Monday, January 30, 2012

why i won't be boycotting starbucks

On January 25, Starbucks posted the following status to Facebook: “We are proud to support Marriage Equality legislation in the Washington State Legislature.”  Of course, some conservative Christians raised brouhaha over this statement and the comments in response to Starbucks are still coming in.  For example, one commenter said: “I will be taking my dollars elsewhere because of this support - and I do love my Starbucks. But I do have the right in this country to choose how I spend my money. And I choose to not spend it with a company supporting something I do not.”  A few months ago, it became apparent that Starbucks matched employee gifts to Planned Parenthood and at that time also many Christians declared that they would no longer buy coffee from Starbucks. 

But I do not count myself among the boycotters. 

Unlike my more liberal friends, I don’t agree with Starbucks’ expenditures.  It’s not how I would spend my money and I don’t appreciate these causes.  I don’t support Marriage Equality legislation (although I am certainly far more concerned about the redefinition of marriage within the church—which I expect to be set apart for God— than in the State—which I expect to act like the world).  I definitely don’t support the mission and work of Planned Parenthood.  Although there are caring people who work there, I do not trust the organization itself to truly do what is best for women. 

If I don’t like Starbucks’ money going to these causes, then why have I failed to jump on the boycott bandwagon?

Well, first of all, I believe boycotts should be more than a knee-jerk reaction.  Because our decisions directly impact someone’s business, we should stop and think hard before we boycott.  We should think about the message we send by our boycott.  (Are we contributing to the “intolerant bigots” view of Christians today?)  We should think also about what other companies are contributing to the causes of which we disapprove.  For example, there is a list of the other companies who are part of the Washington United for Marriage Business Coalition, a pro-gay marriage group.  The list is long and although many of the companies are local businesses in Washington, there are a number of prominent national businesses as well.  I believe each should be scrutinized equally when it comes to potential boycotts.  Are you prepared to drop your insurance company (American Family Insurance)?  Are you willing to start using another search engine (Google)?  Plan to change your computer’s operating system (Microsoft)?  Unless you are willing to consider these choices, you are simply succumbing to a herd mentality, doing the “trendy Christian thing.”  We live in a world where it’s cool to boycott Starbucks in some Christian circles, but if we are not consistent, we run the risk of simply coming across as hateful and making very little impact.  (Note: There is a similar list of companies that currently match employee's gifts to Planned Parenthood here.  Starbucks is not listed on that list but is listed here; I have been unable to substantiate whether or not they are still providing these matching funds.)  

Sooner or later though, we come to realize that all businesses and all money are tainted with sin.  If we dig deep enough in most companies, we will find something we don’t like, something of which we disapprove.  Yes, there may be times when we feel conscience-bound to boycott a business (and if God is calling you to do that, by all means do!).  There may be times when we feel so uncomfortable with a certain group’s business practices that we decide to shop elsewhere.  But we should think and pray carefully before we haul off with an angry boycott. 

Yes, sin is serious.  Yes, Christians are concerned with turning away from sin.  But we also have to think about how our tactics make our message come across.  Are we giving off a haughty attitude or are we portraying the Biblical understanding of sin?  Sin is something we are all complicit in.  Sin is something we all need a Savior to deliver us from.  And that Savior did come, because He loved us enough to give up His life for us.  So, the story begins with sin, but it ends with a Savior. 

Where is the Savior in the angry boycott language?  Is our communication style making it harder for people to see Jesus?  Rather than boycotting a business for having different values than our own, maybe it would make sense for each Christian to become friends with someone who believes vastly differently than they do.  Maybe in gently sharing God’s love and care for their friend, an open heart to Biblical truth may result.  Christian disciples are not made by placards, slogans, and boycotts.  Christian disciples are made through the Word, the Holy Spirit and the power of personal relationships with Christians.  And Christians who are plugged into the Scriptures and Christian community fundamentally begin to change from the inside out.

We shouldn’t expect Starbucks—or Google—to have Biblical values.  But maybe we can all befriend and care about Starbucks one barista at a time.  The way Jesus would.  And maybe those individuals can be changed to see the world the way God does. 

16 comments:

  1. Beautifully written, Rebecca (as usual). Also: thoughtful and most decidedly NOT knee-jerk.

    Thank you.

