading floor, with first-year students divided into sections that
took all their classes together and often developed the overheated
dynamics of reality shows. Some male students, many with finance
backgrounds, commandeered classroom discussions and <a href="http://www.inc.com/magazine/19980601/940.html">hazed</a>
female students and younger faculty members, and openly ruminated on
whom they would 'kill, sleep with or marry' (in cruder terms).
Alcohol-soaked social events could be worse." This from a so-called "serious school"! If Harvard fares this way, what hope the rest of the world? The article goes on to detail the ways in which the leadership of the school is trying to upend the social system that makes such an environment possible. They have made some modest gains and I hope they will continue their good work.<br />
<br />
Sex is a part of life. But is it <i>all</i> there is to life? Has our culture become so saturated in a sexualized way of approaching women that we can no longer view them as real people with an important perspective to share? As serious leaders? As intelligent agents of change, hope and purpose? I've begun to ask these questions even more after watching the eye-opening (and sometimes graphic) documentary <i>Miss Representation </i>(available on <a href="http://www.netflix.com/">Netflix</a> streaming currently). Jennifer Siebel put this film together because of her deep concerns for her daughter as she looked at the way women were treated in the media. She realized how powerful the images we see day after day on our screens can be to us. She wanted to challenge the norms and raise a clarion call for higher standards. She also wanted to challenge us all to consider what the media norms for the portrayal of women say to our culture about women in leadership. Do they keep us from taking women in leadership seriously? How can we change that?<br />
<br />
I find myself wondering, with Siebel, not only how the media affects my daughter's body image and self esteem but also how it impacts what she wants to do with her life and whether she feels that she can be taken seriously in a world that talks more about Hillary Clinton's pantsuits and Sarah Palin's beauty queen looks than the substance of their arguments. And I wonder how the media impacts the experiences of women in ministry too. I was once a woman in pastoral leadership. Did the men who I led see me as a serious person with intelligence and serious thoughts? Or did they see me as a girl who needed to keep house, look pretty and leave the serious thoughts to the boys? If I had to guess, I'd say that I think that there were probably some of both mindsets.<br />
<br />
I don't know exactly what we do to change things. But I have a couple of goals for my daughter and son as I seek to shape their view of women. First of all, I hope to encourage them to view worthy, edifying television and movies. Although I will seek age-appropriate viewing, this does not mean that I will look for what is the most squeaky-clean as my only concern but rather that I will look for media to consume that uplifts worthy values and worthy people, that shows the consequences of bad choices, and that stirs imagination and thought. I will also hope to seek out projects that give a positive view of women. Secondly, I hope to engage my kids in discussion about what we see on the screen. We won't always agree with everything we see and I don't believe in throwing out the baby with the bathwater. If the majority of a show is good, I won't abandon it because of one distasteful element. But I <i>will </i>(and already do) talk to my kids about what we see, what is worthy, what is not, and why. I will teach them to analyze what they see instead of just accepting it whole-sale.<br />
<br />
And I will hope for many more worthy television programs like <i>The West Wing.</i><br />
<br />
What about you? How do you navigate the challenges of media and the portrayal of women with your kids? What shows or movies have you found to be especially worthy and edifying?<i> </i>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-65048205315754965562013-09-06T08:43:00.003-07:002013-09-06T08:43:27.148-07:00Healthy, Quick School Night DinnersWell, hello there! I'm back! Now that my daughter has returned to preschool and my baby boy has begun some wonderful mega naps, I am finding myself with the time to do some writing again! I simply could not be more excited if I tried!<br />
<br />
So on Facebook I keep hearing the exhausted mama refrain, "What the heck do you make for the kiddos to eat on school nights? I need ideas for healthy, quick menus that my kids will eat!"<br />
<br />
It IS hard to come up with good ideas for busy nights. Mamas, I've got your back. Here are some ideas that are favorites around here:<br />
<br />
--<b>Make-your-own-pizza bar.</b> Costco carries a great cheap pizza pack from Boboli in their bread aisle. It has eight mini pizza crusts and sauce packets. You get to customize your pizza any way you'd like. I like to lay out a variety of veggies along with the usual meats and cheeses. I suggest green pepper, onion, garlic, avocado, sliced tomato, spinach, olives, even broccoli. For meats, you can use pepperoni, salami, pre-cooked chicken breast, even shredded pork (with BBQ sauce, of course!). You can add extras like sun-dried tomatoes, basil, or cilantro if you want to. You can do the standard shredded mozzarella for the cheese, but you could also get creative and try something like blue cheese or feta. Some friends of ours had us over for dinner, did this pizza bar idea and then grilled the pizzas on their BBQ grill. What a great idea! Your very own pizza oven! You have to watch your pizzas carefully so that the bottom does not burn but it really is a fun and easy way to get dinner DONE! And the great thing about make-your-own pizzas is that kids are so much more likely to actually EAT a creation that they helped make!<br />
<br />
--<b>Asian noodles with stir-fried veggies.</b> Boil your noodles in one pot, stir-fry your veggies in another (I use extra virgin olive oil), and whisk your sauce in a saucepan on the side. Then toss everything together at the end. I use whole wheat spaghetti but you could also use regular spaghetti, udon noodles or rice noodles. You can use either a teriyaki sauce <a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-specials/teriyaki-sauce-recipe/index.html">like this one</a> or a <a href="http://flatheadmama.blogspot.com/2011/02/peanut-noodles-and-new-mother.html">peanut sauce</a>. I even adapt a separate version of a peanut sauce to be unspicy for my daughter (I just use whisk water or chicken broth, soy sauce and peanut butter in a saucepan over medium heat until smooth). The magical thing about this recipe is that you can use ANY veggies you have in the fridge! It's a great way to use up extras and leftovers. I have used broccoli, kale, spinach, sliced carrots, peppers, zucchini. The sky is the limit! Top with peanuts, green onions, cilantro and (for the spicy palate) Sriracha. Yum!<br />
<br />
--<b>Homemade mac and cheese with veggies and ham.</b> You can find my super-duper EASY recipe for homemade stove-top mac and cheese <a href="http://flatheadmama.blogspot.com/2013/03/never-feed-your-kids-processed-mac-and.html">here</a>. Once you have tossed the pasta with the sauce, add peas, broccoli, carrots or whatever your kids like. You can also add cubed ham or pre-cooked chicken to add some protein.<br />
<br />
And...check out <a href="http://flatheadmama.blogspot.com/2011/06/how-to-avoid-5-oclock-dinner-panic.html">this post</a> on how to avoid the five o'clock dinner panic! <br />
<br />
Those are three of my top ideas! What is your favorite go-to for a quick, healthy meal that the kids will actually eat?Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-70656395380522635332013-05-08T09:29:00.001-07:002013-05-08T09:30:11.473-07:00We are Amanda BerryI've been thinking about it ever since the story broke on Monday. The story of three kidnapped women who were found after a decade in captivity when one of their number managed to escape and get help. And this is what I have been thinking: We <i>are</i> Amanda Berry. All of us. You and me. The story leaped off the screen at me. In it I heard the Christian story of redemption. The story that we get deadened to...not because we want to, but because we have heard it so many times that we forget what Christ has done for us.<br />
<br />
We were held captive for long years in the dungeon of the devil. His chains of lies and sin and brokenness and death held us. Whenever we sought freedom, he told us it was not for us. And then one day, we pierced through the screen door of evil and captivity (although in our case, we were not merely captive and therefore able to bring about our own rescue, but we were actually <i>dead </i>in our sins).<br />
<br />
The Holy Spirit pulled us through that screen door. He kicked it down and then He pulled us through. He yanked us out into the light of day, breathing breath into us, performing Holy Spirit CPR on our cold corpses. The warm sun fell on our back. We gasped for air and awoke. But we couldn't stop for a moment to relish our new freedom. "There are more captives!" we cried out. Now that we had been freed, we could not rest until they too were freed. We sent help. We sent rescuers after them. How could we rejoice in our freedom when others remained bound?<br />
<br />
And so they were freed just as we were. Hallelujah! And now, we are living a new life...a life that we dared not dream of in those long years of captivity.<br />
<br />
But the story isn't over. This isn't "happily ever after, roll the credits, please!" Much like the children of Israel, we are getting used to freedom these days. There are many days we huddle up in a fetal position, hiding, afraid, believing we are still captive. We spend a lot of time still believing the lies that held us captive. We forget to live into our new life, our new identity.<br />
<br />
