and sometimes you just need chocolate cake...

A little messy but so delicious!

It's been a rough week at our house.  Not only did Mr. Bean receive his second round of vaccines on Monday and not only is Mr. Bean going through his three month growth spurt, but we are also surrounded by the busyness of Holy Week (generally the most intense week of ministry for a pastor all year)...and most significantly of all, my normally happy, cheerful baby has turned into a mass of tears, hand-gnawing, drooling, night waking...and more tears.  The intensity of his needs this week has been overwhelming.  I mean, we were getting spoiled around here.  Mr. Bean was sleeping about 9 hours each night and he was generally happy most of the day.  The only time he wasn't happy was if he was hungry or tired, either of which could be quickly and easily resolved.

But even easy babies go through tough stages.  Because they're, well, babies.  And this has been a pretty tough stage.  When you're just three months old, it's pretty hard to find some coping skills for having nail-sharp teeth punching through your gums.  Most of the time, the only thing that seems to make my little bundle (of joy?) feel better is being held.  All.day.long.  And even then, he's grouchy.  So I've been trying to wash a load of towels all week and it only just got done yesterday.  I must be slightly exaggerating but not much when I say that virtually every time I set this little one down to do some essential task, he starts crying.  And try as I might, I.can't.make.it.better.

(On the plus side, I'm pretty sure I've found a way to stop the terrorists: stick them in a room with a crying baby.  They'll hand over those essential facts pretty quick.  Wait a minute, I don't believe in torture.  But still...).

So one awful week of awful hurty mouth later, I happened to be watching Nigella Bites on the Cooking Channel and she was making comfort food.  It was therapeutic just to watch someone peacefully and happily mixing starches and desserts.  And, oh, the fudge cake with chocolate buttercream icing!  I looked up the recipe and had all the ingredients.  And suddenly, I needed chocolate cake in the worst way.  There is a bone-tiredness, an emotional exhaustion that cries out for the one thing that will make it better: chocolate.  (A good nap helps too.)

We are still not out of the woods.  Mr. Bean is still battling those teeth.  I know he will be doing so for a couple of years, but I am desperately hoping--for his sake and mine--that this acute phase will be over soon.  Until then, I have half a chocolate cake in the fridge to finish.  And I now know how to make more.

cloth diapering love

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I LOVE cloth diapering! 

When Burrito was born, I was so overwhelmed by the fact that I had never even changed a diaper and that I knew so little about caring for babies (I was still sure I would break one if I held him or her) that there was no way I was venturing into the confusing and messy unknown of cloth diapering.  I also didn't know how much cloth diapering had changed over the years or how user-friendly it had become.  I was aware how bad disposable diapers are for the planet: terribly difficult to break down and decompose, piling up in landfills, and such.  But for a new mom, disposable diapers were a necessary evil.  They are just so easy.

When Burrito was practically out of diapers, I went to visit a friend who had just had a new baby and she showed me how much cloth diapering had changed and how easy it was now.  No more pail of soaking poopy diapers (gross...I mean, no matter how environmentally sound it would be, I don't think you could pay me to deal with that).  No more slushing that diaper up and down in the toilet.  No more pre-folds with diaper pins (unless you want to!).  Now there were All-in-Ones (AIOs), pocket diapers, and covers with inserts.  Now there was a sprayer you could install on your toilet to spray all that nasty diaper business down the drain without a single slush in the toilet bowl.  I have to admit, my friend made me curious.  Maybe I would be able to do cloth diapering if I ever had another child.

When I got pregnant with Mr. Bean, I began to toss the idea around more.  Not only was there the environmental consideration but there was also the money we would save!  We had two incomes when Burrito was born but now we just have one.  I calculated the thousands of dollars we would end up spending on disposables versus the few hundred on cloth.  There might be something to this!

I began to talk to lots of friends who had done cloth diapering and asked lots of questions.  From the sound of it, getting a laundry routine down seemed to be the toughest part.  The different brands and types of diapers were a bit dizzying and confusing as were the range of options for laundry soap.  I found the most clarity when I visited my local natural baby store, Blooming Bellies, where I was able to inspect different types of diapers myself and ask questions.  The store owner, Jessica, provides excellent customer service and is always willing to help with questions or concerns.  She put up with my several reconnaissance visits to the store as I tried to decide whether I was really going to give cloth a go. She knows a lot about cloth diapers and shares that knowledge very generously.  She steered us toward a more affordable powder laundry soap than even the ones she sells.  She provided a discount when we finally took the plunge and bought a bunch of cloth diapering items.  It's that spirit of service that brings me back to her store again and again.

After looking over some cloth diapers in person, I decided that the GroVia Hybrid diapers, which feature brightly colored diaper shells (covers) with snap-in soaker pads, would be the best choice for our family.  What I love about these diapers is that you do not necessarily have to have a fresh diaper shell each time you change diapers.  If only the soaker pad becomes soiled, you can re-use the shell on the next diaper change.  Sometimes the shells do become soiled or wet, but this option helps reduce the cost of building up the diaper stash and extends the use of those shells a little further.