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    1. Thank you, Mrs. I have bad knees so I try my best not to jerk them.:-)

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  2. Thanks for the post, Rebecca. I agree that sudden, angry calls for boycotts are generally unhelpful. For reasons similar to yours, I don’t boycott Chick-Fil-A or Target even though they have contributed to anti-gay candidates and legislation.

    As someone who is Christian but also happens to be gay, I believe that it is our responsibility to interact with the world the way that Jesus would and give love and compassion even to those that would tell us we are sinful for marrying the person we love. It is when we seek to understand another perspective and share our own, knowing that we probably won’t agree, that we follow the greatest commandment to love our neighbor as ourselves and truly come to see the world the way that God does.

    So to challenge you, here are some blogs I think would help you to see things from another perspective. And if you have thoughts or resources, I would love to see them. (But I would really encourage you to try to see if you have any misconceptions about what it means to be gay first. If you try to tell me how to live without understanding where I’m coming from, there’s not much to talk about.)

    1. Misty Irons is a conservative Christian blogger who is straight and comes from the perspective that people who are gay and Christian should remain celibate. But she makes a good case for why conservative Christians should support civil same-sex marriage: http://www.musingson.com/ccCase.html

    2. Rachel Held Evans is a Christian blogger who is tackling a lot of big questions regarding faith. Often she has her readers post questions for those of different denominations, theological backgrounds, faiths, and orientations so that we can all come to a better understanding. The “Ask a Gay Christian” perspective was one of her most popular posts ever and generated a lot of controversy. But it does help you to see things from a different point of view: http://rachelheldevans.com/ask-a-gay-christian-response

    3. Finally, Justin Lee is a gay Christian who started the Gay Christian Network for gay people who are Christians but found that ex-gay programs just don’t work and still felt called to be Christian. He talks about struggling to reconcile his faith and orientation and about how he came to see that the Bible doesn’t condemn same-sex relationships. (I know, that sounds heretical, but don’t forget that it wasn’t too long ago that a woman as a pastor would have been heretical for Biblical reasons.) But we recognize that not everyone believes the same way, so the voice of Ron, who is also gay but feels called to celibacy, is included. http://www.gaychristian.net/greatdebate.php

    Sometimes being in a dialogue with someone with whom we deeply disagree could be construed as liberalism, or the idea that truth is an individual thing. I don’t believe that. But growing up in a conservative household as someone who is gay has taught me that we don’t always have the whole picture. There are a lot of misconceptions about what it means to be gay, and you can’t stand on solid theological ground until you can walk for a while in my shoes.

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    1. Wow, Marty...thank you for your substantive comment on this post. You're my dream commenter: respectful and with something meaningful to say!:-) May I ask how you found my blog?

      I appreciate the links you posted and will take a look at them (I'm somewhat familiar with Rachel Held Evans). I will say that the Christian view of homosexuality is something I have definitely wrestled with at length and I have definitely known/know and listened to those who identify as gay Christians. I've listened to the arguments for living the lifestyle as a Christian at length and have ultimately found them not compelling. However, I do think that interacting with those who are gay has helped me to have a more nuanced view than I used to. I no longer think that in most cases homosexuality is a choice. I think most people probably get there through factors that are not their choice. I also think that the gay community of Christians has not sufficiently wrestled with the idea of original sin and what that means for our sexuality. We are all born with tendencies to things that are not God's original created intent. Yes, we are created in the image of God, but we are also born in sin (all of us, of course, not just gay people). Because of this and because there aren't any positive examples in Scripture of homosexuality in action, but only condemnation of the behavior (not of the tendency, temptation, or attraction), I believe abstaining from homosexual behavior is Biblically mandated. However, I understand that that is hard to hear coming from me as a heterosexual. I understand that what I'm asking and describing could be enormously painful and difficult. I understand that it's hard for me even to begin to appreciate how difficult this may be. However, I believe it is possible, because God doesn't ask us to do the impossible. The attraction may never go away and I don't think there should be shame in people's hearts because of a same-sex attraction, but simply a willingness to present oneself to God and say no to the impulse in one's actions.

      I also think saying no to the impulse is a matter of Christian discipleship, not necessarily something that is self-evident to the world. I'm not going to be out there campaigning for gay marriage to be legalized, but I'm not going to spend much time or energy on fighting it either. I'd rather focus my time and energy on myself (and keeping my marriage strong as there has rightly been much condemnation of the failure of heterosexual marriage) and on the Church.

      Thank you again for taking the time to engage with me and so kindly and respectfully. I really agree with you that people who think differently about things do need to talk to each other. Thanks for being one of those people and please visit the blog again!