We are <i>getting used</i> <i>to</i> redemption, getting used to new life, getting used to being free. There will be a lot of ups and downs in our journey of new life. But by the grace of God, we are freed to now live it.<br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Eph-5-8" id="en-NIV-29313">"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light."</span></span></span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Eph-5-8" id="en-NIV-29313">--Ephesians 5:8, NIV</span></span></span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Eph-5-8" id="en-NIV-29313">"</span><span class="text Col-1-13" id="en-NIV-29479">For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves,</span> <span class="text Col-1-14" id="en-NIV-29480"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."</span></span></span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="text Col-1-14" id="en-NIV-29480">--Colossians 1:13-14, NIV</span></span></span></i> <span class="text Eph-5-9" id="en-NIV-29314"></span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-66619333993141157512013-04-26T14:58:00.000-07:002013-04-26T14:58:45.880-07:00Book Review: What a Son Needs from His Mom<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">So, I had a baby boy four months ago. And this happening prompted the reflection: <i>What the heck do I know about boys?!</i> I knew there were a lot of things I could do wrong. I just didn't have any idea what the <i>right</i> things were to do as the mother of a little being so entirely different from me. Yes, love the little bugger. But <i>how</i>?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0764207091/?tag=flathe-20" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0764210300.01._SCL_SX150_.jpg" title=" " /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Just as I was in the midst of musing over these questions, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0764210300/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0764210300&linkCode=as2&tag=flathe-20">this book by Cheri Fuller</a> came before me for review. I immediately snatched up a review copy and read it quickly, underlining a lot. <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0764210300/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0764210300&linkCode=as2&tag=flathe-20">What a Son Needs from His Mom</a> </i>is a book chock-full of wisdom and good advice for moms who are raising sons.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">In this book, Fuller provides wisdom on topics as diverse as faith, confidence, communication, emotions, and school. She provides a lot of anecdotes from moms of boys, as well as comments and stories from the boys themselves on what their mothers did that was helpful or not helpful for them. Through her own journey as a mom to boys, Fuller helps moms understand how best to relate to a masculine personality. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Confidence and formation into a strong young man as the goal is a strong theme in this book. Fuller advises gradually releasing our sons and trusting them to make the right decision instead of overly controlling their decisions. Helpful to me was her discussion of how off-putting over-protection due to a mother's fears can be to sons and how it can undermine confidence as they grow and develop. I know this will be a battlefield for me and that I will need to work hard to combat my own fears and anxieties so that my boy can thrive and be the courageous young man God has created him to be. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">In one illustration, she shares about a friend who had a teenage son with whom she was experiencing friction. "He was becoming edgy, sharing less, and pulling away." However, "God showed Peggy that her son was the budding head of a new household. The season of God's nurturing John through her was coming to an end and a new season was beginning for him. It was no longer fitting for her to dominate this young man whom God was calling to be the eventual head of a new household." This was a really helpful insight for me. Granted, realizing when this stage has come to pass will require some careful discernment. But eventually my son will begin to take on a role of leadership as a man. He will probably have some growing pains as he comes into a new stage of life. But I will need to get out of the way as God begins to form him and to move him into this new stage.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">In the area of communication, Fuller provided a wonderful, helpful illustration: boys' "emotions and thoughts are a little like oatmeal. If you heat up a pot of oatmeal and it gets hotter and closer to a boil, bubbles come to the surface. In a similar way, as our sons get heated up through doing active things, their thoughts bubble up to the surface." Generally speaking, while girls may focus a lot on direct relationships and talking, boys focus on doing. I'll need to understand this major difference between the genders as I parent my son. In regards to communication, Fuller also recommends lecturing less but instead using stories, strong and succinct quotations, and the like to teach.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">In another part of the book, Fuller challenges moms to come up with five to eight core values that she hopes to instill in her son (this would be helpful for daughters as well!). Then, she encourages moms to look to the long-term plan to teach those values. It won't happen overnight but with steady effort, your child can come to know those all-important values.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">I do have only one real critique of this book. In the way in which Fuller describes the faith life of children, she seems to lean towards a view that a very young child cannot generally be saved and in possession of their own faith. I believe even very young children can have a saving knowledge of Christ. I wouldn't say that Fuller fully discounts this reality, but I think she leans slightly away from it. I'd like to see her embrace God's saving work in very young children more fully. However, this is a doctrinal matter that the reader can work through on their own. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Overall, this is an incredibly wise and beneficial book. I will be returning to it often as I raise my own little man.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><i>4 stars. Highly Recommended.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><i> <span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i> </i></span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><i><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>Disclosure of Material Connection: I received an advance digital copy of this book free from</i> Bethany House</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>. I was not required to write a positive review.
The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in
accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <<a href="http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html">http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html</a>> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”</i></span> </i></span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-82877221295219578752013-04-05T06:36:00.000-07:002013-04-05T06:36:57.200-07:00Why We Baptized Both Our Infants: Part 3<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47a3dd11b3127ccef2e9cd86096600000030O00BaOXDZu4YtQe3nwk/cC/f=0/ls=00501876894020130330221040854.JPG/ps=50/r=0/rx=550/ry=400/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="290" src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47a3dd11b3127ccef2e9cd86096600000030O00BaOXDZu4YtQe3nwk/cC/f=0/ls=00501876894020130330221040854.JPG/ps=50/r=0/rx=550/ry=400/" title=" " width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Bonnie Hoffman.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<i><span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;">Over the past few days, I've been sharing from my heart the reasons our family practices infant baptism, despite the fact that I grew up not believing in it. For the first two posts, click <a href="http://flatheadmama.blogspot.com/2013/04/why-we-baptized-both-our-infants-part-1.html">here</a> and <a href="http://flatheadmama.blogspot.com/2013/04/why-we-baptized-both-our-infants-part-2.html">here</a>.</span></i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;">Now, for <u><b>Part 3</b></u>: </span></i><br />
<span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;"> </span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;">Christopher and I baptized our daughter as a baby and will soon
baptize our son <b>because we want them to know beyond the shadow of a
doubt that the faith in their hearts is <i>God's</i> work and not their
own.</b> When they fall into doubts and questions of faith, we don't want them to analyze, "Did I really have ENOUGH faith"? We want them instead
to return to what God did for them when they were baptized. We want
them to remember that when they were helpless as infants, that is just
when the Holy Spirit dipped into their hearts and gave them the gift of
faith. <b>God is the subject of the sentence, not us.</b></span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;">We also
want them to know that because they are a part of this family, faith is
their heritage and birthright. We are a family who is "in Christ." <b>We
are together being made new.</b> The way we operate in our family is in
constantly seeking the Lord.</span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;">I pray
almost every day that God will continue to grow faith in my children's
hearts. Nothing in this world is more important than this.</span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;">So this
is the way we have chosen to pass on our faith to our kids: infant
baptism followed by discipleship and teaching. A lot of my friends
think differently. They feel a conviction that their kids need to say a
"Sinner's Prayer" and make a decision for Jesus. Either way, the good
news is that we are parents who want our kiddos to know and love God.