Nobody is paying me (yet) to endorse GroVia, but they really should because I will give you a whole-hearted vote of confidence.  Not only are they the cutest diapers ever, but they are also incredibly user-friendly and functional.  One of the best features of these diapers is that they come in one size.  The diaper has a series of rise snaps that enable it to be adjusted to be used for newborns all the way up to a potty-trained child, if you also buy the side-flex panels that turn the diaper into a Pull-Up.

Washing the GroVia diapers is really easy too, especially now that Mr. Bean is just on Momma milk.  I wash my diapers daily but hope to build up a big enough stash soon that I can do it every other day.  I'm almost there.  When I change diapers, I just deposit the used liners and shells in a trashcan lined with a Planet Wise pail liner.  These liners are washable, so I have two: one to wash and one to use.  I just dump my soiled diapers straight out of the liner into the washer and then throw the liner in.  I wash on warm with an extra rinse cycle, using Country Save powder detergent.  The shells are hung to dry and dry in a couple of hours.  The soaker pads go in the dryer but I have never gotten them all the way dry there; they are too thick.  Hubby installed a retractable clothes line in the bathroom and we hang the shells and half-dry soaker pads there.  We are lucky to have a window right there too and when I get some pretty bad stains, I have been opening the window to let the UV rays hit the diapers.  Even though it is only indirect sunshine, I have already gotten some amazing results on getting rid of stains.  I can't wait to hang them outside when the weather is better; that will probably really knock out the stains.  (You can't use bleach with these cloth diapers.)

We are only a few weeks into cloth diapering and I do remain humble before this new (to me) method of diapering.  But I will say this: so far, so good.  I am feeling more confident about it each day.  As I've improved the fit of the diapers on Mr. Bean and as he grows, we are getting less blow-outs (which are a reality of life even with disposables).  We will see how things go when we hit the yucky solid poops phase of diapering.  But as of now, I am feeling great about the money we are saving, the cuteness of Mr. Bean's diapered bum, and the lower impact we are having on the environment.

Yep.  I said it.  I love cloth diapering.

taking a mommy break

I was fairly apprehensive about the prospect of taking care of two kiddos at home alone once hubby returned to work.  Could I handle all the work that entailed...especially on less sleep?  How would I deal with a preschooler who was used to demanding all my time and attention while attending to the constant dependency and needs of a new baby?

I have to say, however, that things are going better than I expected.  This is why I generally follow the life principle, "Expect the worst and that way, you may be pleasantly surprised!"  (I wish I were more of an optimist but unfortunately I'm usually not.)  Anyway, although Burrito has had some bouts of jealousy and such, overall she is proving to be an excellent and helpful big sister who says multiple times a day, "Ohhhh, he's just the CUTEST baby!"  I have come to greatly appreciate the little things she does all day to help out.  She hands me things when I'm nursing and can't reach them.  She keeps an eye on her little brother while I clean up after a diaper change.  She offers to throw away a dirty diaper.  She sings to her crying brother.  She really is a blessing.

And taking care of Bean is going better than expected as well.  He is a ravenous eater so that has taken some getting used to.  I was prepared to feed him every two hours--but not every hour or hour and a half!  But he's a pretty good sleeper at night and has been since he was born, for the most part.  Even though I am not getting as much sleep as I would like, I am getting way more than I expected, so life is good.

Nevertheless, there are times each day when the walls begin to close in, when I wonder if I will ever again have a life outside of nursing and changing diapers 24/7, when I wonder if there is a world outside my little nest, when I begin to feel that even my body does not belong to myself right now.  Although I rarely left the house the first few weeks postpartum, I am learning that there is some real value in making mini "Mommy escapes" once Daddy gets home from work.  I am so blessed to live in a town where this is possible.  I can venture out for an hour or less and refresh my spirit so many ways in our town.

Sometimes it's just a trip to the grocery store or drug store and a reminder that there are other grown-ups in the world.  (I remember when Burrito was a little baby, how I would find reasons to visit our tiny grocery store in North Dakota almost daily.)  But my favorite little Mommy escape last week was an hour spent visiting the library and tramping down the street in gorgeous 40 degree temps to visit one of my favorite bakeries in town, Great Northern Foods.  I got a great big piece of their amazing chocolate torte, a treat for Burrito, and some wonderful multigrain rolls.  Books and good food...my spirits were refreshed when I returned home to a son who was ready to eat...again!  (Perhaps he is to be a foodie as well?)  I'm so grateful to live in a place where I don't have to drive a hour away to shop or do something fun...just another reason I love living in the Flathead Valley.

What about you?  What is your favorite Mommy escape?