and sometimes you just need chocolate cake...

A little messy but so delicious!

It's been a rough week at our house.  Not only did Mr. Bean receive his second round of vaccines on Monday and not only is Mr. Bean going through his three month growth spurt, but we are also surrounded by the busyness of Holy Week (generally the most intense week of ministry for a pastor all year)...and most significantly of all, my normally happy, cheerful baby has turned into a mass of tears, hand-gnawing, drooling, night waking...and more tears.  The intensity of his needs this week has been overwhelming.  I mean, we were getting spoiled around here.  Mr. Bean was sleeping about 9 hours each night and he was generally happy most of the day.  The only time he wasn't happy was if he was hungry or tired, either of which could be quickly and easily resolved.

But even easy babies go through tough stages.  Because they're, well, babies.  And this has been a pretty tough stage.  When you're just three months old, it's pretty hard to find some coping skills for having nail-sharp teeth punching through your gums.  Most of the time, the only thing that seems to make my little bundle (of joy?) feel better is being held.  All.day.long.  And even then, he's grouchy.  So I've been trying to wash a load of towels all week and it only just got done yesterday.  I must be slightly exaggerating but not much when I say that virtually every time I set this little one down to do some essential task, he starts crying.  And try as I might, I.can't.make.it.better.

(On the plus side, I'm pretty sure I've found a way to stop the terrorists: stick them in a room with a crying baby.  They'll hand over those essential facts pretty quick.  Wait a minute, I don't believe in torture.  But still...).

So one awful week of awful hurty mouth later, I happened to be watching Nigella Bites on the Cooking Channel and she was making comfort food.  It was therapeutic just to watch someone peacefully and happily mixing starches and desserts.  And, oh, the fudge cake with chocolate buttercream icing!  I looked up the recipe and had all the ingredients.  And suddenly, I needed chocolate cake in the worst way.  There is a bone-tiredness, an emotional exhaustion that cries out for the one thing that will make it better: chocolate.  (A good nap helps too.)

We are still not out of the woods.  Mr. Bean is still battling those teeth.  I know he will be doing so for a couple of years, but I am desperately hoping--for his sake and mine--that this acute phase will be over soon.  Until then, I have half a chocolate cake in the fridge to finish.  And I now know how to make more.

Never Feed Your Kids Processed Mac and Cheese Again!

We rarely make boxed mac and cheese at our house...but Burrito loves it.  In fact, she makes a habit of ordering boring, cardboardy Kraft Mac and Cheese when we go out to eat.  In recent months, however, I have discovered how stinkin' easy it is to make homemade, stove-top mac and cheese...and that Burrito loves it just as much--or possibly even more--than the box stuff.

Better yet, I pretty much always have the simple ingredients that are needed to make this tasty pasta.

You are not going to believe how easy it is.

HOMEMADE KID-FRIENDLY MAC AND CHEESE
For the pasta:
Approximately 8 dry oz. of noodles--elbows or twisty pastas recommended

For the sauce:
2 TBS butter
2 TBS all-purpose flour
2 cups milk (skim is fine) or half and half
1 tsp Dijon mustard
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper (if desired)
2 cups (or more, to taste) of shredded cheese (preferably a blend that includes cheddar)

Cook pasta according to package instructions.  Meanwhile, melt butter in a large saucepan.  Whisk flour together with butter to form a roux (a thickening agent).  Then (before roux burns or overly browns), begin to add milk or half and half slowly, a half cup at a time.  Continue whisking during this process.  Each time the milky mixture begins to thicken and almost boil, it's time to add the next bit of milk or half and half.  Once all the milk has been added, whisk in your salt, pepper, and Dijon.  Finally, remove from heat and add in your cheese, a half cup at a time, continuing to whisk until smooth.  You can add more cheese if you would like, too.  You can also add a cup of cooked veggies (peas or broccoli would work especially well); this is a great way to sneak in some extra veggies.

Toss sauce with pasta.

Voila!  You're done!  Try it and see if your kids don't go ga-ga for it!

healthy lifestyle changes: progress report

Since I posted about my weight gain last week, I've been trying to implement some healthy changes in my life.  I am trying very hard not to get obsessive about body image, but I'm also finding that as an always-skinny girl, suddenly bumping up against a noticeable weight gain makes it hard not to obsess.  Sometimes it's hard to accept that my body will never again look like it did before I got pregnant and had a baby.  The best I can hope for is the leaner but still visible belly rolls and droops of my body after pregnancy.  In a culture that accepts nothing less than physical perfection, this can be hard to accept.  But my husband consistently reminds me that that droopy ol' belly is evidence that our sweet daughter lived there once; because of that, he says, it is beautiful.  What a gift he is to me!

So I am trying to accept that perfection is not a realistic goal.  Rather, regular healthier choices in the area of food and exercise will eventually begin to pay off in a more fit body, an ability to fit into my clothes better and feel better about how I look.  (I actually got asked if I was pregnant a few weeks ago.  NOT an ego boost!)