We want them to experience the blessing of salvation, the freedom of
life in Christ, the unmerited favor that God's grace provides. Some of
us will dunk our kids. Some of us will sprinkle them. Some of us will
encourage a choice for Christ. Some will emphasize Christ's choice for
us. Either way, we are united in the knowledge that faith comes from
the Holy Spirit alone (Ephesians 2:8-9). </span><br />
<br />
<span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;">Our
human language is so limited in trying to express the truths of
Scripture. That doesn't mean we shouldn't study the Word and <i>try </i>to understand its teaching. In fact, it is crucial that we do so. But
both Lutheran theology and evangelical theology will fall short at one
time or another. Whatever we call conversion, the Holy Spirit is the
One who gives faith and whenever people come to faith or deepen in their
faith, it's worth rejoicing about. I rejoice when people go forward at
altar calls. I rejoice when parents care enough about their kids to
dedicate or baptize them. If we are all centered on Jesus and on His
Word, how can we lose? My Bible study teacher said once (reflecting on
Paul's teaching in Romans) that we should not argue so much in the
Church on disputable matters such as all the minutiae about baptism.
She said, "Jesus said we should get baptized, so we should do that and
not argue about how and when and all that." I so appreciated that
sentiment and completely agree. </span><br />
<br />
So, when we
baptize our little Mr. Bean in a couple of weeks, this is why we are
doing it. But that baptism day is just the beginning. From then on, a
path of teaching and prayer remains. Hold us in prayer as we teach our
little ones just what faith in Jesus is all about. <i>Nothing</i> is more important.<br />
<br />
<span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;">3 John 4: "I </span><span class="versetext" id="3jo1-4" style="display: inline;">have no greater joy than to hear that my children<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6852205750171360137" name="4"></a> are walking in the truth" (NIV).</span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-34641054450406683232013-04-04T07:36:00.000-07:002013-04-06T20:42:33.036-07:00Why We Baptized Both Our Infants: Part 2<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47a3dd11b3127ccef2e83fc9291c00000030O00BaOXDZu4YtQe3nwk/cC/f=0/ls=00501876894020130330215342953.JPG/ps=50/r=0/rx=550/ry=400/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="290" src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47a3dd11b3127ccef2e83fc9291c00000030O00BaOXDZu4YtQe3nwk/cC/f=0/ls=00501876894020130330215342953.JPG/ps=50/r=0/rx=550/ry=400/" title=" " width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Allen Sorbo.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;"><i><a href="http://flatheadmama.blogspot.com/2013/04/why-we-baptized-both-our-infants-part-1.html">Yesterday</a>, I began a series on infant baptism and my faith story. </i></span><i>In a couple of weeks, we will be baptizing our little Mr. Bean. In
this series of three posts, I explain how I came to believe in and
practice infant baptism. I'd like to share our family's perspective
with friends and family, and I also hope this series will be something
Mr. Bean and Burrito will treasure when they get old enough to read it. </i><br />
<br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://flatheadmama.blogspot.com/2013/04/why-we-baptized-both-our-infants-part-1.html">When last we left our story</a>, my evangelical family had begun to attend a Lutheran church as I began my young adult years. Through my acquaintance with this church and the dedicated, faithful, and balanced pastors in it, I began to get really interested in Lutheran teaching and to study God's Word with it in mind. I also began
to study more about Martin Luther and to see myself in his story. His story of faith was so much
like my own. He was in bondage to attempting to follow God perfectly.
As I had begun growing into my teenage years, I had fallen into bondage
to this as well. I tried desperately to follow God perfectly but always
failed. I was becoming more and more wretched.</span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;">Martin
Luther's world changed when he encountered the truth that "the just
shall live by faith" in Habakkuk. He came to see that the only
righteousness that counts for anything is the righteousness that Christ
gives us. Christ takes on Himself all of our sin and brokenness and in
exchange, He gives us His righteousness, goodness, hope and life.
Luther was set free by this truth and little by little, it began to set
me free too. My local Lutheran church did powerful good for me socially
as well. My anxiety and depression had made me quite socially
awkward. Through my church, I had opportunities to serve and grow. It
was awesome.</span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;">And so, when
my pastor suggested I attend Lutheran seminary, I initially was
shocked. But later I decided to follow through on his advice and go. I
think there were times in seminary I operated with a little too much
"freedom in Christ." But I did receive good teaching on church history
and Lutheran history and theology. I came to understand the reason
behind the practice known as infant baptism. I attended worship class
where I learned how to conduct a Lutheran baptism (we practiced on a stuffed animal
duck). </span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;">I learned
that much of the teaching I received as I grew up focused on something
called "decision theology." Decision theology is the idea that while we
are saved through Christ alone, we also have a part to play in the
conversion process. This part is simply to say, "yes" or "no" to God's
free offer of salvation. There are definitely Biblical passages that
can be used to support this idea. But I also came to see that <b><i>sometimes
</i> decision theology can lean too hard on our human involvement and exalt
us more than God</b>. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;">One
of my professors in seminary, Dr. Paulson, taught that <b>we can only say
no to God</b>. We are dead in sin before Christ comes into our lives
(Romans 6). A dead person cannot raise themselves. They cannot make a
decision for Christ. They can only be raised by Someone from outside of
themselves. A baby is kind of like a dead person (except that they can
scream louder!). A baby can do absolutely nothing for him or herself.
They cannot change a diaper or feed themselves or bathe themselves.
They often cannot even get themselves to sleep. No, they need a mother
and a father to perform these crucial acts for them. Their parents help
to give them physical life and the baby completely relies on their
parents from day to day. We baptize babies, in part, because they
remind us of how completely helpless we all are and how reliant we all
are on God for salvation, life, and every other thing.</span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;">We also
baptize babies because in the New Testament, when a family would come to
faith in Christ, the whole family would get baptized. In fact, not
only would children and babies get baptized as a sign of the whole
family's conversion, but even slaves who were part of the household
would be baptized. <b>In American culture in particular, we think of
ourselves so individualistically, but in the world of the New Testament,
it wasn't so much that just an individual converted to faith (although
that certainly did happen) but families converted as well </b>(see Acts
10:44-48, 16:15, 16:31-33, 18:8). Think too of Joshua, who said, </span><span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;">"But as for me and my household,<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6852205750171360137" name="2"></a>
we will serve the LORD" (Joshua 24:15, NIV). As parents, we have a
profound influence on the faith of our children. God doesn't want us to
segment our faith from our children or to "let them decide what they
believe when they get older." He wants us to instill the faith which
the Holy Spirit has placed in our hearts in our children as well. </span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;"><b>I don't
want to convey the idea that there aren't times when I feel conflicted
about infant baptism, however</b>. As a young pastor, I did several
baptisms of babies and while there were spiritually engaged parents who
clearly planned to raise their children in the faith as they promised
during the baptism service, there were also parents who my gut told me
were baptizing their babies more to please an older relative. I
exhorted them strongly that they needed to keep the promises they made to God in the baptism service. In baptism the Holy Spirit brings faith into a person's heart. He
makes alive that which was dead. <b>But if the child who is baptized is
not taught the riches that they have been given, those riches go to
waste.</b> Sometimes I felt very conflicted about these infant baptisms.
