Mama Talk: Creativity (A Prelude)

Fingers trembling with joy, I sat down at the computer that September morning.  It wasn’t just the cups of coffee I’d been drinking; this exhilarating feeling was coming from somewhere deeper.  The baby was laying down for a long nap.  My daughter had just headed off for her first morning back at preschool.  And I had TIME.  And ENERGY.  And my HEALTH.  I was going to write!

I flipped on my “Fun. Radio” Pandora station and started to type.

I had missed this so much.  It seemed that just as soon as I hit my stride with blogging and editing a few years ago, I got pregnant.  I don’t do pregnant so well.  I was nauseous and I kept getting sick.  I was tired and distracted.  I kept forgetting things that I’d normally be on top of.  I finally gave up on blogging and writing.  It just wasn’t in me.  It was my year of fog. 

And then the baby was born and, well, you know how new babies are.  If you can manage to get enough sleep while caring for them, then basically you are rocking the world.  There’s no time or energy for creative pursuits. 

When the baby was about six months old, I was still in my slump and was beginning to think I was never going to accomplish anything beyond laundry, diaper changing, nursing and sometimes cooking dinner from scratch.  (I guess technically, caring and feeding for another human is creative, but sometimes it doesn't feel that way.)  Thanks to my friends and my family, I got through a couple of bad months of depression. 

And then the golden intersection of preschool mornings and baby naps hit.  Suddenly this non-morning person was up and at ‘em, getting showered and dressed, and dreaming of what to do with the time that was suddenly available. 

I am coming to realize that I need creativity in my life.  I need it badly.  When I am creative, I begin to glow.  Seriously.  I get filled up with joy and it can’t help but spill out on my family.  Instead of being less than as a mom, I am more!  Sure, there are times when creativity is not possible, but I am finding that it’s important to accept that fact and then get back to creativity as soon as I can.  Because feeling alive and whole is contagious.  My family can’t help but catch it.

Sometimes the problem with creativity is that we feel pressured to be creative in the same way that other moms are creative.  We feel that we should all be like moms on Pinterest.  We feel that we should all be good at crafts.  Or whatever.  Maybe our creative corner of the world looks really different than other moms.  Maybe we never even saw it as creative.  But it’s what makes us ourselves.  Personally, I think being creative in a totally different way is what makes us moms interesting. 

In my small group right now, we are studying Genesis and lately I’ve been so struck by how all of us as human beings are made in God’s image.  I think that there are many elements to being made in God’s image, but one of the biggees is that God made each of us creative beings.  Now, we can’t create ex nihilo (out of nothing) like God can.  God took nothing and made something.  We can only take stuff that’s already here and make something new out of it.  But when we do that, we reflect our Creator.  I think that’s where the joy comes from. 

Maybe for some of us, it’s computer code.  Maybe for others it’s pursuing health and wholeness.  Maybe some sew or or knit or craft.  Others may love to create culinary masterpieces.  Some may love to write.  Some may paint or sketch.  Some may homeschool their kids.  Some may be engineers or architects.  There are so many ways to be creative and make something new out of what we’ve been given in this beautiful world.

In the coming weeks, I’m going to be interviewing several ladies who I admire for their creativity.  They are all moms and they are all creative in all kinds of unique, awesome ways.  We’re going to call it “MamaTalk: Creativity.”  I hope you’ll read and comment and put in your own two cents.  I hope you’ll share and help us the myriad of ways we moms are able to reflect our Creator.  And I hope that if you are having a hard time finding your joy or the reason why you should even make the time for it, you will feel freshly inspired and encouraged.  I hope you will find the time to carve out for being creative—for your family, for God, for you.

Hang on.  It’s going to be a creatively awesome ride!

The West Wing and the Portrayal of Women on TV

Imagine with me for a moment that when we sat down to watch television with our sons and our daughters, what we saw when women were portrayed were competent, smart women accomplishing important things and keeping their clothes on.  What would that be like?

I've spent the past few months watching through all seven seasons of NBC's The West Wing on my Amazon Prime streaming service.  As I have done so, I have been struck by the different way women are treated on this show as opposed to virtually any other show on TV, past or present.