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  3. Rebecca, thanks for your response. I found your blog through your husband Chris. We went to college together and were on the speech and debate team. At the time I knew him, I hadn't come out yet. My way of looking at it was very similar to what you describe. And I had a lot of fear about coming out because the Christians who were my friends and family thought that being gay means either that you are just some liberal doing crazy stuff or that something had happened to you to cause you to be "not normal."

    Just so you know, there are a lot of theories about homosexuality that are still spread in Christian circles but that have been disproven for years. The most common is that you are gay because you had a distant father and overbearing mother. Personally, I think it's a little cruel to blame parents, especially when they are already having a hard time thinking about the prejudice their child will encounter and what this will mean for their faith. Besides, that description doesn't fit me at all. My father was there for my brothers and I, and my mom is the sweetest and least overbearing person you could ever meet. Both of my brothers are straight and we all grew up in the same house and had dinner together every night and went to church on Sundays. No family is perfect and we had our disagreements, but there's nothing serious in my life that would have caused me to be gay.

    The consensus among most experts is that the cause is biological, that something during gestation causes our brains to develop a little differently. The science is all debatable, but it makes sense to me. There's no reason why in elementary school I was attracted to the men in the National Geographic magazine rather than the women other than I was just born that way.

    But you're right that just because I am attracted to men, doesn't mean I should go ahead and marry one. I believed for a long time that I could just pretend to be straight and remain single. (I came out for the first time at 33.) But the real loneliness of being single and having no other option frightened me. As my friends got married, I could relate less to them and I spent a lot of time alone. I feared growing old without someone by my side. But most of all, I wanted to know love. I wanted someone to share my life with who could help me come closer to God. You see, attraction is not just about what you desire, it's also about who you can fall in love with.

    So all of that put together made me realize that I needed to look at my faith again. I reread the 6 or 7 verses in the Bible that are specifically about homosexuality. And I read them in context, and there just wasn't much there to help me. The verses are either a list of sins or talking about pagan uses of sex in worship. They don't tell me what to do as a gay man who is torn between the natural human desire for love and companionship and truly wanting to be a good Christian.

    And I started looking at other verses too. If you flip a few pages down from the list of the wicked in 1 Corinthians, there is a passage about women wearing coverings on their heads for prayer and shaving their heads if they refused. I started asking why do I consider one of these passages a law for all time and the other something merely cultural? Why do I believe that women can serve in the church and have authority over men, but I don't believe that I can marry someone I love?

    I discovered that I wasn't being consistent in my approach to the Bible. I was taking a very legalistic approach, but I didn't apply the same standards when reading other verses. I started looking at how Jesus interpretted the Law of Moses, and I found that if I apply His methods that I came to a much different understanding. Whatever the law is, it must fit under loving your neighbor as yourself and loving God with your whole heart. If you can love your spouse and love God at the same time, why couldn't I?

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    1. Marty, so sorry to take so long to reply to your comment! It's been a busy weekend!

      I have no problem with agreeing that the homosexual tendency is in most cases biological. As I said above, I do not believe that this tendency/orientation or whatever name we give it means it should necessarily be acted on, but rather Scriptural guidance should be sought for those who seek to follow Christ as disciples. Glad to see we agree so far as to this point.

      Thank you for sharing your story and helping me to see the world through your eyes. I found my heart breaking to hear how lonely you felt. I think this is the failure of the Church to be the Church (but my saying this doesn't help you much, I realize). Ideally, the Church should be a place where we come in all of our brokenness, sadness, loneliness and struggles and are forgiven and loved. In reality, Christians are sinners who lash out and forget to include people in their plans and reject people when they show a sign of weakness or admit to a struggle. I think the best scenario for a gay Christian would probably be to have a circle of friends who are able to know you well as you truly are and include you and care for you and pray for you and support you. But of course this can be difficult--but not impossible--to find.

      One question I have for you that I have never fully understood: Do you feel it is literally IMPOSSIBLE to ever fall in love with a woman? I know there are some gay Christians who claim they have done this. I'm sure the attraction to men never fully goes away and I'm sure it must feel odd to be with a woman, particularly at first, but if there is honesty in the relationship about the struggle, is it possible to achieve a love and companionship?