But I also had to stop and remind myself that faith is not dependent on
human effort--not even on mom and dad's. It is dependent on God. I didn't want to penalize little children from the touch of God's grace on their lives just because mom and dad were not whole-heartedly following God. Also,
the whole church promises to uphold and welcome the child in faith. It
is <i>primarily</i> mom and dad's responsibility to help them grow, but it is
not <i>only</i> mom and dad's responsibility. These things help me as I think
about infant baptism. Still, given the chance in the future, I might
require more of the parents than I did in the past. </span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;">I am also
reminded that even in decision theology, sometimes people come forward
for altar calls and later fall away. People are caught up in the moment
and yet don't take it seriously. Or perhaps no one follows up with
them and helps them grow in faith. <b>In all segments of the church, we
can do more to shepherd and disciple those who are coming into the
family of faith.</b> It's all too easy to get caught up in the mountaintop
moment and then not endure to be there for a new faithling when the
going gets tough. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="versetext" id="jos24-15" style="display: inline;"><i>Stay tuned for the final part of the series, coming tomorrow!</i> </span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-87460892297892066952013-04-03T14:34:00.002-07:002013-04-03T14:35:59.660-07:00Why We Baptized Both Our Infants: Part 1<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47a3dd11b3127ccef2e8c54629ee00000030O00BaOXDZu4YtQe3nwk/cC/f=0/ls=00501876894020130330214513146.JPG/ps=50/r=0/rx=550/ry=400/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="232" src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47a3dd11b3127ccef2e8c54629ee00000030O00BaOXDZu4YtQe3nwk/cC/f=0/ls=00501876894020130330214513146.JPG/ps=50/r=0/rx=550/ry=400/" title=" " width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by Allen Sorbo.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<i>In a couple of weeks, we will be baptizing our little Mr. Bean. In this series of three posts, I explain how I came to believe in and practice infant baptism. I'd like to share our family's perspective with friends and family, and I also hope this series will be something Mr. Bean and Burrito will treasure when they get old enough to read it. </i><br />
<br />
I grew up evangelical and Pentecostal. As time has gone by, I've grown into a mixture of the riches of that upbringing combined with Lutheran theology (Lutheran teaching about God, faith, and the Bible).<br />
<br />
The spiritual riches of my upbringing meant that my mom made sure I had a devotion every day. I learned to read through the entire Bible and did so multiple times. Mom (and Dad, to a certain extent) made sure that God was a daily part of life. We didn't just pray at bedtime, but we prayed throughout the day. We memorized Scripture. We were given access to the stories of great Christians from history, particularly missionaries. These missionaries were our heroes. Mom was always looking for opportunities to teach my brother and I about faith. She firmly believed the words of Deuteronomy 6, "<span class="versetext" id="de6-6" style="display: inline;">These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6852205750171360137" name="13"></a> </span><span class="versetext" id="de6-7" style="display: inline;">Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home
and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6852205750171360137" name="14"></a> </span><span class="versetext" id="de6-8" style="display: inline;">Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6852205750171360137" name="15"></a> </span><span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;">Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates" (NIV). She believed that talk about God should not be relegated to the church building or to bedtime prayers. She believed we should talk about God all day, in the most natural way possible. Every interaction was an opportunity to teach about God. I recently told her that she taught me so well about God that there is no way I can get away from faith. <b>I don't hold onto faith. Faith holds onto me. Or, to be more precise: God holds onto me. </b></span><br />
<br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;">I can only hope to do as good a job as Mom did instilling faith in both my brother and I. </span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;">But I also find myself coming to new conclusions about faith, conclusions that were not taught to me as I grew up. I grew up believing that every person must have a definite "moment of decision" where they ask Jesus into their heart. Then they must ask to be baptized and they must <i>decide</i> to do this. Baptism was viewed as an act of obedience and discipleship whereby we show that we have turned from the darkness of sin and turned ourselves towards Christ. My mother's baptism and conversion were counted on the same day, as she was an adult convert. Though she had been baptized as a baby in the Methodist church, she had not continued to be discipled and taught. Her mother had been a strong Christian but had died at a young age and my mother was always searching to connect with her mother's faith. When she came to a saving knowledge of Christ herself, she was baptized again and she counts that as the day she became a Christian.</span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;">For me, I asked Jesus into my heart when I was on the changing table (what better place, as we know that Jesus does indeed take out the poop of sin from our lives!). I was very young--younger than 2, I believe. In an interesting twist, my mother got lots of doubt from other evangelicals, including her pastor at the time. They told her, "No, she can't get saved at that age! She hasn't reached the age of accountability!" Nevertheless, my mother wrote the story in a journal that she kept of happenings in my young life. She believed fervently that the faith I had expressed was real. And she believed it was the work of God in my heart. </span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;">It was a couple more years before I was baptized, at my request. I had one false start before that. I remember being toddler or preschool-aged and asking to be baptized. But when I went to visit the deep pool that was used for baptisms at our church, I was terrified and didn't go through with it. A while later, my dad ended up baptizing me in a lake on the 4th of July. </span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;">(An aside: In recent times, I've come to wonder why conversion and baptism are so often separated in evangelical churches. I can understand the Biblical case that can be made for making a decision for Christ but not the separation of baptism from conversion. This summer, I visited a wonderful evangelical church. Several people were being baptized that weekend, but a number of them had been previously converted to faith but now were being baptized much later. In Scripture, baptism comes at the time of conversion. It shows that conversion has happened. I am still struggling to understand how this practice came about in evangelical churches.)</span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;">Moving on with my story: As I grew into my teenage years, I began to grow into a very anxious, depressive young woman. Much of my anxiety was framed around matters of faith. I remember going to a Lutheran church on Christmas one year during this time. That Christmas morning, a precious little baby was being baptized. Having grown up believing that infant baptism was absolutely wrong and fearing that this child was going to go to hell, I felt a strong urge to stand up and tell everyone what a horrible thing they were doing. I wonder what the me of the time would have thought if you had told me that I would one day baptize both of my children as infants!</span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;">A little later, we dipped our toe into the Lutheran church again. A different local Lutheran church was having a weekly service by the lake in Clear Lake, IA. To be honest, we had been going to dysfunctional Pentecostal churches for a while and I think we were getting fed up with the extremes that we encountered there. We started attending this church because we liked the service by the lake. We kept attending because the pastors that we encountered there were balanced and trustworthy. They were careful students of Scripture. Little did I know it at the time, but beginning to attend that church was to be a turning point in my life in so many ways...</span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;"><br /></span>
<span class="versetext" id="3jo1-4" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6852205750171360137" name="5"></a></span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;"><i>Tune in tomorrow for Part 2 of the series, "Why We Baptized Both Our Infants"!</i></span>