One of the earliest episodes in Season 1 is called, "These Crackpots and These Women." In this episode, three of the high-powered male characters stand at a cocktail party and admiringly watch the strong, capable, smart women with whom they serve and comment on their inner qualities instead of the size of their breasts or rating their prowess in bed.  At one point, the chief of staff comments on one woman staffer who is "going punch for punch with Toby in a world that tells women to sit down and shut up."  By and large, this conversation among the male staffers summarizes the basic attitude toward women on the show.  You rarely see women sexualized, women are always portrayed as strong people with brains who have things to say, and women virtually always have their clothes on (and their clothes tend to be business suits or classy, sophisticated evening gowns). This is the TV show I want my daughter to watch.  In fact, this is the TV show I want my son to watch.  I want them to see how smart and capable women are, how wonderful it is when the two genders work together to accomplish goals.  I want my daughter to see that she is more than beauty (although she is that), but she is also a smart person, a serious person.

As I have found myself steeped deeply in The West Wing these past months, I have become very aware of how terribly women are treated on most other shows.  On most shows, women exist for men in some way.  Women are merely sex objects, bodies, for the consumption and pleasure of others.  Women are taught (Miley Cyrus, anyone?) that the more outrageous the spectacle of their nakedness and sexuality is, the more fame they will be awarded and the higher they will climb in achievement.

This point was underlined in a New York Times article by Jodi Kantor this Sunday, "Harvard Business School Case Study: Gender Equity."

In even such a venerable school as the Harvard Business School, women are often silenced and relegated to being sex objects.  Kantor writes: "Yet many Wall Street-hardened women confided that Harvard was worse than any trading floor, with first-year students divided into sections that took all their classes together and often developed the overheated dynamics of reality shows. Some male students, many with finance backgrounds, commandeered classroom discussions and hazed female students and younger faculty members, and openly ruminated on whom they would 'kill, sleep with or marry' (in cruder terms). Alcohol-soaked social events could be worse." This from a so-called "serious school"!  If Harvard fares this way, what hope the rest of the world?  The article goes on to detail the ways in which the leadership of the school is trying to upend the social system that makes such an environment possible.  They have made some modest gains and I hope they will continue their good work.

Sex is a part of life.  But is it all there is to life?  Has our culture become so saturated in a sexualized way of approaching women that we can no longer view them as real people with an important perspective to share?  As serious leaders?  As intelligent agents of change, hope and purpose?  I've begun to ask these questions even more after watching the eye-opening (and sometimes graphic) documentary Miss Representation (available on Netflix streaming currently).  Jennifer Siebel put this film together because of her deep concerns for her daughter as she looked at the way women were treated in the media.  She realized how powerful the images we see day after day on our screens can be to us.  She wanted to challenge the norms and raise a clarion call for higher standards.  She also wanted to challenge us all to consider what the media norms for the portrayal of women say to our culture about women in leadership.  Do they keep us from taking women in leadership seriously?  How can we change that?

I find myself wondering, with Siebel, not only how the media affects my daughter's body image and self esteem but also how it impacts what she wants to do with her life and whether she feels that she can be taken seriously in a world that talks more about Hillary Clinton's pantsuits and Sarah Palin's beauty queen looks than the substance of their arguments.  And I wonder how the media impacts the experiences of women in ministry too.  I was once a woman in pastoral leadership.  Did the men who I led see me as a serious person with intelligence and serious thoughts?  Or did they see me as a girl who needed to keep house, look pretty and leave the serious thoughts to the boys?  If I had to guess, I'd say that I think that there were probably some of both mindsets.

I don't know exactly what we do to change things.  But I have a couple of goals for my daughter and son as I seek to shape their view of women.  First of all, I hope to encourage them to view worthy, edifying television and movies.  Although I will seek age-appropriate viewing, this does not mean that I will look for what is the most squeaky-clean as my only concern but rather that I will look for media to consume that uplifts worthy values and worthy people, that shows the consequences of bad choices, and that stirs imagination and thought.  I will also hope to seek out projects that give a positive view of women.  Secondly, I hope to engage my kids in discussion about what we see on the screen.  We won't always agree with everything we see and I don't believe in throwing out the baby with the bathwater.  If the majority of a show is good, I won't abandon it because of one distasteful element.  But I will (and already do) talk to my kids about what we see, what is worthy, what is not, and why.  I will teach them to analyze what they see instead of just accepting it whole-sale.

