adventures in pregnancy: mr. bean

Pregnancy has not been good for blogging.  I thought it might be.  I mean, I could whine and moan about the discomforts of pregnancy for NINE WHOLE MONTHS, right?  Ample material!  But...I also started to think of how SICK of my whining my friends and readers would get...and how sad my friends who struggle with conceiving might feel...and how STINKIN' TIRED I would be--so tired that even spending time whining and moaning seemed as though it might take too much energy.  I remember after my first trimester how I knew I was beginning to feel a bit better because the idea of watching a TV show downstairs on the couch was not so overwhelmingly exhausting (I'd been crashing in bed many hours a day).  LAYING ON THE COUCH was exhausting!  I mean, seriously!  Who can blog?

Not to mention that my blog definitely takes a food slant and just try writing about food when you can't stomach food.  Just, ew.  Gross.

I have barely cooked for my family in months.  Yep, that's right.  Me.  Flathead Mama.  Foodie.  More often than not, I find myself getting take-out or making a big salad for dinner.  Or a sandwich.  Mmmmmm....  Garlic has become persona non grata, which eliminates basically all of my recipes except dessert (although if I had found a way to add garlic to dessert, that probably would be part of my repertoire too!).  The first trimester, I couldn't cook or even stand cooking smells in the house.  I was craving chili one day and I made my husband cook it on the barbecue grill.  A few friends brought me casseroles.  BLESS THEM.  Because of them, my family could actually eat a few home-cooked meals!  And Sweet Peaks...Oh, God bless Sweet Peaks...their creamy, homemade ice cream was one of the few things that tasted really good.  Hence, my visits about three times a week.  No exaggeration.

And then...just as the afternoon sickness of nausea began to abate, I got a bad sinus infection that turned into a cough that made me throw up (which, strangely enough, I had never done from pregnancy nausea...in either pregnancy!).  And then I got food poisoning and had diarrhea for 4 days.  I was reminded of the line from The Devil Wears Prada: "I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight."  Haha.  In a way, it was good.  I had gained a little weight before getting pregnant.  This equaled me out a little bit.  Look on the positive side, I guess.  I wouldn't recommend 4 days of diarrhea as the best diet ever though.  Don't try this at home.

I got so depleted, I started having what almost felt like contractions.  So I had to get checked out at labor and delivery.  There was enough instability that they ordered an ultrasound.  But ultimately, baby was found to be staying put.  I went home, rested, stayed in bed (some more) while my husband did basically everything (some more).  BLESS HIM.  Without him, I probably couldn't have gotten well.  But I did.

The last week or so has been good.  We have done more fun things in the last week than in practically the whole pregnancy combined.  (Arts Festival!  Swimming at the lake!  Farmer's Market!  Thursday Fest in Kalispell!  Movie with the hubby!)  I'm tired and sore these days (and suffering from more allergies than usual), but functional.  And we found out this week that our baby Bean is a boy, so we have taken to calling him Mr. Bean.  I'm feeling him move more and more and so grateful to have gotten this far.  So grateful for the husband, daughter, family, and friends who have helped me through the hormones and sickness and difficulties of the first trimester (and part of the second).  So grateful to God for sustaining me even through an all-too-frequent negative attitude.  So grateful for the good and replenishing activities I've been able to do this week.

I hope with some renewed health and energy, I will be able to post a little more often.  But however things work out, know that I plan to be with this blog long-term.  Because, well, writing is awesome.  And so are my readers.

Fall Resolutions Challenge: Join up!

If you follow my blog on Facebook, you know that I've begun a Fall Resolutions Challenge through the middle of November.  The challenge is basically to make a weekly goal for the next month and see it through.  You can find accountability to accomplish your goal through the Flathead Mama blogging community.  There's still time to join up, if you're interested.  Just go to my page on Facebook, click "like" and post your challenge for the month.  Make sure the challenge is something simple and achievable for you.