<span class="versetext" id="3jo1-4" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6852205750171360137" name="5"></a></span><br />
<span class="versetext" id="de6-9" style="display: inline;"></span><span class="versetext" id="de6-10" style="display: inline;"><span class="versenum"></span></span>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-54893828454363723672013-03-30T14:03:00.003-07:002013-03-30T14:05:46.208-07:00and sometimes you just need chocolate cake...<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47a3dd11b3127ccef2e9c94b889900000030O00BaOXDZu4YtQe3nwk/cC/f=0/ls=00501876894020130330210235829.JPG/ps=50/r=0/rx=550/ry=400/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="232" src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47a3dd11b3127ccef2e9c94b889900000030O00BaOXDZu4YtQe3nwk/cC/f=0/ls=00501876894020130330210235829.JPG/ps=50/r=0/rx=550/ry=400/" title=" " width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A little messy but so delicious!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
It's been a rough week at our house. Not only did Mr. Bean receive his second round of vaccines on Monday and not only is Mr. Bean going through his three month growth spurt, but we are also surrounded by the busyness of Holy Week (generally the most intense week of ministry for a pastor all year)...and most significantly of all, my normally happy, cheerful baby has turned into a mass of tears, hand-gnawing, drooling, night waking...and more tears. The intensity of his needs this week has been overwhelming. I mean, we were getting spoiled around here. Mr. Bean was sleeping about 9 hours each night and he was generally happy most of the day. The only time he wasn't happy was if he was hungry or tired, either of which could be quickly and easily resolved.<br />
<br />
But even easy babies go through tough stages. Because they're, well, babies. And this has been a pretty tough stage. When you're just three months old, it's pretty hard to find some coping skills for having nail-sharp teeth punching through your gums. Most of the time, the only thing that seems to make my little bundle (of joy?) feel better is being held. All.day.long. And even then, he's grouchy. So I've been trying to wash a load of towels all week and it only just got done yesterday. I must be slightly exaggerating but not much when I say that virtually every time I set this little one down to do some essential task, he starts crying. And try as I might, I.can't.make.it.better.<br />
<br />
(On the plus side, I'm pretty sure I've found a way to stop the terrorists: stick them in a room with a crying baby. They'll hand over those essential facts pretty quick. Wait a minute, I don't believe in torture. But still...).<br />
<br />
So one awful week of awful hurty mouth later, I happened to be watching <i>Nigella Bites</i> on the Cooking Channel and she was making comfort food. It was therapeutic just to watch someone peacefully and happily mixing starches and desserts. And, oh, <a href="http://www.cookingchanneltv.com/recipes/nigella-lawson/chocolate-fudge-cake.print.html">the fudge cake with chocolate buttercream icing</a>! I looked up the recipe and had all the ingredients. And suddenly, I <i>needed </i>chocolate cake in the worst way. There is a bone-tiredness, an emotional exhaustion that cries out for the one thing that will make it better: chocolate. (A good nap helps too.)<br />
<br />
We are still not out of the woods. Mr. Bean is still battling those teeth. I know he will be doing so for a couple of years, but I am desperately hoping--for his sake and mine--that this acute phase will be over soon. Until then, I have half a chocolate cake in the fridge to finish. And I now know how to make more.Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-10595732426721228692013-03-14T12:17:00.000-07:002013-03-14T12:19:43.848-07:00Never Feed Your Kids Processed Mac and Cheese Again!We rarely make boxed mac and cheese at our house...but Burrito loves it. In fact, she makes a habit of ordering boring, cardboardy Kraft Mac and Cheese when we go out to eat. In recent months, however, I have discovered how stinkin' easy it is to make homemade, stove-top mac and cheese...and that Burrito loves it just as much--or possibly even more--than the box stuff.<br />
<br />
Better yet, I pretty much always have the simple ingredients that are needed to make this tasty pasta. <br />
<br />
You are not going to believe how easy it is. <br />
<br />
HOMEMADE KID-FRIENDLY MAC AND CHEESE<br />
<i>For the pasta:</i><br />
Approximately 8 dry oz. of noodles--elbows or twisty pastas recommended<br />
<br />
<i>For the sauce:</i><br />
2 TBS butter<br />
2 TBS all-purpose flour<br />
2 cups milk (skim is fine) or half and half<br />
1 tsp Dijon mustard<br />
1/2 tsp salt<br />
1/4 tsp pepper (if desired)<br />
2 cups (or more, to taste) of shredded cheese (preferably a blend that includes cheddar)<br />
<br />
Cook pasta according to package instructions. Meanwhile, melt butter in a large saucepan. Whisk flour together with butter to form a roux (a thickening agent). Then (before roux burns or overly browns), begin to add milk or half and half slowly, a half cup at a time. Continue whisking during this process. Each time the milky mixture begins to thicken and almost boil, it's time to add the next bit of milk or half and half. Once all the milk has been added, whisk in your salt, pepper, and Dijon. Finally, remove from heat and add in your cheese, a half cup at a time, continuing to whisk until smooth. You can add more cheese if you would like, too. You can also add a cup of cooked veggies (peas or broccoli would work especially well); this is a great way to sneak in some extra veggies.<br />
<br />
Toss sauce with pasta. <br />
<br />
Voila! You're done! Try it and see if your kids don't go ga-ga for it!Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-79923928517086042352013-03-01T14:34:00.001-08:002013-03-01T14:35:40.897-08:00THE book for when your kids are making you nuts!<img alt="" border="0" class="pnrhtrkfcfgwwjytqttb" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=flathe-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0800732189" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/0764207091/?tag=flathe-20" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0800719026.01._SCL_SX150_.jpg" /></a>So since Mr. Bean's birth, I have to admit that Burrito and I have been clashing heads a bit. I must admit that a large part of it is my fault. During my pregnancy, I truly felt horrible most of the time, so I spent a lot of time in bed and gave in to what she wanted a lot of the time (loads of TV, anyone?). I am feeling much, much better since having the baby but of course now he needs lots of attention. And there are certainly times when baby coos are a more attractive option than preschooler tantrums (are you with me, anyone?)! I was finding myself losing my temper with Burrito more and more often. I was falling into the pattern of reacting instead of responding to poor preschooler behavior. I was starting to forget that I am actually the parent around here! We've all been there, right?<br />
<br />
I was ready for a shot in the arm. Months ago, my husband bought me the book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0800732189/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0800732189&linkCode=as2&tag=flathe-20">Have a New Kid by Friday: How to Change Your Child's Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days. </a>I had read portions of the book but was finally ready to really sit down and focus on it now. Dr. Kevin Leman's advice is simple but not easy. What makes his book unique is the humor with which his advice is given. When your kids are on your last nerve, you need to laugh. You need to remember (with Bill Cosby) that "these people" (your kiddos) are crazy and that part of getting through the challenges of parenting is knowing how to laugh.<br />
<br />
One of the best pieces of advice Leman gives in the book is this: "Say it once. Turn your back. Walk away." All too often, we as parents forget that we are the God-ordained leaders of our home. Though we are to be kind and loving leaders, we are to be leaders. And the kiddos need to learn respect towards authority. They need to learn that when we say to do something, we mean business. They need to learn to listen to rather than ignore our voice when we speak. Today's parents rightly are trying to correct parenting lacks in some previous eras by focusing on the relationship with our children, but it's certainly possible to take that course correction too far. I realized while reading Leman's book that I was overly concerned with my daughter liking me. This was a shocking realization, but I think tiredness and longing for some of the closeness we had in her younger years was getting to me. All the rest that I had to take while I was pregnant and now all of the attention I was giving the baby were making me feel guilty. So I was focusing too much on wanting to please her, or alternatively getting frustrated when she just wouldn't cooperate. Amazingly, I'm rediscovering that when I remember I'm the mom and she's the kid, when I give her freedom to make decisions without taking it as an indictment on me, when her decisions have natural consequences, I feel that I can relax and enjoy her more. It's almost counter-intuitive how good, calm, loving discipline frees parents to love and enjoy their kids just as they are. But it does. Kids are gonna misbehave and do dumb stuff. We all did when we were kids. But it's how we respond to them that matters. <br />