And I will hope for many more worthy television programs like The West Wing.

What about you?  How do you navigate the challenges of media and the portrayal of women with your kids?  What shows or movies have you found to be especially worthy and edifying?

Healthy, Quick School Night Dinners

Well, hello there!  I'm back!  Now that my daughter has returned to preschool and my baby boy has begun some wonderful mega naps, I am finding myself with the time to do some writing again!  I simply could not be more excited if I tried!

So on Facebook I keep hearing the exhausted mama refrain, "What the heck do you make for the kiddos to eat on school nights?  I need ideas for healthy, quick menus that my kids will eat!"

It IS hard to come up with good ideas for busy nights.  Mamas, I've got your back.  Here are some ideas that are favorites around here:

--Make-your-own-pizza bar.  Costco carries a great cheap pizza pack from Boboli in their bread aisle.  It has eight mini pizza crusts and sauce packets.  You get to customize your pizza any way you'd like.  I like to lay out a variety of veggies along with the usual meats and cheeses.  I suggest green pepper, onion, garlic, avocado, sliced tomato, spinach, olives, even broccoli.  For meats, you can use pepperoni, salami, pre-cooked chicken breast, even shredded pork (with BBQ sauce, of course!).  You can add extras like sun-dried tomatoes, basil, or cilantro if you want to.  You can do the standard shredded mozzarella for the cheese, but you could also get creative and try something like blue cheese or feta.  Some friends of ours had us over for dinner, did this pizza bar idea and then grilled the pizzas on their BBQ grill.  What a great idea!  Your very own pizza oven!  You have to watch your pizzas carefully so that the bottom does not burn but it really is a fun and easy way to get dinner DONE!  And the great thing about make-your-own pizzas is that kids are so much more likely to actually EAT a creation that they helped make!

--Asian noodles with stir-fried veggies.  Boil your noodles in one pot, stir-fry your veggies in another (I use extra virgin olive oil), and whisk your sauce in a saucepan on the side.  Then toss everything together at the end.  I use whole wheat spaghetti but you could also use regular spaghetti, udon noodles or rice noodles.  You can use either a teriyaki sauce like this one or a peanut sauce.  I even adapt a separate version of a peanut sauce to be unspicy for my daughter (I just use whisk water or chicken broth, soy sauce and peanut butter in a saucepan over medium heat until smooth).  The magical thing about this recipe is that you can use ANY veggies you have in the fridge!  It's a great way to use up extras and leftovers.  I have used broccoli, kale, spinach, sliced carrots, peppers, zucchini.  The sky is the limit!  Top with peanuts, green onions, cilantro and (for the spicy palate) Sriracha.  Yum!

--Homemade mac and cheese with veggies and ham.  You can find my super-duper EASY recipe for homemade stove-top mac and cheese here.  Once you have tossed the pasta with the sauce, add peas, broccoli, carrots or whatever your kids like.  You can also add cubed ham or pre-cooked chicken to add some protein.

And...check out this post on how to avoid the five o'clock dinner panic!

Those are three of my top ideas!  What is your favorite go-to for a quick, healthy meal that the kids will actually eat?

We are Amanda Berry

I've been thinking about it ever since the story broke on Monday.  The story of three kidnapped women who were found after a decade in captivity when one of their number managed to escape and get help. And this is what I have been thinking: We are Amanda Berry.  All of us.  You and me.  The story leaped off the screen at me.  In it I heard the Christian story of redemption.  The story that we get deadened to...not because we want to, but because we have heard it so many times that we forget what Christ has done for us.

We were held captive for long years in the dungeon of the devil.  His chains of lies and sin and brokenness and death held us.  Whenever we sought freedom, he told us it was not for us.  And then one day, we pierced through the screen door of evil and captivity (although in our case, we were not merely captive and therefore able to bring about our own rescue, but we were actually dead in our sins).

The Holy Spirit pulled us through that screen door.  He kicked it down and then He pulled us through.  He yanked us out into the light of day, breathing breath into us, performing Holy Spirit CPR on our cold corpses.  The warm sun fell on our back.  We gasped for air and awoke.  But we couldn't stop for a moment to relish our new freedom.  "There are more captives!" we cried out.  Now that we had been freed, we could not rest until they too were freed.  We sent help.  We sent rescuers after them.  How could we rejoice in our freedom when others remained bound?