      I ask this because I do think we idealize romantic relationships in our world today. This is true of heterosexual relationships. Even in these relationships, there are times when our feelings do not line up with our commitment. There are days when we are grouchy. There are imperfect things about the ones we love. Sometimes there are real betrayals. And of course this is why divorce is so prevalent: idealization. When I counseled couples about to be married, I tried to remind them that infatuation wears off but love comes to grow. Love is about self-giving, too, not so much about what we receive. I am not asking you to deny the very real feelings that you have, of attraction to other men, nor am I asking you to ever lie about this feeling to a potential mate. But I am asking if perhaps your focus may not be on fulfilling your own needs in a relationship, versus the self-giving of love. I know for me as a heterosexual this is a constant battle to not be self-seeking. My sinful nature tells me this is primary; God's Word tells me it is not.

      One other word in regards to Biblical interpretation: I have always believed in letting Scripture interpret Scripture. I didn't use to believe in women pastors, for instance, but came to see how there are in fact women in leadership in the NT. Hence, these examples lead us to see that the commands against women speaking in the Church, etc., are cultural commands for that particular time in that local church. With the behavior of acting of homosexual impulses, there are no positive Scriptures, but only negative condemnations of the behavior. I guess that is where I have sought to interpret Scripture consistently. I know there are times I push away the Scripture because it says what I don't want to hear as well. But that doesn't change the standard.

      Marty, thank you for sharing so honestly, vulnerably, gently and authentically your experience as a gay Christian. I know we see things rather differently but I appreciate your kindness and gentleness in communication. I hope I've been able to be as respectful to you as you have been to me. I'd welcome a Facebook friend request from you if you would like to talk further.

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    2. Rebecca,

      Your question about whether or not it is possible for me to fall in love with a woman is an important one. Thank you for asking. Sometimes people make this issue just about proving their point, so it's so nice to be able to tell my story to help people understand.

      I agree that love and infatuation are different things. And getting into an idealized relationship without taking the time to get to know the other person is a problem for both gay and straight people. And anyone who has ever been in a real relationship knows that it isn't always rosy.

      I don't know if this will help you understand, but think about your relationships with your best female friends. There is love in those relationships, too, and the possibility for real intimacy and trust. And now think about your relationship with Chris, minus the physical part. As you sit and watch him go through the world, isn't there something about him that you just love, something that you don't experience with your female friends? Falling in love, I think, isn't just about physical attraction or deep intimacy. There's a spark between you and the person you love, something that makes your heart beat faster, that makes you want to get to know the other person and stick with him/her. And that spark grows to fuel your love after the initial infatuation goes away. I feel that spark and excitement around men but not around women. Maybe that's why my best friends are women--it's exhausting to always feel like you need to be at the top of your game around men!

      I do know two or three "mostly" gay Christians personally who got married and over time have come to have sexual attraction their spouses. In all of those cases, the men said that they had a little attraction to women to start with. Similarly, I personally know many other gay people who got married and didn't develop attraction to their spouses. There never was a spark to grow into a flame. For those people, the marriage ended in a divorce. Regardless of how the marriage ended, everyone was hurt, and it was even worse if there were children involved.

      The Mormon church recently changed some of their policies regarding gay people. They used to say that gay people should get married to a person of the opposite sex and then develop that love with their spouse. But after many years of this, they saw that too many of those marriages ended badly, so they are now advocating celibacy for people who are gay.

      When it comes down to it, I have to know myself and know whether or not I could fall in love with a woman. No one else can know for sure. And after 33 years of contemplation, my answer today is the same as when I was 12--I'm not attracted to women, only men. And I won’t risk hurting someone else for an experiment.

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    3. Regarding the Biblical interpretation--I’m still not convinced you are being consistent. If we are going to use the Bible as the basis for our belief, we have to make decisions about it. But we shouldn’t conflate those decisions with God’s will.

      There are thoughtful and informed people believe the Bible specifically states women should not be in leadership. There are thoughtful and informed people who believe the Bible allows women in leadership. There are thoughtful and informed people who believe that the Bible condemns same-sex relationships no matter the context. There thoughtful and informed people who believe the Bible doesn't address any loving, committed same-sex relationships. I don't think that our standard for what is God's will should be That Which Convinces Rebecca or That Which Convinces Marty.

      Romans 13 says, “The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”

      I believe we should use this as our standard for determining what sin is. And that is using the Scripture to interpret Scripture.

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    4. This is my problem with your original post. You end with “maybe we can change those individuals to see the world the way God does.” But what you really want is for them to see the world the way Rebecca believes God sees the world. There’s a big difference.