<br />
Dr. Leman encourages parents to carefully differentiate between "mountains" and "molehills." Which issues are central issues which need to be dealt with and which issues are minor quirks of kid-hood? It's important that we're not constantly on our kids' case. Paul advises us, "<span class="versetext" id="eph6-4" style="display: inline;">Fathers, do not exasperate your children;<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6852205750171360137" name="3"></a> instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord</span>" (Ephesians 6:4, NIV).<br />
<br />
Leman also advises that when a child does something serious like disrespect her parents, the parent simply calmly wait until the next time the child wants something (which he jokes will be in about 5 minutes since there are so many things little people can't reach!) and then calmly tell them, "No, you aren't going to do that today." He advises that, rather than get into a power struggle over the consequence, the parent let the child work at thinking about what they did wrong so that they can grow in maturity and attentiveness to their parents. Once they do apologize for what they did wrong, he suggests the parent forgive them but not lift the consequence. He says what the parent is trying to do is create a teachable moment in which they have the child's full attention. The teachable moment helps create an environment where the child will think twice the next time before he or she sasses mom or dad.<br />
<br />
Leman suggests that the best consequences are natural consequences. He says, "let nature take its course. And when nature doesn't take care of the problem, you help nature along. Don't rescue your kids from the consequences of failed responsibility." For example, if your kiddo wastes time instead of getting a project done for school, don't stay up late trying to help them do it the night before. Natural consequences. They might get a bad grade, but they will learn a valuable lesson for life.<br />
<br />
There is loads more good, wise advice in the pages of this easily readable book. After reading it, I felt empowered and much more positive about my role as a parent. I felt like, "Ok, I can do this!" Leman writes, "Today's children need guidance. They need accountability. They need to be taught that there are consequences for their actions (or their inaction). Otherwise their lives will run amok." We aren't being mean parents to have a high standard for our kids. We're helping to prepare them for life in the real world. This will sometimes mean that they are upset with us, but that's ok. If we keep the big picture in mind, we can weather the storms of parenthood. C'mon, parents. We can <i>do </i>this thing!<br />
<br />
<i>4.5 stars. Highly Recommended.</i>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-87050763561084633852013-02-16T18:35:00.000-08:002013-02-16T18:35:32.494-08:00gazejaded,<br />
slit-eyed, <br />
life tornadoes by.<br />
we forget <br />
wonder:<br />
eye gazing eye.<br />
<br />
wide-eyed baby<br />
sees;<br />
moving blobs <br />
sharpen into focus.<br />
<br />
there's a you<br />
diapering<br />
nursing<br />
snuggling warmth<br />
<br />
eyes begin to speak<br />
<br />
arms, legs flutter <br />
<br />
there's a you!<br />
<br />
<br />Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-2133910242257876482013-02-02T13:22:00.001-08:002013-02-02T13:22:38.831-08:00cloth diapering loveI can't believe I'm saying this, but I LOVE cloth diapering! <br />
<br />
When Burrito was born, I was so overwhelmed by the fact that I had never even <i>changed </i>a diaper and that I knew so little about caring for babies (I was still sure I would break one if I held him or her) that there was <i>no way </i>I was venturing into the confusing and messy unknown of cloth diapering. I also didn't know how much cloth diapering had changed over the years or how user-friendly it had become. I was aware how bad disposable diapers are for the planet: terribly difficult to break down and decompose, piling up in landfills, and such. But for a new mom, disposable diapers were a necessary evil. They are just so easy.<br />
<br />
When Burrito was practically out of diapers, I went to visit a friend who had just had a new baby and she showed me how much cloth diapering had changed and how easy it was now. No more pail of soaking poopy diapers (gross...I mean, no matter how environmentally sound it would be, I don't think you could pay me to deal with that). No more slushing that diaper up and down in the toilet. No more pre-folds with diaper pins (unless you want to!). Now there were All-in-Ones (AIOs), pocket diapers, and covers with inserts. Now there was a sprayer you could install on your toilet to spray all that nasty diaper business down the drain without a single slush in the toilet bowl. I have to admit, my friend made me curious. Maybe I would be able to do cloth diapering if I ever had another child.<br />
<br />
When I got pregnant with Mr. Bean, I began to toss the idea around more. Not only was there the environmental consideration but there was also the money we would save! We had two incomes when Burrito was born but now we just have one. I calculated the thousands of dollars we would end up spending on disposables versus the few hundred on cloth. There might be something to this!<br />
<br />
I began to talk to lots of friends who had done cloth diapering and asked lots of questions. From the sound of it, getting a laundry routine down seemed to be the toughest part. The different brands and types of diapers were a bit dizzying and confusing as were the range of options for laundry soap. I found the most clarity when I visited my local natural baby store, <a href="http://www.bloomingbelliesboutique.com/">Blooming Bellies</a>, where I was able to inspect different types of diapers myself and ask questions. The store owner, Jessica, provides excellent customer service and is always willing to help with questions or concerns. She put up with my several reconnaissance visits to the store as I tried to decide whether I was really going to give cloth a go. She knows a lot about cloth diapers and shares that knowledge very generously. She steered us toward a more affordable powder laundry soap than even the ones she sells. She provided a discount when we finally took the plunge and bought a bunch of cloth diapering items. It's that spirit of service that brings me back to her store again and again.<br />
<br />
After looking over some cloth diapers in person, I decided that the <a href="http://www.gro-via.com/hybrid-grovia-shell-snap-closure.html">GroVia Hybrid diapers</a>, which feature brightly colored diaper shells (covers) with snap-in soaker pads, would be the best choice for our family. What I love about these diapers is that you do not necessarily have to have a fresh diaper shell each time you change diapers. If only the soaker pad becomes soiled, you can re-use the shell on the next diaper change. Sometimes the shells do become soiled or wet, but this option helps reduce the cost of building up the diaper stash and extends the use of those shells a little further.<br />
<br />
Nobody is paying me (yet) to endorse GroVia, but they really should because I will give you a whole-hearted vote of confidence. Not only are they the cutest diapers ever, but they are also incredibly user-friendly and functional. One of the best features of these diapers is that they come in one size. The diaper has a series of <a href="http://www.gro-via.com/qa.html">rise snaps</a> that enable it to be adjusted to be used for newborns all the way up to a potty-trained child, if you also buy <a href="http://www.gro-via.com/grovia-my-choice-side-flex-panels.html">the side-flex panels </a>that turn the diaper into a Pull-Up.<br />
<br />
Washing the GroVia diapers is really easy too, especially now that Mr. Bean is just on Momma milk. I wash my diapers daily but hope to build up a big enough stash soon that I can do it every other day. I'm almost there. When I change diapers, I just deposit the used liners and shells in a trashcan lined with a <a href="http://www.planetwiseinc.com/Planet_Wise_Diaper_Pail_Liner_38_cat.html">Planet Wise pail liner.</a> These liners are washable, so I have two: one to wash and one to use. I just dump my soiled diapers straight out of the liner into the washer and then throw the liner in. I wash on warm with an extra rinse cycle, using Country Save powder detergent. The shells are hung to dry and dry in a couple of hours. The soaker pads go in the dryer but I have never gotten them all the way dry there; they are too thick. Hubby installed a retractable clothes line in the bathroom and we hang the shells and half-dry soaker pads there. We are lucky to have a window right there too and when I get some pretty bad stains, I have been opening the window to let the UV rays hit the diapers. Even though it is only indirect sunshine, I have already gotten some amazing results on getting rid of stains. I can't wait to hang them outside when the weather is better; that will probably really knock out the stains. (You can't use bleach with these cloth diapers.)<br />