And so they were freed just as we were.  Hallelujah!  And now, we are living a new life...a life that we dared not dream of in those long years of captivity.

But the story isn't over.  This isn't "happily ever after, roll the credits, please!"  Much like the children of Israel, we are getting used to freedom these days.  There are many days we huddle up in a fetal position, hiding, afraid, believing we are still captive.  We spend a lot of time still believing the lies that held us captive.  We forget to live into our new life, our new identity.

We are getting used to redemption, getting used to new life, getting used to being free.  There will be a lot of ups and downs in our journey of new life.  But by the grace of God, we are freed to now live it.

"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light."
--Ephesians 5:8, NIV

"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves,  in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
--Colossians 1:13-14, NIV

Book Review: What a Son Needs from His Mom

So, I had a baby boy four months ago.  And this happening prompted the reflection: What the heck do I know about boys?!  I knew there were a lot of things I could do wrong.  I just didn't have any idea what the right things were to do as the mother of a little being so entirely different from me.  Yes, love the little bugger.  But how?

Just as I was in the midst of musing over these questions, this book by Cheri Fuller came before me for review.  I immediately snatched up a review copy and read it quickly, underlining a lot.  What a Son Needs from His Mom is a book chock-full of wisdom and good advice for moms who are raising sons.
In this book, Fuller provides wisdom on topics as diverse as faith, confidence, communication, emotions, and school.  She provides a lot of anecdotes from moms of boys, as well as comments and stories from the boys themselves on what their mothers did that was helpful or not helpful for them.  Through her own journey as a mom to boys, Fuller helps moms understand how best to relate to a masculine personality.  

Confidence and formation into a strong young man as the goal is a strong theme in this book.  Fuller advises gradually releasing our sons and trusting them to make the right decision instead of overly controlling their decisions.  Helpful to me was her discussion of how off-putting over-protection due to a mother's fears can be to sons and how it can undermine confidence as they grow and develop.  I know this will be a battlefield for me and that I will need to work hard to combat my own fears and anxieties so that my boy can thrive and be the courageous young man God has created him to be.  

In one illustration, she shares about a friend who had a teenage son with whom she was experiencing friction.  "He was becoming edgy, sharing less, and pulling away."  However, "God showed Peggy that her son was the budding head of a new household.  The season of God's nurturing John through her was coming to an end and a new season was beginning for him.  It was no longer fitting for her to dominate this young man whom God was calling to be the eventual head of a new household."  This was a really helpful insight for me.  Granted, realizing when this stage has come to pass will require some careful discernment.  But eventually my son will begin to take on a role of leadership as a man.  He will probably have some growing pains as he comes into a new stage of life.  But I will need to get out of the way as God begins to form him and to move him into this new stage.

In the area of communication, Fuller provided a wonderful, helpful illustration: boys' "emotions and thoughts are a little like oatmeal.  If you heat up a pot of oatmeal and it gets hotter and closer to a boil, bubbles come to the surface.  In a similar way, as our sons get heated up through doing active things, their thoughts bubble up to the surface."  Generally speaking, while girls may focus a lot on direct relationships and talking, boys focus on doing.  I'll need to understand this major difference between the genders as I parent my son.  In regards to communication, Fuller also recommends lecturing less but instead using stories, strong and succinct quotations, and the like to teach.

In another part of the book, Fuller challenges moms to come up with five to eight core values that she hopes to instill in her son (this would be helpful for daughters as well!).  Then, she encourages moms to look to the long-term plan to teach those values.  It won't happen overnight but with steady effort, your child can come to know those all-important values.

I do have only one real critique of this book.  In the way in which Fuller describes the faith life of children, she seems to lean towards a view that a very young child cannot generally be saved and in possession of their own faith.  I believe even very young children can have a saving knowledge of Christ.  I wouldn't say that Fuller fully discounts this reality, but I think she leans slightly away from it.  I'd like to see her embrace God's saving work in very young children more fully.  However, this is a doctrinal matter that the reader can work through on their own.  