      And that difference can cause harm. You have a lot of nuance and room for grace in your thinking, but you didn’t express it at first. I wrote to you because I wanted to draw that out. This is for parents or anyone who works with children:

      When I was a kid and realized that I was attracted to men, I never heard that this was something natural that some people are just born with. I heard that it was condemned, that it was against God’s will, and that it was a choice. I heard as you say above that “Christians who are plugged into the Scriptures and Christian community fundamentally begin to change from the inside out.” I believed that statements like that meant I wouldn’t be attracted to the same sex anymore if I were just good enough. I didn’t have the sophistication to differentiate between orientation and action, and I was taught that impure thoughts were just as bad as the actions anyway.

      I tried to change by memorizing whole chapters of the Bible and reading it every night. I attended two youth groups at different churches. I befriended the kids at school that no one else would. I excelled in school and was valedictorian of a Billings high school. I never drank or swore or got in trouble. I prayed and cried and pleaded with God to make me the way I was supposed to be. But it didn’t work. And I began to think that something was wrong with me, that I was bad. One day in junior high, I took a kitchen knife and heated it over the flame of a candle. I prayed, “God, I will prove to you that I want to do your will. Please make me straight.” And I burned myself. I still have the scars.

      That didn’t work either. So I stuffed a plastic bag under the mattress, so that if anyone ever found out, I could smother myself with it. By the grace of God, I made it through. There are too many others who don’t.

      Gay teens have a suicide rate many times greater than straight teens. Bullying is a factor, but I was never bullied for being gay. I could pull off pretending to be straight. My issue was that I believed what adults said about being gay. I believed your words that good Christians who know the truth will change. Because I didn’t change, I thought I wasn’t good. And I hated myself and didn’t want to live anymore.

      I hope you understand that I’m not condemning you, and I know that my words must be difficult to hear. But I do want you to see things through my eyes. It might help you to save the life of a child. You may not know who the gay kids are, so I hope you can let all kids know that being gay is natural, that it’s just another piece of God’s diversity. Adults disagree about what to do about it, but God loves everyone, no matter what.

      I’m sorry for the long post that I had to split up. I didn’t set out to make it this long. I will send a Facebook friend request. I don’t discuss being gay on my page because several clients are on my friends list, and they could drop our company if they knew I was gay. I am willing to suffer the consequences of my beliefs, but I can’t make my coworkers suffer for them. (They all know I’m gay and are fine with it, by the way.)

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    5. Hi again, Marty,

      In reading your replies, I couldn't help but think how much it costs you, in a sense, to share your story so vulnerably. Especially with me, someone who has some disagreement with you. Thank you so very much. My heart broke in reading so much of your story.

      I am so sorry for the way you were shamed and made to feel so much rejection. It sounds as if you tried so hard to make the thoughts and feelings go away, but despite your strongest efforts, they simply did not. I am so sorry because had I known you then I probably would have thought you could just make it all go away too. Unfortunately, most of the Church did not at that time have a nuanced view of homosexuality that was willing to acknowledge biological factors and the reluctance of most homosexuals to have the feelings that they did. Unfortunately, we shamed the thoughts and feelings instead of emphasizing the more important matter of what we do with our thoughts, feelings, and urges. Unfortunately, we failed to love...which probably meant we were (are?) afraid of any kind of imperfection because it meant/means we had to face our own. And so we broke some people's hearts. And some of us even drove some of you to self-mutilation and to suicide, the shame was so great. The bullying, I think, breaks God's heart.

      Even now as I separate the action from the orientation, the activity from the person, I worry that even condemning the action stirs up the old tapes in my friends, the tapes that say they are worthless and do not deserve to live. I never want that to come across. I heard a story once of how American Indians (at least one tribe) look at homosexuality. They regard it as a gift, because the person who has it is often intuitive and artistic. But at the same time, they require celibacy. Hearing that influenced me so much because I saw the beauty in "different" kinds of personalities. It reminded me that there are many sides to many personality traits. There is good and bad, light and darkness. For the American Indians, there was appreciation without shame, but still a standard for some kind of code of behavior. To me, this seemed to be what the word "holy" is all about: set apart.

      I can understand that you are in a real dilemma. From what I hear you saying, it is too much of a gamble to marry a woman. If it ended badly, you worry for the children involved. Yet, you can hardly bear the idea of being alone. I can only imagine what this must be like.