Anyway, I've been trying to get exercise in as often as I can.  If it's a nice day, I try to invent a reason to go for a walk.  If it's a gloomy day, I do leg exercises and Pilates.  Every day?  Heck, no.  I'm still sedentary at heart, but I'm really trying to increase my exercising and get more active.  I've noticed increasing strength and stamina and the exercise along with eating healthier is helping my body to just feel better.

I counted calories several days as well.  Mostly to attune myself to how much I actually am consuming and to hold myself accountable to make better decisions.  But I am not starving myself.  It's tempting (for about half a minute!) because I know I would get quicker results.  But I would also have the grumpy hungries all day and I'd end up gaining a lot of the weight back.  It's not good for me mentally or relationally or physically to be without nourishment.  So instead of starving myself or eating gross food-like substances labeled "diet food," I am trying to make my calories count.  Rather than getting a huge portion of my daily calories from butter or other fats, I am trying to get them from a lot of protein and I'm eating a ton of vegetables too.  I'm also eating more whole grains again.  But I've not fully cut out fats.  I tried some low-fat cheese as a snack this week, but I think I'm going back to full fat cheese and just having a sensible portion.  Our bodies do need some fat.  They just don't need us to gorge on it all the time. 

I've found some great snack ideas (I require snacks during the day and at night, but without good options in the house, I go back to my trusty popcorn with three tablespoons of butter!).  Here's a few to share with you:
--Triscuits with 2 TBS of good cheese (Manchego, Parmigiano-Reggiano, and Boursin are some of my favorites)
--Sugar snap peas, baby carrots, and red/orange/yellow pepper strips with Skotidakis Jalapeno Yogurt dip (available at Costco and just 50 calories for a 2 TBS serving!).
--Tabbouleh
--Spinach Salad, with onions and tomatoes, tossed with homemade salad dressing (lately, I've been partial to Maple Dijon)
--Fage 0% Greek yogurt with fruit (120 calories per container)
--Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches (although, I think I'm going to go back to regular ice cream and just eat less of it! Low-fat dairy just isn't as satisfying!)
--Half an apple with 1 TBS of natural peanut butter (salty and sweet craving!)

I've also found some great lunch ideas, packed with protein to keep me going.  My favorite was this smoky, sweet and savory Creamy Chicken Salad, served on a bed of spinach. 

If you have good healthy and filling recipe ideas, post them here!  I'll be back with another post on healthy dinner options soon!  It's funny how easy it is to get lazy about what we eat, but healthy nutrition is starting to come back to me!  Stay tuned!

but i don't worry about my weight!

Ever since my growing up days, I have been a classically skinny girl.  Despite not being very physically active, I've been blessed with a high metabolism and good genes and have always managed to eat what I want, with relatively few problems.  There was the time I was working at Culver's and eating lots of Butter Burgers and frozen custard and put on a few pounds, I suppose.  And until I took off my pregnancy weight, I was bigger than I'd ever been (nursing helped a lot with that!).  But without pregnancy or post-pregnancy to blame, I've never carried this much weight.

I had started noticing my clothes fitting tighter in recent months.  But as a rule, I don't weigh myself.  Too many neuroses as an American woman!  I don't need to add to it by obsessing over a stupid number on a scale.  Plus, I accept as dogma that I can eat whatever I want since I have high metabolism.  And I don't worry about my weight.

So you can understand that it was a big shock when I went to doctor's office this past week and found I had put on about 15 pounds in the past year!  How did this happen?

I blame the butter.  Yes, in moderation it is a reasonably healthy food since it is natural (unlike, say, margarine).  But the problem is that me and butter do not usually equal moderation.  I was eating a shocking amount of butter on popcorn many nights a week.  And I was letting unnecessary fat sneak into my diet (full fat sour cream, instead of lowfat, for instance).  This combined with the extra-sedentary nature of winter...well, it wasn't helping me out.

Now that I know I've gained this extra weight, it's hard not to get super obsessive about it.  But I'm trying my best to start simply making healthier choices.  Doing more exercise (which the beautiful spring weather is helping me to do).  Making healthier choices in my consumption (which is difficult since my high metabolism leaves me hungry very often!).  I am trying to get more of my calories from nutritious foods rather than using them all up with fatty butter and sauces (which I know are still ok in moderation).  I REFUSE to eat diet foods or officially go on a diet, however.  I firmly believe these methods backfire.  I won't eat a bunch of pre-manufactured foods, because I believe that overall they are bad for my body.  I won't go into deprivation mode but will simply work hard on finding healthy, delicious foods that still feel like a "treat" for me (like this salad or some crackers with slivers of good quality cheese).

I guess it was bound to happen, humbling this "skinny girl."  We grow older and our metabolism slows.  We get lazy and make bad choices, thinking there will be no consequences.  But I am hopeful that if I am consistent in some lifestyle changes, I will begin to see results!

So, who has healthy recipe recommendations (especially for snacks and lunches!) and words of advice?  I hope to hear from you!