Overall, this is an incredibly wise and beneficial book.  I will be returning to it often as I raise my own little man.

4 stars. Highly Recommended.
  
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received an advance digital copy of this book free from Bethany House.  I was not required to write a positive review.  The opinions I have expressed are my own.  I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Why We Baptized Both Our Infants: Part 3

Photo by Bonnie Hoffman.

Over the past few days, I've been sharing from my heart the reasons our family practices infant baptism, despite the fact that I grew up not believing in it.  For the first two posts, click here and here.

Now, for Part 3:
 
Christopher and I baptized our daughter as a baby and will soon baptize our son because we want them to know beyond the shadow of a doubt that the faith in their hearts is God's work and not their own.  When they fall into doubts and questions of faith, we don't want them to analyze, "Did I really have ENOUGH faith"?  We want them instead to return to what God did for them when they were baptized.  We want them to remember that when they were helpless as infants, that is just when the Holy Spirit dipped into their hearts and gave them the gift of faith.  God is the subject of the sentence, not us.

We also want them to know that because they are a part of this family, faith is their heritage and birthright.  We are a family who is "in Christ."  We are together being made new.  The way we operate in our family is in constantly seeking the Lord.

I pray almost every day that God will continue to grow faith in my children's hearts.  Nothing in this world is more important than this.

So this is the way we have chosen to pass on our faith to our kids: infant baptism followed by discipleship and teaching.  A lot of my friends think differently.  They feel a conviction that their kids need to say a "Sinner's Prayer" and make a decision for Jesus.  Either way, the good news is that we are parents who want our kiddos to know and love God.  We want them to experience the blessing of salvation, the freedom of life in Christ, the unmerited favor that God's grace provides.  Some of us will dunk our kids.  Some of us will sprinkle them.  Some of us will encourage a choice for Christ.  Some will emphasize Christ's choice for us.  Either way, we are united in the knowledge that faith comes from the Holy Spirit alone (Ephesians 2:8-9).  

Our human language is so limited in trying to express the truths of Scripture.  That doesn't mean we shouldn't study the Word and try to understand its teaching.  In fact, it is crucial that we do so.  But both Lutheran theology and evangelical theology will fall short at one time or another.  Whatever we call conversion, the Holy Spirit is the One who gives faith and whenever people come to faith or deepen in their faith, it's worth rejoicing about.  I rejoice when people go forward at altar calls.  I rejoice when parents care enough about their kids to dedicate or baptize them.  If we are all centered on Jesus and on His Word, how can we lose?  My Bible study teacher said once (reflecting on Paul's teaching in Romans) that we should not argue so much in the Church on disputable matters such as all the minutiae about baptism.  She said, "Jesus said we should get baptized, so we should do that and not argue about how and when and all that."  I so appreciated that sentiment and completely agree.  

So, when we baptize our little Mr. Bean in a couple of weeks, this is why we are doing it.  But that baptism day is just the beginning.  From then on, a path of teaching and prayer remains.  Hold us in prayer as we teach our little ones just what faith in Jesus is all about.  Nothing is more important.

3 John 4: "I  have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth" (NIV).

Why We Baptized Both Our Infants: Part 2

Photo by Allen Sorbo.

Yesterday, I began a series on infant baptism and my faith story.  In a couple of weeks, we will be baptizing our little Mr. Bean.  In this series of three posts, I explain how I came to believe in and practice infant baptism.  I'd like to share our family's perspective with friends and family, and I also hope this series will be something Mr. Bean and Burrito will treasure when they get old enough to read it. 

When last we left our story, my evangelical family had begun to attend a Lutheran church as I began my young adult years.  Through my acquaintance with this church and the dedicated, faithful, and balanced pastors in it, I began to get really interested in Lutheran teaching and to study God's Word with it in mind.  I also began to study more about Martin Luther and to see myself in his story.  His story of faith was so much like my own.  He was in bondage to attempting to follow God perfectly.  As I had begun growing into my teenage years, I had fallen into bondage to this as well.  I tried desperately to follow God perfectly but always failed.  I was becoming more and more wretched.