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    6. In regard to Biblical interpretation: I don't think in this area it is so much what convinces Rebecca as it is conforming to the balanced witness of Scripture (regarding behavior, again, not orientation/predisposition or whatever word you want to use). It is also conforming to the balanced witness of interpretation throughout the history of the Church. I don't think I'm standing alone here. But I certainly do struggle with the implications of what I suggest. I struggle with knowing that saying what the Bible says means you and others who are gay will face much suffering. I don't know what to say about this and think this can better be addressed by those who are gay and choose to lay aside same-sex relationship behaviors.

      You brought up the Bible passage that says "love does no harm to its neighbor." But how do we define love? Sometimes speaking the truth hurts us, but doesn't harm us. However: certainly, what happened to you in terms of people shaming you for the feelings you had was not loving. Romans 8 tells us, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." I think the feelings/attractions you were feeling were not the adultery or lust that Jesus describes...Lust is to objectify another person. Lust is to try to take someone from another person...or to fantasize about doing so. Lust is to focus on sex in our minds, by choice, with someone who is not our mate. That is the lust in our hearts that Jesus condemns. Simple attraction to either gender in our hearts...well, who knows where it comes from? Born with it...family situation...occasionally, abuse (though I know the latter two were not the case with you). It's not the feelings but what we do with them. For example, though I love and am committed to Christopher, I sometimes notice someone who I find attractive. I'm human and I'm not dead, just because I'm married! But God calls me not to overly dwell on this and to not act on this. It is not the initial feeling that is wrong, but what I do with it.

      I think it's worth mentioning too that the point of this post was not really the morality of homosexual behavior per se, although you could argue that it is a sub-point. I was addressing whether we Christians should be boycotting Starbucks and other businesses who might have social agendas we disagree with. But you are right that my closing sentences suggested that I do believe change of lifestyle is possible and desirable--not just in this issue but in any issue of morality that troubles us.

      Thank you again, Marty, for sharing your story and for your consistently gracious spirit. I certainly will not write about any of this on your Facebook wall, but if we choose to continue to converse, I trust private messages are ok?

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  4. Extremely interesting post, and compelling dialogue following.

    I consider myself to be a pretty traditional Christian, but often get myself in trouble with self-proclaimed "conservative" Christians when I ask what the difference is between a gay person and any other sinner. The church as a whole has not been Jesus' hands and feet in this area, but has reserved this sin as an area in which it seems perfectly acceptable to lash out at others.

    I have no problem with civil partnerships. And if two consenting adults are not harming others and are contributing to the community, I am not going to be the one who passes judgement on what they are doing. I think that displaying grace and love to them (as well as, hopefully, everyone with whom I come in contact) is far more beneficial and scriptural.

    I certainly don't have all the answers, but as I have grown older, I prefer to err on the side of grace. And I'm so glad.

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    1. Hi Vickie...thanks for stopping by. I think there is no difference between acting out on homosexual inclinations and any other sin...(Understand, I am not saying the inclination is sin, but the action.) I agree that to gang up on someone for acting this out as if they are worse than anyone else is ridiculous.

      I do think there is a difference between what we should require in terms of the government and what we should require in terms of the Church. Christians are called to turn away from sin...but this is of course a life-long journey of growth.

      It's probably one of the most difficult ethical dilemmas the Church faces today. But we need to take care that as we challenge gay people to follow Scripture, we also challenge heterosexuals. We heterosexuals have a pretty bad track record with marriage.

      Thanks again for stopping by!

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  5. Great conversation! I don't feel like I have much to add, but appreciated your thoughts about "love" being self giving vs. self seeking. Every marriage is (at times) an opportunity to deny ourselves and love is God intended. Marriage (and the issue of sexual orientation) is so much more than who you get to have sex with and not be looked down upon. I understand that science points to the fact that people are "born this way" and while I will never condemn those who have homosexual tendencies, I do think acting on those impulses is wrong. I have great respect for the outspoken gay Christians who have chosen celibacy. I am a liar, thief, glutton, etc, etc... and also try to abstain from those things that scripture speaks against. Thank GOD for His mercy and grace - for all of us! You might find the comments for a post I did a couple years back on the subject interesting. :) http://norseandjes.blogspot.com/2009/07/my-opinion.html

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    1. Jesica, I can only echo your thanksgiving for God's mercy and grace! None of us deserve it, eh?

      Thanks for sharing your post too.

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