<br />
We are only a few weeks into cloth diapering and I do remain humble before this new (to me) method of diapering. But I will say this: so far, so good. I am feeling more confident about it each day. As I've improved the fit of the diapers on Mr. Bean and as he grows, we are getting less blow-outs (which are a reality of life even with disposables). We will see how things go when we hit the yucky solid poops phase of diapering. But as of now, I am feeling great about the money we are saving, the cuteness of Mr. Bean's diapered bum, and the lower impact we are having on the environment.<br />
<br />
Yep. I said it. I love cloth diapering.Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-48708364939060899392013-01-26T15:52:00.000-08:002013-01-26T15:52:01.370-08:00taking a mommy breakI was fairly apprehensive about the prospect of taking care of two kiddos at home alone once hubby returned to work. Could I handle all the work that entailed...especially on less sleep? How would I deal with a preschooler who was used to demanding all my time and attention while attending to the constant dependency and needs of a new baby?<br />
<br />
I have to say, however, that things are going better than I expected. This is why I generally follow the life principle, "Expect the worst and that way, you may be pleasantly surprised!" (I wish I were more of an optimist but unfortunately I'm usually not.) Anyway, although Burrito has had some bouts of jealousy and such, overall she is proving to be an excellent and helpful big sister who says multiple times a day, "Ohhhh, he's just the CUTEST baby!" I have come to greatly appreciate the little things she does all day to help out. She hands me things when I'm nursing and can't reach them. She keeps an eye on her little brother while I clean up after a diaper change. She offers to throw away a dirty diaper. She sings to her crying brother. She really is a blessing.<br />
<br />
And taking care of Bean is going better than expected as well. He is a ravenous eater so that has taken some getting used to. I was prepared to feed him every two hours--but not every hour or hour and a half! But he's a pretty good sleeper at night and has been since he was born, for the most part. Even though I am not getting as much sleep as I would like, I am getting way more than I expected, so life is good.<br />
<br />
Nevertheless, there are times each day when the walls begin to close in, when I wonder if I will ever again have a life outside of nursing and changing diapers 24/7, when I wonder if there is a world outside my little nest, when I begin to feel that even my body does not belong to myself right now. Although I rarely left the house the first few weeks postpartum, I am learning that there is some real value in making mini "Mommy escapes" once Daddy gets home from work. I am so blessed to live in a town where this is possible. I can venture out for an hour or less and refresh my spirit so many ways in our town.<br />
<br />
Sometimes it's just a trip to the grocery store or drug store and a reminder that there are other grown-ups in the world. (I remember when Burrito was a little baby, how I would find reasons to visit our tiny grocery store in North Dakota almost daily.) But my favorite little Mommy escape last week was an hour spent visiting the library and tramping down the street in gorgeous 40 degree temps to visit one of my favorite bakeries in town, Great Northern Foods. I got a great big piece of their amazing chocolate torte, a treat for Burrito, and some wonderful multigrain rolls. Books and good food...my spirits were refreshed when I returned home to a son who was ready to eat...again! (Perhaps he is to be a foodie as well?) I'm so grateful to live in a place where I don't have to drive a hour away to shop or do something fun...just another reason I love living in the Flathead Valley.<br />
<br />
What about you? What is your favorite Mommy escape?Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-17186600719400218022013-01-18T09:38:00.000-08:002013-01-18T09:40:39.649-08:0010 Things I Wish I Had Known about Having a Baby--Part 2<i><a href="http://flatheadmama.blogspot.com/2013/01/10-things-i-wish-i-had-known-about.html">Yesterday, I started a post</a> on 10 Things I Wish I Had Known about Having a Baby. Here is the rest of that post:</i><br />
<br />
7. <b>Don't expect life to carry on as before, just with a cute baby in tow. Expect life to change forever. </b>Before
I had my daughter, I had this crazy idea that I would do my job with a
cute baby in tow. I guess I thought she would be happy and content all
the time and I would just cart her around and there would be no
inconvenience whatsoever. I pictured her napping quietly in my office
while I visited with people or typed away at a sermon. Yeah. Right. I
did try to work from home or with her in tow a lot, but it wasn't
anything like I pictured. Babies need attention. A lot of attention.
Unrelenting attention. They cry, poop, scream and everything in between
all day long, at inconvenient times. If you're going to take baby
along to work or work from home, you're going to have to adjust your
hours, hire a nanny, live near a grandparent or <i>something</i>.
You're not going to be able to be Supermom and do it all. Maybe this is
why Hillary Clinton once wrote a book reminding us of the African
proverb that "it takes a village to raise a child." We all need a
little help. Even stay-at-home moms (as I am now) need some
help...somebody to rock the baby or entertain the preschooler while we
start supper or clean the floors. If we believed before that we could
do it all, having a baby will forever humble us and deprive us of that
notion. With my second baby, as I've come to accept that I need help
sometimes, I've found a lot more peace. And I've also found a lot of
gratitude for the friends and family God has put into my life. <br />
<br />
8. <b>(This is a biggee.) <i>It's not your fault if the baby won't stop crying.</i> </b>Oh
the anxiety that arises when baby won't stop crying. Especially with
my daughter, I would get twisted into knots trying to figure out the
crying, trying to stop it, wondering why I couldn't. With my son, I'm
at least a bit more easy-going. I'm older and wiser (although I
sometimes do still freak out...I'll be honest). I've mostly come to
realize though that babies just cry. A LOT. They are acclimating to
the world outside the womb. Their little brains are still developing.
You and they are still getting to know each other. They literally feel
like they are starving a lot of the time as they go through rapid growth
spurts. As their digestive system develops, they have frequent painful
gas. It's tough to be a baby.<br />
<br />
But it's also tough to
be a new mommy or daddy. You feel like you should be able to know how
to calm the baby down. But when you have fed them, burped them, changed
them, rocked them, checked for anything causing pain, swaddled them,
and you <i>still </i>don't know why the baby is crying, it's helpful to
set them carefully in their crib, take a step away and take a deep
breath and remind yourself that <i>it's not your fault if the baby won't stop crying. </i>Sometimes
you just won't know why they are crying. Maybe they're just in a bad
mood. Maybe they are missing the womb. Who knows? Go easy on
yourself. You're a good mom...a good dad. You'll get through this. Do
the best you can and accept that you will not always be able to calm
baby.<br />
<br />
9. <b>Trust your gut.</b> Ok, this is one that I <i>was</i>
told, but it's important enough I still want to include it. My Mom
told me this when my daughter was born. She told me that God had chosen
me to be my baby's mom and hubby to be my baby's dad. She said we
should trust that God would give us the wisdom and the resources to make
wise decisions for our baby. We would receive lots of conflicting
advice from people. Some of them would be adamant in what we should
do. But we just needed to pray about decisions, talk together and come
to our own decisions on what was best for our baby. I have clung to
this advice all through parenting. And I have tried to also apply it to
a gracious attitude towards others' parenting styles and methods.
Every baby and family is different. Every kid is different. What works
for one kid may not work for another. So much of parenting is trial
and error anyway. So, have confidence in your parenting abilities.