Martin Luther's world changed when he encountered the truth that "the just shall live by faith" in Habakkuk.  He came to see that the only righteousness that counts for anything is the righteousness that Christ gives us.  Christ takes on Himself all of our sin and brokenness and in exchange, He gives us His righteousness, goodness, hope and life.  Luther was set free by this truth and little by little, it began to set me free too.  My local Lutheran church did powerful good for me socially as well.  My anxiety and depression had made me quite socially awkward.  Through my church, I had opportunities to serve and grow.  It was awesome.

And so, when my pastor suggested I attend Lutheran seminary, I initially was shocked.  But later I decided to follow through on his advice and go.  I think there were times in seminary I operated with a little too much "freedom in Christ."  But I did receive good teaching on church history and Lutheran history and theology.  I came to understand the reason behind the practice known as infant baptism.  I attended worship class where I learned how to conduct a Lutheran baptism (we practiced on a stuffed animal duck).  

I learned that much of the teaching I received as I grew up focused on something called "decision theology."  Decision theology is the idea that while we are saved through Christ alone, we also have a part to play in the conversion process.  This part is simply to say, "yes" or "no" to God's free offer of salvation.  There are definitely Biblical passages that can be used to support this idea.  But I also came to see that sometimes decision theology can lean too hard on our human involvement and exalt us more than God.  

One of my professors in seminary, Dr. Paulson, taught that we can only say no to God.  We are dead in sin before Christ comes into our lives (Romans 6).  A dead person cannot raise themselves.  They cannot make a decision for Christ.  They can only be raised by Someone from outside of  themselves.  A baby is kind of like a dead person (except that they can scream louder!).  A baby can do absolutely nothing for him or herself.  They cannot change a diaper or feed themselves or bathe themselves.  They often cannot even get themselves to sleep.  No, they need a mother and a father to perform these crucial acts for them.  Their parents help to give them physical life and the baby completely relies on their parents from day to day.  We baptize babies, in part, because they remind us of how completely helpless we all are and how reliant we all are on God for salvation, life, and every other thing.

We also baptize babies because in the New Testament, when a family would come to faith in Christ, the whole family would get baptized.  In fact, not only would children and babies get baptized as a sign of the whole family's conversion, but even slaves who were part of the household would be baptized.  In American culture in particular, we think of ourselves so individualistically, but in the world of the New Testament, it wasn't so much that just an individual converted to faith (although that certainly did happen) but families converted as well (see Acts 10:44-48, 16:15, 16:31-33, 18:8).  Think too of Joshua, who said, "But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD" (Joshua 24:15, NIV).  As parents, we have a profound influence on the faith of our children.  God doesn't want us to segment our faith from our children or to "let them decide what they believe when they get older."  He wants us to instill the faith which the Holy Spirit has placed in our hearts in our children as well.  

I don't want to convey the idea that there aren't times when I feel conflicted about infant baptism, however.  As a young pastor, I did several baptisms of babies and while there were spiritually engaged parents who clearly planned to raise their children in the faith as they promised during the baptism service, there were also parents who my gut told me were baptizing their babies more to please an older relative.  I exhorted them strongly that they needed to keep the promises they made to God in the baptism service.  In baptism the Holy Spirit brings faith into a person's heart.  He makes alive that which was dead.  But if the child who is baptized is not taught the riches that they have been given, those riches go to waste.  Sometimes I felt very conflicted about these infant baptisms.  But I also had to stop and remind myself that faith is not dependent on human effort--not even on mom and dad's.  It is dependent on God.  I didn't want to penalize little children from the touch of God's grace on their lives just because mom and dad were not whole-heartedly following God.  Also, the whole church promises to uphold and welcome the child in faith.  It is primarily mom and dad's responsibility to help them grow, but it is not only mom and dad's responsibility.  These things help me as I think about infant baptism.  Still, given the chance in the future, I might require more of the parents than I did in the past.  

I am also reminded that even in decision theology, sometimes people come forward for altar calls and later fall away.  People are caught up in the moment and yet don't take it seriously.  Or perhaps no one follows up with them and helps them grow in faith.  In all segments of the church, we can do more to shepherd and disciple those who are coming into the family of faith.  It's all too easy to get caught up in the mountaintop moment and then not endure to be there for a new faithling when the going gets tough.  

Stay tuned for the final part of the series, coming tomorrow!