by Stephen Mansfield, you know that I think it is a book that every Christian who has been hurt by another brother or sister in Christ should read.Tyndale has provided me an opportunity to give one of you a free copy of this book. To enter the contest, just answer the following question in the comments below by Wednesday, February 15 (MST). If you win, I will post your name here on the blog on Thursday and get in touch with you. One entry per person, but multiple members of a family may enter.
Here's the question for you to answer: What is one lesson that you learned in your experience of church hurts or church conflicts?
The Church is a difficult topic for me because of the hurts that have occurred there over the course of my life. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to try to continue to be part of the church. But, I have learned that we are all called to be the Body of Christ. We are all sinful, imperfect people that hurt each other, but even as sinful, imperfect people we can be used by God to help heal the hurts that others have caused. We are called to be the Church! It's messy and not always fun. There are some people that are part of the church that are not so great, but there are others that are amazing!
ReplyDeleteThis book sounds like an interesting read. Thanks for the chance to get my hands on it!
cryssq@yahoo.com
Cryss, I understand and have definitely been there...One point from the book that really helped me is that Jesus loves His wife and His wife is the Church...and we can't love Jesus without loving His wife. Darn it, but it's true...
DeleteThat brokenness occurs everwhere but church also has an opportunity to be a place of healing
ReplyDeleteWell said!
DeleteI've learned and actually been able to practice two things: 1) anonymity has no place in the church; 2) generalities have no place in the church. The anonymous accusation: "People are saying..." needs to be claimed by a specific person or persons. Even criminals are able to know and face their accusers. Should the same not be granted to one who occupies the office of public preaching? The same is true for generalities. Just like there is no rebuttal to an anonymous accusation, so too is there no answer to a generalized accusation. Specific "failures" on specific occasions must be named.
ReplyDeleteI wish your reply could be distributed to every church member in the world!
DeleteI wanted my church to be real and relational. Not to be legalistic or phoney. When I got hurt by "the church" I learned that the hurt and the family aspect were both very real. No relationship or family is perfect. They are challenging! If something doesn't take sacrifice or work then it probably doesn't hold much value in the end. While I realized that I had received what I had asked for, real relationship which carries real struggles at times, now I have to learn how to move past the hurt and how to strengthen a broken relationship.
ReplyDeleteMaggie, you hit the nail on the head! The book covers some of these aspects...I think the central image about what to do with the sins and hurts we have experienced in the book would really speak to you...
DeleteI think I have learned that they are inevitable in churches full of sinners. I have also learned that sometimes you have to separate the actions of the person in the situation and the person who you know that person to truly be. It seems that people get so caught up in the issue at hand that they lose themselves. I have also learned to go straight to the source so the "he said/she saids" don't take over. Finally, I've learned to forgive because we can all be idiots at times. If I win the random drawing, can you give my book to Maggie Graham? I can always borrow it from her later. :) She is right in the thick of it right now.
ReplyDeleteJesica, I can definitely give your copy to Maggie if you win.
DeleteIt IS so hard to separate the issue from the person. Sometimes it sure seems like the issue IS the person. Ha! But Jesus still died for difficult people. Including me.
I believe that God has created the church to be a community, to live in response to God’s command to love God and to love and serve the neighbor.
ReplyDeleteI have learned that when the community loses sight of that mission, it’s like a progressive disease. The field of vision shrinks from an expansive understanding of who is our neighbor, to a “keep it local” attitude of helping only those like us, to finally a desire to “keep the doors open” at all costs. When the community’s radius shrinks that far, it’s like a cancer; all of the energy that is made to be used in loving service to others turns toxic and becomes a destructive attack against one another. Often the venom gets focused on the pastor, who is usually more of an outsider than an insider.
I have learned that when the disease progresses that far, it’s very hard to turn it around. Like any cancer, it’s important to catch the deterioration of vision early. The vaccine (to continue the disease image) is to have voices in the congregation to constantly remind the community to stay facing outward.
I have lived both sides of this disease. I have been badly hurt, but I have also had the joy of seeing a congregation respond with energy and passion to opportunities to live as they were meant to live, to be the good news in the lives of others.
I think that tunnel vision of focusing only on survival and what is local is liable to destroy the mainline church. I have seen it over and over again. We need to dare to be about God's mission, not our own. We need to step out in faith, instead of lounge about in comfort. But this message is threatening and that is why we resist it and shoot the messenger.
DeleteThat what people think doesn't really matter and probably isn't true. The church is full of sinners of which I am as big a one as anyone else. I don't know what other's issues are if they have a problem with me that is their problem, not mine. I just try to be nice and respectful and to see them as brothers and sisters in Christ even if others don't see me that way.
ReplyDelete