Don't feel like a failure if you do things differently from everybody
else. God chose <i>you </i>to be your child's parent.<br />
<br />
10. <b>Having kids may be tougher than you could imagine, but it is also infinitely more wonderful than you could imagine! </b>I
was really apprehensive about having kids. My husband wanted to have
kids...and I did too, but he was willing to push me to make that leap of
faith. I grew up in a broken family and had a lot of worries about
repeating past patterns. I worried if I would even be a good mother. I
thought I wasn't maternal. And yet...when those little munchkins were
born, something happened to me. I was pulled out of myself, out of my
own navel-gazing into a love that was so much bigger than I was. I'm
not that touchy-feely of a person. But these little people have changed
me...for the better. They've widened my heart, helped me to be more
mellow, taught me more about service, given me confidence that I can
care for children and do it well. They've been so much more of a
blessing in my life than I ever could have anticipated. Having kids is
hard and demanding and all the rest of it. But it's also really
wonderful and I'm so glad that I didn't miss out on experiencing
parenthood.<br />
<br />
So...that's my list...What about the rest of you parents out there? What do you wish you had known before you became a parent?Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6852205750171360137.post-58042338910357117732013-01-17T16:11:00.001-08:002013-01-18T09:41:42.014-08:0010 Things I Wish I Had Known about Having a Baby--Part 1When my first baby was born, I probably could have written a book on the number of things I didn't know about baby care, postnatal recovery, etc. With the birth of baby number two, there is a much less steep learning curve, but, particularly since one is a girl and one is a boy, there have still been some things that I wish someone had explained to me ahead of time even now. There's nothing like on-the-job training but I'd also like to spare any moms-to-be the rude awakening of at least some of these unrealistic expectations if I can. I am a firm believer that we all do better when we have realistic expectations. Realistic expectations help us avoid perfectionism, reduce depression and have coping strategies in place when tough times come.<br />
<br />
So, without further ado, here is my top 10 list of Things I Wish I Had Known about Having a Baby before I had said baby. Some are from my first baby and some are from my second. <br />
<br />
1. <b>Regular childbirth is <i>much much much </i>(did I mention MUCH?) easier to recover from than a c-section.</b> I did know this one, but I think I focused so much on the natural aspect of childbirth (no medication!) with my first child that I didn't leave myself as open to the fact that I might need some medical help and that the chief objective of having a vaginal delivery is much more important than doing it hospital or drug free. With my second baby, I was blessed to have a team of doctors who understood how best to help women have VBACs and although they certainly would have recommended a c-section if it became medically necessary, they would never do it to get to their golf game. They had so many strategies up their sleeve to help women succeed if at all possible. I did use some medication with baby number two. The pain was to a point that it was unmanageable but the rest the medication gave me ultimately helped me succeed at getting a VBAC. The recovery period has been rapid following normal childbirth, whereas with a c-section, my recovery took a full 8 weeks. I also have been better able to bond with the baby, have regained energy and strength faster, and have managed to avoid the deeper depression and exhaustion that characterized my first postpartum period. I was tempted in the midst of the exhaustion and pain of the pushing stage to just tell the doctor to give me a c-section so I could be done. I'm so glad I didn't and I'm so glad she didn't rush to that option.<br />
<br />
2. <b>With that said, you can't control birth and it doesn't really ultimately matter how your baby is born. You will love them no matter what.</b> Yes, vaginal delivery is better for most women's bodies and for their postpartum period, but at the same time, we are not God and this never becomes clearer to us than when we go into labor. My first delivery was everything I hoped it would <i>not</i> be...nightmarishly long followed by a c-section...but even though I had a rough start, I fell in love with my daughter. All of the pain and discomfort to have her were worth it. Some women are unable to have vaginal deliveries, for various health reasons. And all births are different and unpredictable.<br />
<br />
After my daughter's birth, I had to come to a place of accepting how things had gone and that even though I had a "birth plan," birth does not really go according to plan. It's best to know all your options, plan loosely and focus on the the fact that you are about to receive a tremendous gift...one way or another. Knowing all your options enables you to have a "tool kit" to reach into. The wise old nurse who did our childbirth classes this time told us, "If your pain gets out of control, that's when it's time to think about changing something." That's when to reach into the tool kit and pick out a new tool...a new position, a new pain coping mechanism, a medication, maybe even a c-section if necessary. Being too rigid in birth can only set you up for disappointment--or even depression.<br />
<br />
3. <b>Be prepared for some weird postpartum bodily stuff. </b>Everybody tells you about the baby blues and postpartum depression, so you probably won't be too surprised if you burst into tears at the drop of a hat. But no one had told me about the world's longest period (lasting 4-6 weeks postpartum), the night sweats, or the rapid and sudden weight loss that can occur within a few days after birth (especially if you are nursing). Nursing and night sweats take the weight and fluid off fast. If you gained a little extra during pregnancy, it won't completely restore you to pre-pregnancy weight, but you could lost 20-25 pounds in the matter of days. With my first pregnancy, this scared me to death. I thought perhaps something was wrong with me! Be prepared for some potential anxiety, shakiness, and feeling pretty weird with that kind of rapid weight loss. Be prepared to eat plenty of protein and calories if this happens; you will need them! Your system should stabilize in a few days to a couple of weeks.<br />
<br />
4. <b>Nursing can be painful at first--sometimes <i>very</i> painful--even if you are doing everything correctly (take that, Le Leche!:-))</b>. Some women are just more sensitive than others and it does take a little time to toughen up. It bothers me a lot when Le Leche members tell people that nursing should not hurt if you are doing everything right and if baby has a proper latch. This is true a month or two down the road once you have toughened up and acclimated to nursing. But it might hurt a bit or a lot at first, even if you are trying your darndest to get baby latched properly. The pain is typically when the baby first latches on but if you have gotten blisters, it can last throughout the nursing session. So, yes, address the baby's latch, but be patient with yourself and with the pain and soreness. If nursing is important to you (and there are a ton of benefits to health and bonding), try giving nursing 4-6 weeks. Generally, problems resolve by then, baby learns to suck properly, soreness begins to ease, and skin toughens up. Also, make use of a lactation consultant if you can, use <a href="http://www.buybamboobies.com/">cloth nursing pads</a> (much less abrasive than the disposable ones), and try lanolin or <a href="http://www.earthmamaangelbaby.com/natural-nipple-butter.html">natural nipple cream</a>. Finally, if you experiencing cracking or blisters, soaking the affected area in warm salt water after nursing is soothing and helpful in promoting healing. This was a life-saver for me the first time around!<br />
<br />
5. <b>Be prepared for the amount of <i>time</i> you will spend nursing--at least 8-12 times per day for at least 30 minutes each time. </b>Baby will eventually get more efficient at nursing. He or she will fall asleep less and get more focused. And your body will adjust to providing baby the proper amount of milk. But initially it is a <i>huge </i>time commitment. Not only that but your little baby liposuction machine will be sucking fat out of your body so fast that you will have never been so hungry or thirsty in your entire life. Drink a full glass of water as often as you can and get multiple high-energy snacks throughout the day (trail mix, yogurt, cheese sticks, granola bars, cookies, apples and peanut butter, bagels and cream cheese, etc.). A depleted mom is not a happy mom. Early on, I find myself looking at my job as two-fold: feed baby all day and feed myself all day.<br />
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Although baby will eventually become more efficient at nursing and will drop feedings little by little, for as long as you are nursing, it is still a <i>big </i>commitment of time and energy. I was <i>totally </i>unprepared for this with my first baby. Nursing is a supply and demand game, so a person has to do it regularly to ensure enough milk supply. This means feedings can very rarely be put off without consequences. Yes, you can have a dinner date with hubby and leave a bottle for the sitter. But if you don't nurse or pump every few hours, one way or another, your supply is going to start dropping. Finding a way to combine nursing or pumping with work schedules is one of the most challenging things a modern mom has to do. And in our culture, there are many times it's well nigh impossible. It was a huge challenge for me to nurse and work with my first daughter--and I had a very flexible schedule. I can't imagine how women with more rigid schedules manage to do it! Still, if you can do it, it's worth doing. My daughter had almost no sickness in the 17 months I nursed her. My newborn did not catch the colds that we had in the house right after he was born. And the benefit to bonding is outstanding.<br />
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If you can't manage nursing, though, no guilt! We all have to think and decide what is best for our families and if it is killing you to nurse, it might be time to stop. Again, a depleted mom is not a happy mom. Being depleted affects the baby too. No child care decisions are perfect and we all do the best we can. The best thing we can do for other women is support them in the difficult choices they make about such a wide range of baby-care decisions. Being a mom is tough and all of us need more encouragement, not more criticism.<br />
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6. <b>Baby boys eat more. <i>A lot more.</i></b> After my son was born a month ago, I was shocked at the constant feeding he wanted to do! I mentioned to my friends that he wanted to eat every hour, oftentimes. Their response was, "Oh, that's boys!" Apparently, everyone else was aware that boys eat a ton more than girls and often go into marathon nursing sessions. Nobody bothered to tell <i>me</i> though! I was prepared for the more regular every 2-3 hours feedings my daughter did. Nope. Most of the moms of boys that I've talked to since Bean was born have said their sons did the same marathon nursing sessions. Now I know!<br />
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<i><a href="http://flatheadmama.blogspot.com/2013/01/10-things-i-wish-i-had-known-about_18.html">To be continued tomorrow.... </a></i>Rebeccahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02614822971755761394noreply@blogger.com2