Where did this idea come from?  Well, check out this post for the back story.  I guess I just finally got tired of being out of shape to an extent even shocking for a sedentary person like myself.  I know that I'll never be a great athlete, but surely I can take some simple steps to be a bit healthier.  I also know that since I suffer from anxiety and depression, exercise can be a powerful boost to mood.  I read an article in Oprah's magazine a few years ago that cited research showing that exercise can be as effective as an antidepressant. 

Anyway, I have made the goal for myself to get in three workouts a week, either walking for a half hour or doing a Pilates routine (if it's raining).  This seems like an achievable goal for me and I sat down with my husband to discuss how we could make it happen realistically in our schedule.  It's just about getting some movement and feeling and looking healthier. 

For me, I feel that exercise that is natural has a better chance of succeeding.  Hence, walking!  The Flathead Valley is beautiful this time of the year as the leaves begin to change.  I love the smells of wet leaves, moist earth, and pine trees.  I love the fresh, clean air.  I love the beautiful mountains, jutting up into the sky.  Honestly, it's a real shame to live in such a beautiful place and spend so little time (lately) getting out in God's creation.  And yet, it is rainy season again in the Flathead, so I wanted to make sure to have an alternate plan in case it did rain.  Pilates is a fun activity I have enjoyed for a few years now.  It's a great form of exercise for someone like me who has bad knees and is not a great athlete.  It is low impact and is able to be challenging no matter how much you practice it.  It requires a lot of concentration and deep breathing too which is wonderful for people who struggle with anxiety.  I still would prefer a walk out in nature but if need be, I have a back-up plan.

And I have to say, after a couple of walks, I have come home feeling alive and exhilarated!  It's amazing what a little fresh air and getting your blood flowing can do for a person.  It's also a great time to unplug from noise, electronic devices, and stress and just reflect, pray and enjoy creation.

So, those are my goals for the next month.  Who wants to join me?  Don't forget...Go to my page on Facebook to join up.  Your goal does not have to be fitness-related, by the way.  It can be any simple, achievable goal.  Happy Goal-making!

trying to match a toddler’s energy

I love Burrito.  I love spending time with her.  I love the magical moments that are sprinkled through the day.  When she says she loves me (without being asked).  When she learns something new.  When she says something unexpected that makes me laugh out loud.

But there are a whole lot of moments in this journey of parenthood that are pretty mundane.  Even (dare I say it?), boring. 

I struggle with trying to maintain interest in a toddler’s interests.  Because, well, I’m not a toddler.  Where I would like to finish reading The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, she would like to play doll house and “Mommy play doll house too!” (whatever that means!).  Some days I come up with awesome, creative ideas for play, but other days I have no stinkin’ clue.  Surely, other moms must be filling their days with their young ones with all kinds of new, creative play ideas.  I struggle with how to fill the hours.

And when it gets close to time for Daddy to come home, I count the minutes.  Not because I don’t love spending time with Burrito but because my mind can only fasten itself on the mindset of a toddler for so long.

I wonder how much active play time other moms have with their kids.  Do they stick their little ones in the corner with a pile of toys and let them go at it or do they play with them all day?  And how do they get their housework done?  It’s hard to clean when the little one asks you three times in a row, “What’s that noise?”  For the 70^th time that day.  It’s hard to write a letter when your toddler keeps trying to grab the pen.

So, we divide the day up into portions.  I give myself little breaks throughout the day.  She is perfectly capable of doing some playing on her own now.  We eat breakfast together, then I take a shower while she plays by herself.  Then we usually end up doing something together.  Then lunch, followed by story and nap.  After nap, it’s snack time and try to come up with something else to do together.

I do better some days, better than others.  Some days I am SUPER MAMA, full of creative ideas and energy.  Some days I am SUPER TIRED MAMA, finding it difficult to summon the energy. 

I hope I am doing right by Burrito.  She really is a wonderful child and it is a miracle to see her grow and change each day.  But sometimes I just wish I had more ideas and energy.

Anybody else out ever feel like that?